So EMBARRASSED I'll have to change my name and not just on Mumsnet.

[Imfat]

Last week I was in hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, came out on Thursday morning.
As it's a lovely day here, DH and I went for a short walk.
On the way back I somehow tripped and knocked myself out.
Came around in an ambulance on the way to hospital. DH went home to get the car to follow me.
The embarrassing part was I'd dirtied myself both ways.
Got to hospital and I was taken into a side cubicle so they could clean me up, the health care assistant was
only our DDS friend. I was crying and she was so kind and trying to calm me down.
Still don't know how I tripped but have also broken my arm, bashed my nose and scraped my face.
Still in hospital awaiting a scan on my head.

Please cheer me up with your embarrassing stories.

I was about to say, health professionals won't even remember OP's story, they'll have seen it so many times. However, they will remember the things people have put up their bums and not been able to remove, and the excuses they'll give for it. They won't embarrass you about it, though. I'm told they're generally just relieved if it's not a sink plunger, apparently those are the worst to remove.

@Ithinkofawittyusernamethenforgetit My dad's favourite saying, we used to get the whole rhyme though, never met anyone else who knew it.

Oh @imfat that all sounds incredibly rubbish, so sorry for your humiliation but honestly this will barely register for HCA’s, they are absolutely not phased about bodily functions as we would all be if we dealt with them daily.

Please don’t go to Mars, you’ve been very well looked after and treated with the kindness and dignity you deserve, you haven’t done anything wrong and I’d hate for you to have to travel such a long way in a vehicle that should be reserved for idiots like Trump on a one way trip!

What,
Manners, pianos, tables and chairs
All belong to the lady upstairs ?
Sometimes, my mum just saying “manners pianos…” was enough 😂
Sorry for derailing OP, I saw your update, sounds awful - you really have had a bad time of it. All the best.

Just a tip for nurses that have very smelly patients. A half face wipe up each nostril. I'm not a nurse but use to work in salons where surprisingly people come in unwashed. Or a face mask of course.

Aww bless your heart. Honestly, the HCA will have seen it all before, probably several times per day. You have clearly been through the mill, with having pneumonia and now falling and breaking your arm/fracturing your skull. I fell down steps at the Royal Observatory in London during half-term, was rescued by a man at least 20 years older than myself (I'm 51) and he spoke no English, and I was at the bottom of the steps, a bawling, snotty mess! I've fractured a bone in my foot, and won't be back to work until after Christmas.

@Imfat omg! what are you like 😆

I have a "friend" who could help.😉

Do you remember tripping or could you have passed out? Even so, if you did trip it’s probably because you are still weak and you’re balance is off from being poorly.

Bloody hell you poor thing!! I absolutely understand being mortified but you were clearly very injured and still recovering from being poorly. You should move away of you'd just done it drunk but honestly there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Get well soon!

Oh, OP. I hope you feel better soon. My most embarrassing moment happened in my mid teens. Swimming in a local pool, thinking I looked fantastic in my new bikini, I reached the end and a boy I REALLY fancied leant from the side and reached down to pull me out of the water. I stretched out my hand to grasp his and my bikini top slid up to my neck. My little boob was there for all to see. The embarrassment was excruciating!

Oh, lassie...This happens to everyone.

The closest that I came to it was when I woke up from a gynae op and heard my nurse saying "Mrs Weary, is that you? You were my English teacher!"

I’ve treated people I know when they attended ED and they’re literally just another patient. Sure, I briefly registered it was person I knew,then just moved on. I think you’re worryingly unnecessarily. It’s not worth a second thought

Hope you make a speedy recovery and take care of yourself

Similar happened to me when I was about 14. Reached my arms in the air in a swimming pool and both my boobs popped out. I wasn't very well endowed.

I have posted about this before but will re-post it for you since you are so mortified:

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad.

Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

A fortnight before I retired, I somehow fell all the way down the main staircase at work. Came to and the first thing through my mind was "Please God, don't let my knickers be showing."

Fortunately, the first two on the scene were senior girls. I don't think anyone saw my knickers, but I'll never be sure.

I had to go to hospital for a check-up, but was back at work on the Monday. Two 4th Year (15/16 yr old) boys ran up to me: "Mrs Weary, are you okay?"

"I'm fine boys, how kind of you to ask!"

Just then, their pal ran up: "Aww. I just missed it!"

I thought it just sounded concerning she’d hurt herself.

My dad was Eastern European. Garlic was the cure for everything.

DH and I arrived at my parents' one time, to be greeted by Dad who had a clove of garlic up each nostril.

To reassure you notes are crushingly boring and factual. There’s no funnies in medical notes

That might be for the best when there are people that say things like this.

In a very crowded lift in Earls Court tube station, I suddenly felt very ill and was violently sick down the back of a woman's neck - we were so crammed in that neither of us could move. She was very nice about it and refused to let me give her money for dry cleaning.

Thank you!

this makes me feel a bit less stupid 🤣

NC for this. Decades ago, I passed out in one of those stand up sun bed things. Lady working heard me fall, but, in a panic, couldn’t open the door. So she went next door to some BUILDERS 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ who came and hauled me out, starkers, except for those weird tin foil things you put on your eyes. Came round to some poor man yelping “for gods sake, cover her up” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You’re on fire wi hit posts today
Im laughing imagining your Da with a garlic bulb up his snitch

I snapped a dog biscuit in half and a large crumb flew up and stuck to my cornea. GP said to go to eye A&E, but it was out of hours so was whizzed through ordinary A&E. I heard the doctor ask the nurse what I had done. When he came in he could hardly suppress his laughter but removed the crumble. He went out and was giggling down the department, moaning "Dog biscuit!" at regular intervals. Made his shift, I think.