So EMBARRASSED I'll have to change my name and not just on Mumsnet.

[Imfat]

Last week I was in hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, came out on Thursday morning.
As it's a lovely day here, DH and I went for a short walk.
On the way back I somehow tripped and knocked myself out.
Came around in an ambulance on the way to hospital. DH went home to get the car to follow me.
The embarrassing part was I'd dirtied myself both ways.
Got to hospital and I was taken into a side cubicle so they could clean me up, the health care assistant was
only our DDS friend. I was crying and she was so kind and trying to calm me down.
Still don't know how I tripped but have also broken my arm, bashed my nose and scraped my face.
Still in hospital awaiting a scan on my head.

Please cheer me up with your embarrassing stories.

Oh lovely what an awful time you are having at the moment, I hope you are on the mend very soon! I've had pleurisy and it was horrific and whilst I've never broken my arm or cracked my skull I have broken my collarbone so I understand a fraction of your pain.
My embarrassing story unfortunately is about soiling myself but I'm hoping it makes you feel less alone and you're not the only one it has happened too. I have a spinal injury that unfortunately has caused bladder incontinence, the very first time it happened I was on my way home from work as a young 20 something and I stopped off to buy some cigs, queuing up at the cig kiosk in Sainsburys (where my ex worked although thankfully didn't see him so admittedly it could have been worse and Elon Musk wasn't flying pop singers into space back then so my only option would've been Australia) minding my own business and wondering what to have for tea when all of a sudden there was a puddle on the floor! Being young and absolutely stunned this had happened with zero warning, I froze and didn't know what to do, after about 30 seconds (that felt like 30 minutes) the person in front of me in the queue moved forward and I legged it out the store and back to my car and cried the rest of the way home (never been more grateful i had an emergency pack of cigs stashed with a bottle of vodka!) Now a decade and a half later I still remember every horrible second of it but I'm not longer embarrassed and I've learnt many many ways of hiding the fact that I pee myself regularly!
Glad to hear you are now on a ward and sending prayers and best wishes for a speedy recovery x

Ps. I also echo the other PPs that say your DDs friend will have seen it all and will have just have been concerned about you but I don't expect that will help much at the moment, hopefully with enough people telling you and a little bit of time passing though you'll realise you've really nothing to be embarrassed about it happens to the best of us

So then you’ve very likely got concussion

put your phone down. Rest up.

I’d contribute to your Go Fund Me 😂

As everyone said, they’ve seen it all. Hope you’re doing better now.

Poor you! Don't be embarrassed; HC professionals have seen all this a million times before. Trust me, it just becomes routine.
My lovely, mild mannered dad tried to fight people when in hospital with septicaemia. He was mortified later on. He's a big man as well, so it can't have been fun for the wonderful hospital staff trying to help him. He was just so ill and confused.

I have NCd for this as it’s my most embarrassing moment ever. One night in my early twenties I went out with a group of friends to a very hot, crowded bar. I fainted and when I came round I was lying on the pavement outside with about six of my friends gathered round me. The first thing I did upon regaining consciousness was several long, loud, smelly farts. I had no control over them. I’m still mortified, decades later. (And still friends with them all!)

My friend went into work one day, not remembering much about the night before, only to be told about the previous night's performance in a state of undress on the table in a pub. Now that's what I call embarrassing. 🤣

Another friend projectile vomited in a posh restaurant after suddenly becoming very ill. In another restaurant he passed out and had to be taken to hospital for surgery. I can't remember if it was the same restaurant. The surgery was urgent but fairly routine. I'm sure the restaurant staff and other diners thought he was drunk.

On Valentines day this year Dh said he was going into the local village to get me some kichen roll, I jokingly said that's a very romantic present. I met him as he was walking back up our street, I was carrying 2 ltrs of milk, I tripped, fell and my head bounced off the ground, milk and blood everywhere, broken nose as well as broken wrist 🙄 you bet I was glad of that kitchen roll😅 worst of it was three people came to help me, one who insisted on calling an ambulance when all I wanted to do was get up off the ground and run and hide. It's not my first time, but you just feel so silly.

Walked into the room for my colonoscopy to be greeted by 2 school mums. They offered for someone else to do it, but actually, I was more comfortable that I did know them, as I knew they'd take good care of me. 😁

Some of these have me in absolute stitches, thanks ladies! And OP, I’m really sorry, sounds horrible, get well soon

Probably the time when I was in the Navy and very drunk in a foreign country- I decided that bubbles in the fountain was someone drowning so decided to jump in after them…
the time that I decided on deployment I wanted to go home- again drunkenly booked a flight home- tried to get off the ship- was rugby tackled and kept watched on all night- the worst thing is though- I’d packed someone else’s clothes that was a completely different size to me 🤣🤣🤣

OP women in labour soil themselves often. I think everyone feels mortified at the thought of it, but healthcare professionals are used to dealing with it.

After giving birth I was horribly constipated but very sore from all the stitches. Doc offered to give me something up my bum to help. He did it with the help of a nurse. Said doc is now a parent in my child’s class. Great.

That sounds awful OP, hope you’re ok
Please remember nursing staff will have seen it all multiple, multiple times
Try not to be embarrassed
Sending a hug
xxx

This is totally outing...

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend about the Natural Law Party (aah, the 1990s!) and mentioned the yogic flying. Friend's daughter interjected to ask what yogic flying was, so 40-something me decided to demonstrate. I sat down to get into the lotus position. First foot went up fine. I was wearing jeans which were a bit stiff, so had to yank on them to pull my second foot up into position. Suddenly there was an almighty CRACK! - which was my left kneecap dislocating. After a couple of weeks of hobbling around, somebody else asked me how I did it, so I decided to show her. And dislocated my kneecap again!!

To make matters worse, the doctor I saw at the hospital was taking full notes for my GP, and I duly received a copy of the letter he sent to her, saying, "this 40something year old teacher was practising a yogic flying pose..." Aargh!! The shame!

Bloody hell, no wonder you messed yourself. It's probably quite common with serious injuries.

I've had three post forceps (yes, I'm VERY lucky) ibuprofen suppositories by a fellow school parent. Sure he's met plenty of arseholes so won't remember mine....

Of course, that’s the entire point. Empathy and reassurance that actually she doesn’t need to be. Right?

That is hilarious @litlleseahorse

I had forceps… is that why I was so badly constipated? Didn’t happen with my ‘natural’.

If it makes you feel better I went out out to lunch in london today and had my stoma bag fail and suddenly felt 💩 all down my leg. Dived to toilets and managed to get emergency bag on. All good. Got train home and when I got off train felt something hot running down my leg. Still had to get in cab home. Friends were lovely. Got home and dived in shower only to realise I’d forgotten to close end of second bag! 😳😳😳. The joys of stoma life.

Not mine, but in 6th form my friend had an operation and they asked if she wanted a suppository and she said yes. Our other friends Mum was the nurse that administered the suppository!

No, I don't think I will be sharing anything sorry @Imfat I don't feel comfortable sharing embarrassing stories with people online.

Of any kind.............

(Hope you're OK now though.)

.
.

Poor you - I hope you’re okay.

i used to faint a lot in my late teens to early twenties. I once went to a nightclub with my uni friends and fainted - coming around I wet myself and it was so embarrassing. The feel of those cold, wet trousers. I was mortified.

Nurses are absolute angels. So are paramedics. The ones who attended to me were so kind and did their best to patch me up. Try not to dwell on it. You’re just a human being who needs help and it’s their job to help - please don’t be embarrassed. Thank them for looking after you when you leave and feel better.

That’s terrible 😢

My midwife for my 2nd child was a school mum, chatting to her whilst she did an internal exam was always fun, and I'm sure she'd seen the internals of many of the mums at the school gates.

I'm a hca and honestly your story is our bread and butter, even if you were someone I knew it wouldn't really register, certainly not as embarrassing. Soiling is common with head injuries that result in loss of consciousness and really nothing that can be helped or to be ashamed of.

The couple of patients I really remember from my four years in acute medicine are the woman who basically bled to death the the cancer in her lungs, the man who put a fire extinguisher through the window of the bay at 3am terrifying the other patients (and us!), and the young man with spina bifida and a pressure sore so massive you could see the bottom of his spine and fit your whole hand in the wound (and so badly infected you could smell from the other side of the ward). He ended up with a very fancy vacuum dressing from the tissue viability team and became a clinical education case

A change of knickers is honestly nothing