When toddlers won’t walk, won’t go in pushchair and won’t use balance bike etc …

[Lostinthewood2]

Are we housebound or committed to carrying her around for the foreseeable?

Obviously I am being slightly facetious there but it is becoming a pain … She is 2 years and four months to give an idea.

You are talking about your child whacking her head off a pavement and tipping her buggy over which isn't safe and needs a parent to sort out, better buggy and better straps that work -that's your job as a parent.

Of course if they are at a NT place or a wood they run about, why would you force her into a buggy then

its basic common sense if your child can tip their buggy over that its not robust enough and a safety issue.

Nothing in my post was aggressive, just basic parenting and common sense

But forcing that, with a screaming, crying toddler trying desperately to escape for a walk round a national trust garden, or a shopping centre, or a walk in the woods, that she won’t enjoy and I won’t enjoy and others around us won’t enjoy because hey, I’m the parent? No, thanks.

No-one has suggested this

I think perhaps its a question of picking your battles which I think is why you are having issues.

NT, park, woods
I would run mine like labradors until they were exhausted😂

That's the point of nice long walk-to wear them out !

Near roads, car parks, busy shopping centre -buggy
However I kept shopping trips very short

You’ve confused me with a different poster @Fuckoffeasypeelers . DD has never done that.

My post title says ‘when your toddler won’t walk; if she’d run about there wouldn’t be a problem; there wouldn’t be a thread.

Oh right, I meant that if you also had to deal with a newborn you'd probably approach this differently. If you have all the time in the world to do things her way, as you say there's no point starting WW3 over it.

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice , I do know what you mean. Of course if we had to get to school on time or if we had a GP appointment or DS’s rugby and we had to walk there then we couldn’t endlessly wait until DD decides she’s going to cooperate.

But during the week when it’s just us I do want to do nice things with her. I actually had a couple of days away where she was very difficult about going in the pushchair and just wanted to be carried everywhere, but that was probably exacerbated by the fact we were away! She had a good walk yesterday, lots of fresh air and she’s a fairly mild mannered toddler usually (as toddlers go that is) but she really doesn’t like the pushchair and would rather be carried everywhere!

Strangely all the children I've cared for recently who are like this happily go in the pushchair/car seat for me....so it's more a cling to parent than an I hate pushchairs. With one of mum meets us at school she has to hide behind me otherwise the child goes from laughing and singing to screaming.

No you replied to.poster saying she flings herself around and nearly tips over her pushchair .

If she wont walk then it's pushchair
Give her the two choices

I had one who would just sit down when tired
I couldn't carry him, he was huge
Pushchair
If they kick off so be it.

Its just emotional dysregulation, perfectly normal and just a phase.
I would just firmly tell them at the start if they get tired they will be going into the buggy.

My second was pushchair hater so I feel your pain OP!

I think all the pp saying 'just force her in' are working on the assumption that the buggy has an effective harness/strap, I would say it's not normal for toddlers to be able to actually escape a buggy once they are strapped in.

I don't normally like to post on threads and say 'just buy a new one' but your buggy isn't really fit for purpose if it can't hold your DD and the most effective solution here is to have a buggy she can't get out of and go cold turkey on the carrying her. Otherwise, backpack reins, lots of bribes/patience and work on getting her to walk further

Yes, I replied to them, I didn’t say she had done this.

We are going around in endless and pointless circles. You say if she won’t walk then it’s pushchair I explain this upsets her, is stressful for me and it impedes on other people if we’re out and about. You tell me to let her walk then. I explain she won’t. And …

I have no issue in forcing the pushchair if it’s an absolute have-to-get-somewhere situation but I can only think of once when that’s happened recently. So my question is more about when we’re out and about; walks to feed ducks or pottering about.

@ImFineItsAllFine it’s Christmas in less than a month and also my older child’s birthday; I really don’t have spare money for a new pushchair, even a cheap second hand one (and good second hand ones aren’t really all that cheap.) https://www.facebook.com/share/1BXuKRsPyp/?mibextid=wwXIfr one for example is £130; possibly they would be open to offers but still not cheap!

They are hard work at that age. 💐Are you sure she hasn't outgrown her shoes? They have weird spurts

Given you have got time during the week just the two of you to do nice things I think you have options for this. Bribery and distraction gets you everywhere.

School run on a national road - non negotiable. Can't make big sister/brother late for school. Let's get DC1 to school and go to the coffee shop for a hot chocolate/the park/a children's group.

For the park, national trust etc. Assuming you get there in a car and get everyone out, then it's time to fake a back injury. You don't want to walk, I'm sorry but Mummy's back hurts, I can't lift you. [You might have to have a sore back for a month] . We'll have to go home again then.

Things that help with walking motivation:
New wellies to be shown off and puddles to find
or winter boots/trainers - the kind that have flashing lights if you walk.
A childs umbrella. Can't be used if you are carrying her or in the buggy for that matter.
Games - you've had lots of suggestions. Treasure hunt is another one. Collect different leaves to stick on a page or to paint and make prints [of the veins], tons of suggestions online for outdoor forest school type activities.
Soft play. Maybe she just loathes the cold and will happily toddle off if the surfaces are soft and it's warmish.
Library. Lots of new exciting books if she loves a story.

Chocolate buttons for when she completely runs out of steam and bring the buggy so you always have a back up if it's a longer walk. Too tired to walk, hop in.

This was us with one of my dses. Tried EVERYTHING!! Unfortunately yes it was all carry or walk at snails pace!!!!

Thanks. Luckily we don’t need it to get to school!

Mine refused a pushchair from about 20 months. I got him one of those trikes with the parent handle

My dd wouldn't walk with my DH at about that age, because he walked too fast. If we slowed down to her (agonisingly slow) pace she would walk a fair way.

She also wouldn't get in the pushchair from about 2 so I feel your pain. Everyone got all sanctimonious about it and said she'd get in if she had to, she'd get in eventually etc. No she didn't. She just got stronger and able to walk further over time.

Im also a big advocate, in the event of a strop, for waiting until dc are ready to move (if not in a rush for other reasons). I've spent a lot of time standing in car parks . . . They get bored eventually.

Could you make it so she has a “choice” and is therefore in “control”.

Give her 3 options that ALL work for you and let her choose one.

The choices thing has never worked for either of mine; they just say no to all of them. I can see how it could work well if they hadn’t twigged that though!

You need to be firmer then, it’s one of these choices or insert age and stage relevant consequence.

When our DS was in a stubborn phase we brought in a marble jar. He’d get a marble to reward him for doing well (at anything) and when the marble jar was full he got a treat.

Use positive reinforcement in tandem with the choices. And be firm. You are the parent.

@CaptainSevenofNine i know. So does she. Her parent; her mother. Not her jailer, prison guard, executioner or sergeant. Her mum. And that does sometimes mean I have to make decisions for both of us she might not agree with; it does not mean that I get to make her miserable, me miserable and ruin other people’s enjoyment because I gave birth.

‘You are the parent’ is a statement that’s aggressive and unhelpful. I’m not in any doubt as to who I am.

I used to have a set of little Shopkins toys that lived on the pocket on the back of the pram. Dd could only play with them while in the pram. Mostly worked!

Pram = loss of autonomy, work out a way to make her want to be in it.

Ultimately you might need to push through even if there's screaming etc. the goal not being to have a nice time, maybe only to get from a to b.

Otherwise she'll scream at anything she doesn't fancy.

I think you're being a bit dramatic there. Who's talking about execution?

You enforce the boundaries. She works out if a rule changes if she screams and protests about it. It's not violent to say no, this is the rule.

You need to work out what's genuine upset and what's generic 2yo frustration and venting. It's a natural process for them to get angry at things, it doesn't always mean you're doing anything wrong or need to change track.

Honestly, ignore these perfect parents. I don't even know why they needed to be firm at all or put consequences in, their child should just do as their told, mine did (mine actually did but I had 2 stupidly compliant toddlers through absolutely nothing but sheer luck).

Some kids are harder than others.

I do recommend a chest strap, they're about £6 on Amazon. some kids are little escape artists and even in decent prams & car seats with correctly fitted straps, they'll escape.

Do you have one of those attachments to hold snacks? Ours could be bribed to do most things with blueberries and raisins

@Haroldwilson I’m not intentionally being dramatic. But I have never liked ‘you’re the parent.’ It’s shorthand for ‘you’re in charge.’ Yes, I am, I don’t need to make my daughter scream and cry (and inflict that screaming and crying on those in our proximity!) to make that point.

@Phonicshaskilledmeoff unfortunately she just isn’t motivated by snacks at all … I wish she’d eat blueberries! She will eat raisins sometimes but it’s hit and miss. Her appetite hasn’t been brilliant recently actually.

Always makes me annoyed when people say that they'd get in if they had to. My DS was walking from 8 months old so by 20 months he was a pro at walking. Because I didn't want to spend 20 minutes walking a 5 minute journey I got him the trike with parent handle and luckily he fell in love with it 😅 people with DC who are happy to be in a pushchair at 3 just don't understand the sheer will of a child who despises one😂