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Original poster

When toddlers won’t walk, won’t go in pushchair and won’t use balance bike etc …

153 replies

Lostinthewood2 · 27/11/2025 10:06

Are we housebound or committed to carrying her around for the foreseeable?

Obviously I am being slightly facetious there but it is becoming a pain … She is 2 years and four months to give an idea.

OP posts:
schoolfriend · 27/11/2025 12:00

Our toddler loves a backpack carrier. It's a bit of a workout but it's ok - have you tried something like that?

Salinkly · 27/11/2025 12:06

My dcs have been the absolute opposite, bloody hard to get them out of the buggy and the eldest still hops into her younger sister's when she's not in it, at age 6! I think I used to bribe them with a smartie sometimes, but generally I just said if they wouldn't get in, they could walk, and they would for about 4 mins and then get bored and want to sit down. We did have one of those extra straps but dc figured out how to wriggle out of it.

But we don't use a car at all in London, and when we do have a car on holiday they barely need to walk anywhere as we just go door to door, so if you have a car-centered lifestyle I don't think there's much need for a buggy.

Justastupidgirl · 27/11/2025 12:12

Just to add that what you're experiencing is definitely normal OP. Mine (third child) also kicks off massively, screams, thrashes around, escapes from the straps etc. It's a huge physical effort to get him into the buggy and keep him there. But sometimes it's necessary.

Mine is getting too big for me to carry, so he gets the option of going on his scooter (like his big brother) or going in the buggy. He always chooses the scooter, but within about 5 minutes starts to cry and asks to be picked up. I say no, you can ride your scooter or go in the buggy. He chooses the scooter again, then trails behind me wailing about wanting to be picked up (which he describes as 'wanting a cuddle', just to make me look even more heartless to random passers by!).

If he stops moving, I put him in the buggy whether he likes it or not and put up with the screaming and thrashing and trying to escape. It's stressful and shit, but thats parenting toddlers for you.

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Justastupidgirl · 27/11/2025 12:14

Jamjarcandlestick · 27/11/2025 11:59

My 2 year old hates the pram (we still use the big one that could have the car seat/bassinet on top). If she’s came out of it, she’ll refuse to go back in it (we have the anti escape straps but she’s worked them out too!)

At the moment we let her walk for as long as she wants and then when she gets tired she’ll put up a slight fight to get in but it’s not too bad. If she refuses to walk or get in the pram I’ll wait for her to make a decision/sit on the grass. Much easier than fighting her in the pram.

Not always possible when you have the school run and work to get to!

WiltedLettuce · 27/11/2025 12:14

I'd get a more robust pushchair, OP.

Wfhftm · 27/11/2025 12:16

Maybe try a different buggy.

AnotherJaffaCakePlease · 27/11/2025 12:16

Have a look on Amazon for a car seat belt collector, small piece of plastic designed for car seats but I have used it on the pram straps. Made it very difficult for my son to get his arms free of the straps.

SaffyWall · 27/11/2025 12:23

You can get an extra chest clip that can go on the pushchair straps - they're mainly intended for children who escape from car seats (my second child was like Houdini!). It might help in the short term so that once she's in the pushchair she can't writhe around as much.

Persistancy and consistency were the only way I got through the toddler years with DC2. May the odds be ever in your favour!

FloorWipes · 27/11/2025 12:23

MyPurpleHeart · 27/11/2025 11:51

This isn't just about a pushchair OP, its an important message, that she is in charge. You don't want to hurt her, and screaming for hours on end helps no one, but you need to set a boundary and stick to it. Today its a pushchair, tomorrow its brushing her teeth, in 5 years its going to school.

This is not how it works and this parenting myth needs to die. It has caused so much damage.

WiltedLettuce · 27/11/2025 12:25

FloorWipes · 27/11/2025 12:23

This is not how it works and this parenting myth needs to die. It has caused so much damage.

Show quote history

I agree. Boundaries are important but parenting isn't a war.

Some stuff just does pass in time.

oustedbymymate · 27/11/2025 12:25

Toddler sling?

Original poster
Lostinthewood2 · 27/11/2025 12:28

Thanks.

I don’t think they we are doomed forevermore if I lose this particular battle. Sometimes the more you lock horns the more you give them something to fight against.

I wouldn’t mind her coming out of the pushchair to walk but the problem is she generally won’t walk; she wants to be carried and as she’s getting bigger that’s not comfortable. It also means I can’t see very well as she’s in my eyeline! I hate her on my shoulders as it really hurts and makes me hunch over in a weird position.

I do have a backpack; will have to dig it out. Thank you.

OP posts:
Ahfiddlesticks · 27/11/2025 12:29

Chest strap so they can't get their arms out, it's the only way.

I've seen more than one toddler launch themselves out of a pushchair (that they were strapped in to).

Jugendstiel · 27/11/2025 12:34

They are desperate to be in control of their lives at that point. I used to tell DC the problem: We have to get to X soon or we will miss it. You don't want to walk, use the buggy or bike. How can we solve this problem?

Obviously I would, in the end, put a screaming child in the buggy and get on with what we needed to do, but I'd spend a couple of minutes seeing if I could wheedle a 'decision' out of DS1, so the whole thing was less stressful. We'd end up with crazy but fine compromises e.g. So you will go in the buggy if you can wear your Santa suit in June? Fine. Let's get it on you and go! Also sometimes you find stuff out - like - the seat is really uncomfortable or their shoes hurt. They can have reasons but not realise you don't know them.

WiltedLettuce · 27/11/2025 12:36

You can't be lugging a hefty toddler for long distances. It's got to be walk or pushchair.

Does she have a fold up doll's pushchair, by any chance? My little one loves pushing her dolly in her buggy.

Otherwise your options are force or distraction. You could try stickers or a snack/chocolate coin.

SearchingforSleep · 27/11/2025 12:36

My daughter was similar at the same age. Hated walking and deeply unhappy in a pushchair. I think for her it might have been a bit of separation anxiety/general overwhelm but I’ll never know for sure.
We didn’t force the issue and used a toddler sling so that it was more comfortable to carry her. And she liked the reassurance of being close. It didn’t last forever (although it felt like it at the time! 🫣) and she grew out of it. As a teenager now she will happily walk for miles and takes busy, crowded places in her stride.
Good luck, OP. I hope it passes for you soon. You sound like a lovely mum.

Glamba · 27/11/2025 12:42

Lostinthewood2 · 27/11/2025 12:28

Thanks.

I don’t think they we are doomed forevermore if I lose this particular battle. Sometimes the more you lock horns the more you give them something to fight against.

I wouldn’t mind her coming out of the pushchair to walk but the problem is she generally won’t walk; she wants to be carried and as she’s getting bigger that’s not comfortable. It also means I can’t see very well as she’s in my eyeline! I hate her on my shoulders as it really hurts and makes me hunch over in a weird position.

I do have a backpack; will have to dig it out. Thank you.

Edited

She can't actually force you to walk and carry her though. She likes that option and is perhaps holding out for it as long as you will give in and do it, but you can take it off the table. Or limit it to 60 seconds or something as your back is too sore. Maybe pick a day when you don't have to be anywhere in a hurry. But she isn't making you carry her. If you broke your arm or damaged your back you would have to find other options, so if you don't want to carry her, imagine you can't and go from there.

baddecisionsmakegreatcompany · 27/11/2025 12:50

when my son throws himself about in his pushchair it does not feel very safe. Have you still got a big pram it might be more sturdy for her? Appreciate it’s not as easy to put up and down etc

Original poster
Lostinthewood2 · 27/11/2025 12:51

But she can refuse to move, or run in the opposite direction. And does, unfortunately!

That’s a lovely post @SearchingforSleep, I don’t always feel it! 😩😩

OP posts:
Hedgehog23 · 27/11/2025 13:20

You could try a buggy board. That worked well with my eldest once he had a sibling. I drove a lot of places. Or I would drive to close to the bus stop and park so there was less walking. I did do more active things with them - so might take them for a walk to to a playground or soft play.

I do think some kids are particularly buggy resistant and if you haven’t experienced it, you don’t see how tricky it is.

SiberFox · 27/11/2025 13:20

My toddler went through this. Sometimes we just forced her in, but she liked taking something with her and then she’d go in voluntarily. Some milk, and/or little snack (some apple or berries or bread stick), or even a toy or a book. Focusing her on what she wanted to take (bunny or piggy?) distracted her from not wanting to do it

TheRealMagic · 27/11/2025 13:36

Lostinthewood2 · 27/11/2025 10:38

Anyway, it’s one of those threads where id love it if anyone else who had this has been there but it does seem it’s unique to us.

I actually think the unusual thing is that you do have total choice about whether you go out. I don't think many do - both mine went through this stage with the pushchair, but there really was no choice to stay home, they were going to nursery so I could go to work, the younger one had to go in the pram so I could pick up his brother from school, etc. I just couldn't say I couldn't do it (and I remember how awful it was trying to get a flailing toddler in a pushchair while 8 months pregnant - but I did!). It really does pass once it's clear there is no option, but I also really do appreciate that you don't feel comfortable forcing that when you don't have to. In which case then yes, your other option is to not go out to places that she has to either walk or sit in the pushchair, or to carry her (I wouldn't recommend that option as I think it's the one that she will find very easy to stick to and so where it's very low incentive for her to pick another option). I imagine this phase won't last long either way, but you're right that there are no very palatable options to get through it!

jannier · 27/11/2025 14:15

Put her in the pushchair even if she's kicking and screaming

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2025 14:15

‘this too will pass’, but its a tough stage to get through
You need reins for sure - apart from preventing ‘running off in the opposite direction’, they can also prevent the child collapsing onto the ground. And you need to be consistent that she’s too big now for you to carry.
we used a fair amount of bribery - a chocolate button at every lamppost through the village, or an icecream if she’d walked nicely on days out. At one stage I’d tell her she needed to be able to walk a long way before we could take her to Disneyland … by the time we thought she might be old enough to really cope with it she wasn’t bothered, was happy doing real things like walking up Lake District hills. 😂

UnbeatenMum · 27/11/2025 14:23

My eldest wasn't keen on the buggy but did like her smart trike at that age. My niece was the same.