When toddlers won’t walk, won’t go in pushchair and won’t use balance bike etc …

[Lostinthewood2]

Are we housebound or committed to carrying her around for the foreseeable?

Obviously I am being slightly facetious there but it is becoming a pain … She is 2 years and four months to give an idea.

Have you tried a trike? smart trike do ones that you can push like a pushchair but it also has pedals and you can also lock the steering. Our son loved his and it made going out so much easier

You areright to say there aren't many helpful suggestions here but II think there are only a couple of fixes : either don't go out or if you do then only with a better buggy so she doesn't hurt herself or you. Otherwise, he physical dominance or raisins come out equally in my view.

I don’t think I’ve said that; actually there are a lot of helpful suggestions. Just that repeating ‘force her’ isn’t one of them!

How can you possibly be incapable of overpowering a toddler?

Some things are not negotiable and you just have to pin them down and get on with it. Wait till you have to force feed them some form of medication or they decide they no longer want to brush their teeth.

Buggies are easy. Tickle them and they double over. Do straps up tight and if she rocks it, let it tip over onto grass. She'll quickly learn not to do it.

Easy way to stop wriggling is to suddenly tip the buggy back on its back wheels like you're going up a kerb. Tips them back into the right position so you can tighten the straps.

No you are not housebound? This is a very strange reaction.
my daughter used to be the same.

Have you thought about making walks exciting? Maybe try small steps such as walk up the street and look out for bugs, embrace the rain, muddy puddles, cloud spotting. Walk to the local shop for a little treat. Even a few steps

Have you tried the reins / dangling method?

I do agree with @TheRealMagic. On sheer balance of probability I don't think it is likely that no one else has ever had it as hard you do - that none of us understand because you have such a uniquely challenging child. It's more likely that others just had to get their older children to school or whatever so they had to get on with it. Not everyone has the option of driving or staying home.

Mine was undiagnosed autistic at that age, delayed in both speech and understanding, a biter, sensory stuff going on that he couldn't tell us about. Very angry and frustrated little boy. Still had to do 5 miles of school runs a day from the day his older sibling started school.

As I said in my first post I do think a buggy board is worth a shot.

I do also think it might be worth a better push chair if you walk a lot.

But you will definitely find something for a lot less than a few hundred. Look on your local Facebook pages. I'd be surprised if you can't get a decent one for under £30 (it's only a stroller not a travel system) and you'll get nearly the same back if you look after it.

I had an umbrella fold one with the throwing out issue so know exactly what you mean. It's the style that can lie flat because they fling all the spare material forward. A better one did help with this part at least.

I had a good walker but I also cover distance and it was sometimes necessary. She objected less to the Brittax one with a nice big seat (it wasn't fancy but robust) and if she would only go in it standing up facing me, well it was still okay.

Sling? DS still fit in his until he was about 3.5. Definitely easier than carrying!

Reins were what I used, and I'd hoik'em up if they decided to tantrum.

Didn't always work. I vividly recall dragging one twin round Tesco while the other one nicely held onto the pram that had my screaming newborn in it. It was horrible. I ended up carrying him home like a roll of carpet under my arm.

He's a lovely boy now at 16, so don't worry, they do grow out of it!

I also think trying a new buggy might help - would she prefer to face you? Or not face you? Look on eBay and Freecycle, you should be able to get a second hand one for buttons.

Op, she sounds like my dd! My dd was an absolute bellend when it came to sitting in the buggy or walking, she once managed to fling herself so violently out of it, she turfed herself on to the snow, cold for sure, but luckily quite soft! My MIl saved the day by getting me (well dd really) a trike. It had a long handle for me to push, but peddles and a handle bar for dd. I attached various toys to the handle bar, and she loved the cup holder (no cup, just plonking things in and out of it). Could you look at borrowing or buying a second hand one to see if it would work?
My DD is an older teen now, and lovely, so her bellend toddler antics gradually reduced by 8/9 and now she’s totally fabulous, so take heart it can get better!

Try a different pushchair? Eg a bigger heavier one might be more comfortable for her and also harder for her to push over by squirming

My wee one went through phases of this. I often used a sling that was appropriate for his size. There was sometimes a wee battle to get him in but once in, he was happy. You could also look at those backpack style carriers?

I had one like this! It was an absolute nightmare trying to walk the dog. So stressful!! I’d be a hot, sweaty mess by the time we had walked anywhere. Nothing really helped, she just sort of grew out of it - never liked the pram, but as she built up decent stamina / enjoyment of a balance bike & scooter, we just used those. She was able to properly ride a bike at 3, and I’m sure that’s why! She’s 8 now, and an absolute delight.

This is an odd question from me, but did you just take into shops too like you would a pram, or leave it outside? I would love to use one but have never seen anyone take these into a busy shopping centre.

A lot of the 'just get it done' crew - myself included - probably had second+ babies by this stage. You'd be amazed how quickly that kills the desire to fuck about with toddler tantrums.

OP, I have to bribe with crackers, it works at the moment! The other thing is quick distractions, so either breaking out into song, or a quick 'look over there!' which happens to be a bird, interesting tree or a truck. It works about 50% of the time but at least its something!

Just to add that when you don't get a choice (e.g. taking them to nursery if you have to go work) it does become easier. I think they sense the urgency and your determination.

OP I can (just about) get my nearly two year old back into a buggy BUT it’s a nightmare - and he will scream solidly, can also loosen the straps shimmy himself out, and his most recent skill is undoing the button (on buggy and car seat). So 1) the energy wasted is unreal and 2) he gets straight out anyway.

so alternatives - He can scoot (about a 2 mile journey if broken up), we’ve really worked on his physical capacity (we used stickers) and deliberately went out with double time/lots extra to NOT have to lift or carry him anywhere but let him get skills, 2 I borrowed a friends buggy - with new clips - and used it somewhat as a choice/threat (walk or buggy!). Lifting up was removed as an option. Took a good few outings of him sitting in rain on the floor before he believed me. 3) he loves a trike with pedals BUT I’ve two older (still 5& under) ones and it doesn’t work for me as I simply can’t manage it them and the stuff. 4) games on the way to places - who can catch the blue car “who hoo” and making it an item by item journey.

He won’t walk on reins so we’ve worked on road safety. All of mine will stop before a curb as they know they’ll lose scooter/bike privilege use if they don’t (the 20 month old included). Massive praise for listening. I know I’m lucky but it’s also taken a lot of work/practice. Ie going on unnecessary journeys to make sure they build the skills (which working full time hasn’t exactly been what I want to do with weekends!!) but has made a big difference in six weeks and I no longer dread having to leave the house!

Hope you’ve a change soon. It’s so hard when they are that distressed and it’s miserable for everyone

A couple of options I didn't see on the first page - buggy board, we used that way longer than the buggy was needed. Also back wraps. I didn't use them myself but a friend did until her child.was four.

Switching the buggy may help. We had a second handout n about nipper that was more comfortable than the previous travel system.

One of our toddlers was like this, we just carried him everywhere until he was properly ready.
We tried many things but they didn't work except just time.

Then you are not doing up the straps properly or she's being put in an unsuitable pushchair that doesn't have a proper 5 point harness.

You need to pull the straps tighter so she's firmly strapped in - it's for her safety, for one thing.

No, she won't like it one bit, she will scream, but you are the parent here.

Yeah it’s a classic behaviour stage for toddlers, they are gaining more autonomy. Ride it out and hopefully it will pass in a few months. And pick your battles. And stay strong mamma 💪 you got this xx

She is my second 😂

I don’t think I’m trying to claim no one ever had it as hard as me; just that the first pages and a few posts since were / are utterly incredulous that I can’t get her in the pushchair which is true 🤷‍♀️ or if I do manage it I can’t safely keep her in it.

I don’t really want to drag her along the ground which is what reins would entail so I do think a sort of wait and see method is good. She did actually walk a fair bit yesterday. For the most part she’s a very good girl, just hitting a slightly more opinionated stage.

Of course sometimes you have got to do what you’ve got to do but there’s nothing to be gained from making her scream for the sake of proving a point that I am the parent. I know that, she knows that. She’s my daughter, not my adversary.

This
Im absolutely baffled that the toddler is in charge
Parents are responsible for their children's safety
Get a decent buggy and better straps
If they can slip out of the straps and whack their head on the floor , they aren't safe.
Ditto car seats

Sometimes children just have to fit in with the family
I have a terrible back , with slipped discs
Carrying wasnt an option
Strap them in firmly, distract and let them get on with it

@Fuckoffeasypeelers occasionally life happens. A couple of weeks ago, our car broke down on the way to taking DS to school. We live on a long country road with no pavements and a national speed limit. I had to walk back to the house with both children and yes, DD had to go in her pushchair. She cried, she tried to get out of it (and it took all my effort to keep the pushchair straight up; she isn’t a baby) but it was an emergency situation and of course safety came first.

But forcing that, with a screaming, crying toddler trying desperately to escape for a walk round a national trust garden, or a shopping centre, or a walk in the woods, that she won’t enjoy and I won’t enjoy and others around us won’t enjoy because hey, I’m the parent? No, thanks.

There have been some really useful suggestions here with regards to using a backpack and how to entice her in, lots of solidarity and reminders it does pass and that’s helpful but the sort of aggressive posts like above baffle me, they really do.