How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

My parents both smacked the crap out of us over the most minor thing
Slippers,hands,a stick,fists and my recorder where used-in front of whoever who was standing there
It wasn't a smack-it was a beating
I'm amazed we survived-wed go to school covered in black bruises but nobody said anything
It was just accepted as everyone was smacked
I'm now nc with my family-my mother refuses to admit she and him ever laid a finger on us

My grandad never once smacked me-it was enough when he was disappointed in me (and that took a lot)

I was born in 1978

As far as I know - and who knows what happens behind closed doors - no one was smacked other than once or twice in their entire childhood. It certainly wasn’t acceptable (I was born in the early 1960s). I think it may have been more prevalent in my parents generation (born in the 1920s) and I remember my Dad saying they used a stick for punishment at his boarding school.

I am born in 1972 and was never smacked and never even shouted at. I had never smacked my children, but I can’t say I never shouted at them. I tried not to though. My parents raised me to respect everyone no matter what age. Smacking and shouting is not respectful.

I grew up in the 90s and smacking was completely normal. A “clip round the ear” or
a “smacked bum.” Usually for things like being cheeky or generally naughty. Never hard enough to leave a mark.

Probably until the end of primary age, don’t recall it happening in my teens.

Also working class Northern family. I grew up on a council estate and we were all getting the occasional clip!

Born in the early 70's.

I remember being hit with a belt aged 3 or 4 by DF. I hadn't done the thing I was being punished for - it was my Dsis. She was a baby and had pulled the tape out of a cassette.

DM hit me so hard on the back of my head, I cracked my head open on the corner of the kitchen wall. I needed several stitches and was told to say I'd tripped up tying my shoes.

In fact DM was very slap happy with me - I have a very perfunctory relationship with my parents and sister and only on my terms.

I've never hit DD, and detest violence in any form.

Born early/mid 80s, 1 of 4 children and was never smacked. Makes me so upset to think of little kids being hit. Although understand society’s expectations have evolved so much

I was born in 1968 and we were smacked very very occasionally as children. Almost so rarely that I can remember specific times when it happened. I don't remember it hurting, or it being especially upsetting at the time, but presumably it was if it still stands out in my mind. Maybe just the shock factor.

1980s, only got smacked a very few times, I thought that was unusual and most people did get smacked if naughty.

I think there is a big difference between a quick smack of a child that is out of control, not to hurt them but enough to get their attention, and a calculated beating.

Agree.

The threat of smacking was there when I was young in the mid 90s. I think I got smacked once ever, aged before 9. Getting smacked as a teen would have been weird and if on the bare arse, would stray a bit on the side of sexual abuse in my opinion. My brother got smacked as a kid in the late 90s but that also stopped by 7 or 8.

Born in late 80s - DM smacked whenever me and my siblings misbehaved. We're from a South Asian culture and it was really really normal. As adults, we don't mind that we were smacked and acknowledge it was a cultural thing. It probably stopped when we were in our early teens. DF never hit us. DSis and I both have DC and we would never smack our kids.

growing up in the 70’s my mum says I got the occasional smack on the bottom although I have no recollection so couldn’t have done me much harm! Not that I’d advocate that now!

I wouldn't defend smacking but it's more understandable if you think of the days kids were supervised a lot less and expected to follow rules without being watched. Short sharp discipline rather than a constant drip drip.

I've never hit my kids but I sometimes wish I had something of extra force when they really cross the line - not hitting but stronger than telling off, screen bans etc.

I wonder if kids will one day be free to roam again, and if that will change discipline style.

No you don’t have to be the better person here. I’m sorry you had a mother like that. You don’t owe her anything now.

Oh and as a pp has said, it DID do me harm, it DID do me damage, and it truly was very painful and humiliating.

I grew up in a deprived northern town in the eighties, a smack across the legs was commonplace and happened probably weekly to me and I’m aware it also happened regularly to my friends. When I got older it switched to being a clip round ear and was less common. It stopped around 18.
When I had my dd in 2000 it was less acceptable to hit, it was seen more as a last resort /worst case scenario and it shouldn’t leave a mark . By the time I had my son in 2012 it was no longer acceptable to hit.

I grew up in the 70s and it was entirely commonplace then. My dad never laid a finger on us but mum smacked us fairly regularly (with her hand) around primary school age. Looking back as a parent, it was always her temper and not our behaviour, we were too scared to say boo to a goose. A real standout moment and the last time I can recall was when I was about 12 or 13 and she slapped me hard round the face for something trivial. I hated her for that.

She has told me more than once that she recognises that I make a concerted effort to parent completely differently to her, and admires me for it. Praise indeed. I have never smacked my children and genuinely only shouted at them about 3 or 4 times. In direct response to childhood memories of endlessly being shouted at for no reason. We were so good, too scared to be anything else! Makes me sad to look back on.

In primary school (late 70s/early 80s), it was common for older teachers to smack unruly kids. Looking back now, there were many times that kids who were clearly SEN were hit, sometimes really violently by teachers with terrible tempers. In secondary school, loads of yelling and board rubbers/keys etc thrown at pupils, but no hitting that I can recall.

It took me years to be able to acknowledge a mistake as adult. Even at work I would cover up/ lie because that’s what I’d always done.

Born in 1994 and was routinely caned and smacked as well as hit round the ears by my dad until I was 17 and we managed to leave him and move house.

We had the wooden spoon !
Dad made us put out the back of our hands over the kitchen table and 3/4/6 hard wallops depending on how naughty we’d been with the wooden spoon.
Most of the wooden spoons I’m the house were consequently broken in half down the middle as me and my brother would snatch our hand away at the last minute and it would hit the table hard and break. Looking back it must have been quite a wallop !

In the 70s I was slapped round the leg by Mum and Dad, sometimes”clipped round the ear” by Dad and for serious misbehaviour had “a good hiding” from Dad which was bare bottom over knee. I was ery well behaved at school but I remember knowing that headteacher at primary gave the slipper and at secondary it was “the cuts” - cane on the hand.
I never hit my own children (90s) but remember my step children being slapped on the leg by my ex in the 80s.

I did one term at a middle school in the midlands in 1980 when I was eight years old. (Queens Road middle school in Nuneaton.) We had to race in to our classrooms, grab our hymn books and then race to assembly. If any of the older kids forget their hymn book they'd have to go up on stage and be walloped. I was absolutely petrified and bit all the skin off my fingers I was so stressed. Luckily my parents moved me to a much nicer school where we sang nice children's hymns from an overhead projector.

I was born in the early 90s and I was smacked as much as you describe. About half of my friends were smacked I'd say - a good amount weren't.

I was born in 75, I was regularly smacked. The only time that sticks in my head is being slapped round the face when I was about seven or so, because I was being smacked, put my arm up to shield myself and was accused of going to hit her back. It was the unfairness of it that made me cry, because I never would have dared hit back in a billion years. And then my father told me I had to apologise, even though he told me he believed me. I was so indignant about that. And she still doesn’t believe me. I think smacking probably stopped around 12 or 13.

I think it was pretty standard. A couple of my friend’s dads hit them with belts, one used a slipper, so I got off quite lightly in comparison. I didn’t feel humiliated about it. I’m sure it hurt at the time but I don’t remember it. And I don’t think it did me any harm. It was just something that all parents did. Although I am still very pissed off about the unwarranted face slap.

I don’t smack because I find it unnecessary.

Born in the 60s, being smacked was very common. School teacher would smack you on the hand with a big wooden ruler in the classroom for minor issues, you’d go to the head teacher for the cane for anything considered major. Chalk or board rubber thrown at you if you weren’t paying attention. My dad never laid a finger on me but my mum smacked me well into my teens. It was often across the face and really hurt. The oldest she hit me was when I was 30. I told her she’d better not do it again or I’d hit her back. She hasn’t hit me since.

Friends talked about being hit with the wooden spoon or belt at home. At least my mum only used her fists.

I think there’s a difference between smacking and beating someone up. It’s ok to smack in my opinion if necessary but not lose control