Caroline Flack - she was so let down

[Newyearnewmewoooop]

Just watched the documentary, it’s so sad. She was treated so awfully by the press and police.

I feel so bad for her mum and friends and family 😢

You're right! She'd have been back on the telephone within weeks 🙄

if a poster comes on here and says my partner has cut himself and threatened suicide all the replies are hes abusing you and being manipulative

why is it any different because its a woman-yes she had mh problems so do i but i dont threaten suicide and hit people

Thing I remember about Ms Flack was the 'be kind' social media campaign after. Everyone to be kind to each other.

Then covid hit right after. 'Fuck that' said the UK while it reached to fill their shopping trolleys with every scrap of food and toilet roll they could, despite not needing it. You couldn't make it up.

Okay. Yes, her mother is doing this.

But the immediately after it became know what Caroline had done (hit her boyfriend with a phone) the news was huge and the criticisms were great in number and noise.

Male celebrities don’t get the same volume of attention for hitting women - unfortunately. Maybe if they did - it might lead to there being a lot less men abusing, and actually killing, women.

Seems some people find it more excusable if it’s committed by a woman.

It isn’t. Any domestic abuse is abhorrent.

I watched the documentary.

It appears that assaulting him while he slept became the pertinent aspect, ie she didn't have any 'excuse' for using violence against him (no fear, self defence etc).

I think the press melee that followed was entirely down to her being a celebrity, and much of it was awful. However I don't think the charge was anything to do with her being a celebrity - my thinking, having watched both parts, is that it was the correct decision not to drop the case.

I think that's where I struggle too

Famous man strikes woman still wins awards life continues still gets work maybe gets a brief condemnation in the news quickly gets dropped

Woman strikes man they pursue it like a hungry dog after a BONE it was disproportionate

But obviously DV is always unacceptable so why do I struggle with how the press reacted? I think its still a double standard women are held to a greater standard than men

I feel very sorry for her mother, to lose a child at any age is devastating . At the time I can remember thinking that what she did was reprehensible as relationship violence is wrong I haven't watched the documentary yet so haven't got anything else to add.

Well we simply don't know if it would have calmed down and she would have rehabilitated herself because there was only about 10 weeks between the DV and her death.

Many celebrities - men and women have done it with a stint in the Priory and some time out of the limelight. It's a shame that this didn't happen for her - she clearly needed inpatient care.

But I don't think we can just say that women/celebrities who commit DV should not be prosecuted.

I wonder if this could be Caroline’s mum, honestly.

Yes, that was weird. A touch of the Paula Yates there given that she seems to have been drawn to rock stars - a bit like a sophisticated groupie.

Yes he did- he had a mark on his head. This was shown in the documentary. From most of your comments, I think you must have watched something different to the rest of us!

Gosh, I think I must have watched a different documentary given the responses on here. It's undisputed that she did wrong, she was physically abusive and I don't think anyone can argue with that. But the whole theme of the documentary was that she was treated differently due to her celebrity status. The majority of first time domestic abuse cases are given a caution. She was charged and prosecuted. Massive difference.

100% it's like everyone, including her mum, has forgotten the C4(?) documentary made by her mum and twin sister a year after she died saying she started attempting suicide in her teens.
Then them saying that they basically expected every phonecall since then was going to tell them that she'd succeeded in killing herself. I'm not saying that they were responsible for her death, but she was obviously mentally ill and hugely attention-seeking for most of her life. As her nearest and dearest did they not have a duty of care for her?

Absolutely.. we name airports after abusive men

Is it her mum??

The person I know who posted the "Be kind" meme prolifically on FB was someone who I thought was my friend but when I ended up in the same place as her just after I had been in a car crash she could see me crying and just ignored me because she was having fun with some other friends.

It also later came out that she had repeatedly cheated on her husband behind her back.

It was a trite and meaningless meme. That's all

She was desperate to be famous, most people like that aren't that stable to begin with.

I totally agree, the mum, solicitor and friend were basically trying to play down the fact that she hit him hard enough with her phone to draw blood (you were right on this, her friend said 'he was bleeding' after she had hit him, I think it was just the bloodbath afterwards that there was confusion over after she self-harmed, but she DID hit him hard enough to bleed!) I felt like they had tried to gaslight the audience the whole time.
And the the solicitor said it was unheard of for the victim to withdraw from the process....🙄

The solicitor said it was unheard of for a domestic abuse victim to not support prosecution?

How can someone involved in the system claim that with a straight face. Half of victims in rape or offended against the person cases withdraw (https://victimscommissioner.org.uk/news/one-in-four-cases-victims-withdraw-support-for-prosecution/ - I know the text for the link says 1 in 4 but that’s total, it more for assault)

Exactly! I can't remember the exact wording, but it was something to that effect. Very disappointed that Disney would promote abusers and feed the stereotypes of victims in this way tbh.

Really not comfortable with serious mental health problems from childhood being characterised as “attention seeking”.

It was stated in that documentary that Caroline was known to have mental health problems from when she was very young especially when relationships broke down which to me as an untrained person sounds like bpd.

Her mum explained at length in that documentary that Caroline did seek support for her mh, but despite her struggles, she was resistant to formal diagnosis and treatment because she was afraid of the information becoming public and being "known for that" and given the toxic press coverage she received, you can understand this to a degree.

It’s all very well to blame her mum but mh issues were not picked up at school in those days the same way they are today, and her family did always try to support Caroline to seek help once her issues became apparent, but once they are eighteen, you can do very little without the patient’s consent. It’s not always so easy as many parents on Mumsnet know.

Violence is always unacceptable but there seems to be an ongoing narrative on sm that serious mh illness offers no mitigation whatsoever but nonetheless people who suffer from these serious conditions don’t ask to have them! Mental illness symptoms that accompany bpd, schizophrenia, bipolar, all of which can lead to impulsivity and disregulation of mood, can start to manifest themselves during adolescence and it’s not that person’s fault!

Her own solicitor said in the documentary that she caused his head to bleed. I have bumped my head plenty of times throughout my life and never once have I done so hard enough for it to bleed.

It is true that the vast majority of the blood was her own, because she injured herself after injuring him, which in itself is an incredibly toxic behaviour.

She admitted guilt over and over in her police interview, yet plead not guilty, knowing that would lead to a trial. The documentary does not provide an explanation of why she pled not guilty.

It’s a terrible shame that she decided to take her own life but she was an imperfect person (as we all are) who did not have the support she needed. That is not the fault of the press nor the police/CPS.

If someone whacked me round the head with their phone and caused my head to bleed I would want them to be prosecuted. The fact that it happened within a domestic setting only heightens its severity.

She could have stepped away from the limelight and got a normal job where the press wouldn't be interested. I've got very little sympathy for people who seek fame and then complain about press coverage when it's less favourable.

Yes.