Humour me please! You're on dragons den in a weeks time. What are you bringing to the panel?

[matthewMATTHEW]

Light hearted thread! I'm in hospital and bored out of my mind.

you have to go on dragons den, in a weeks time to either pitch a business model or invention. What are you going to pitch? Doesn't have to be completely realistic as I doubt mine would be possible due to legalities but I think it's a good idea 🤣

ill go first:
im going to offer a business model which customers pay a monthly rolling direct debit to my company named TyredButCovered.
the direct debit price is set at the value of the car with various add ons if needed, like multiple vehicle policies, windscreen cover and a monthly full valet at your home or work place. The direct debit will cover all tax, insurance, MOT, services and tyre change. Essentially I will do everything for you so you do not need to worry about anything else aside putting fuel in the car.

What are you bringing to the dragons? As big or as small and simple as you like

A company that hires out people to give you a kick up the arse when you need it but be there to talk to when you are lonely or want another perspective ( mn is great but can't answer all my questions )
They would also tell me to go to bed instead of listening to another chapter of my book
Remind me what to add to the shopping list

90% of the time I love living alone but sometimes . . . . 😳

A removals company that also does the "sort your life out' cull between packing up the old place and taking you to the new one 😂

It sounds like a lease vehicle would cover most of your wants @matthewMATTHEW

Biodegradable gowns, shoulder protectors and hair covers for hairdressers to use on clients who are having chemical treatments such as perms. Apparently they don’t exist. My hairdresser ends up using ripped up compost bin liners, because he doesn’t want to buy yet more single-use plastic. Seems like a massive gap in the market!

I need that, @heartofsunshine! but without moving house 😂

Im inventing something that stops your hair from growing. Do you think i will get investment?

im going to offer a business model which customers pay a monthly rolling direct debit to my company named TyredButCovered.
the direct debit price is set at the value of the car with various add ons if needed, like multiple vehicle policies, windscreen cover and a monthly full valet at your home or work place. The direct debit will cover all tax, insurance, MOT, services and tyre change. Essentially I will do everything for you so you do not need to worry about anything else aside putting fuel in the car

You do know this already exists costs right? I have this and it even covers the cost of the fuel (which I pay via a card, so not directly out of my own funds). I do have to pump myself though😊. Even better, the money is debited from my salary pre-tax.

I would make a multi-function home butler robot. It would cook and clean everything and also do life admin. I already have a robot vacuum/mop but I mean a C3PO style one that does showers and everything. I would want it muted though so I could give instructions but it not talk back. I didn’t like the gibberish CP3O carried on with, wouldn’t be wanting any of that.

An app that can play back weird dreams to you so you can see what that was all about. Or is it just me that wakes up and thinks what the heck did I just dream?

What happens when the hair that you have gets all old, crispy and falls out - if there's never any new hair to replace it?!

@AllTheChaos yes, me too, I have considered moving just to make me sort the shit tip that is my home out!

Ehhhh does it?! I need this!

do you still own your vehicle though? That's the only downside to a lease is huge payments and no cars at the end. Would be so interested though if something like this is available!

A bit like @MabelEstherAllen I always thought that a biodegradable school polo shirts could work! On a massive roll, you just rip one off each morning and put it on your grubby child!

Alternatively, a costume hire franchise based business that specialises in world book day/dress like a Roman/Egyptian/evacuee/WWII soldier costumes.

An app for online shoe retailers where you can scan your feet with the phone camera and it then identifies and selects which (if any) of the shoes on sale will fit properly. I have so many pairs of shoes that almost fit 😭😭😭

A bit like @MabelEstherAllen I always thought that a biodegradable school polo shirts could work! On a massive roll, you just rip one off each morning and put it on your grubby child!

Brilliant!! 😄

A one-stop shop that expands upon 'Tell Us Once' and does all of the heavy lifting when dealing with bereavement administration, including funeral arrangements, probate and will-related activities.

do you still own your vehicle though? That's the only downside to a lease is huge payments and no cars at the end. Would be so interested though if something like this is available!

Do you mean is it in my name? If so, yes. Always been the case with this. I also don’t understand about ‘and no cars at the end’. At the end you either pay the agreed price it would be worth to finish paying off, or you arrange for it to be sold. I’ve always made a good profit. So, using round numbers for sake of ease, let’s say, at end of term if I wanted to buy it out, I need to pay 10K as the agreed figure. I don’t want to pay it out and keep it (as I want a new one), so I take the ‘sell’ option. I have a choice to sell privately or go through the lease company to sell. I always go through lease company and get them to do it on my behalf, and usually achieve 20K in that situation. So, the lease company automatically takes the 10K and gives me the additional 10K (they charge no commission, I guess they just want to be assured of getting their 10aK?). Plus, a nice new car so I start it all over again.

We buy out DH’s car’s though at end of term, and they get recycled into a ‘pool’ for the kids to use.

An app that lets me talk to my dog. I have a broken foot and can’t take him out first thing for a lovely long walk and he is A Very Sad Boy Indeed.
He does the same walks with a dog walker in case anyone is worried about his welfare!

@Thehorticuluralhussie hsvr you seen those buttons people use to communicate with cats? Maybe they would work with dogs, too?

I love you and I am backing your company.

Mine is eye drops that form a gel over the eyeball creating perfect 20 20 vision.
Given that most eye problems are to do with the shape of the eye being malformed, I don't know why this hasn't already been invented. Contact lenses are imperfect, uncomfortable, cause hygiene issues, fall out, get caught in the wrong part of your eye. But this gel would just set. If it ever wore away you just add another drop and it reforms into the perfectly shaped lens.

I invented these in childhood, before contact lenses even existed. Toric lenses are the closest so far.

A rental service for jigsaws ,board games for hospital patients so they are not too bored. That would help you OP at the moment. I wish you a quick recovery by the way.

We have this at our hospital, they deliver - it's an amazing group of older women who arrange it, I donated loads when DC grew out of them

Sort out your home life coach.

In my mind they would be able to help you clean and declutter your house, create routines, giving 'adulting' advice on how to do stuff if needed.

They would be able to give motivation and support, helping to to set and achieve goals, whilst showing you how to whip up home cooked food.

Different levels of service, depending on whether you need a gentle coaching/motivation approach, to full on teaching you how to do everything!

They are of course fully trained counsellors, and financially competent.

It would be non judgemental, in person...

Basically someone who could come in and help you sort your life.

Edited to Add: DD said it sounds like an adult Nanny service 😆

This would be SO helpful. The admin involved in the aftermath of death is one of the most stressful things ever - and no one knows what to do. No one tells you. You just have to muddle through it all, in the midst of grief.

I had a friend who literally hired a PA to do exactly this. Friend has ADHD and chronic procrastination. All went well for a couple of months, then the PA seemed to catch her procrastination and started avoiding coming into work and getting all vague and hopeless!