Humour me please! You're on dragons den in a weeks time. What are you bringing to the panel?

[matthewMATTHEW]

Light hearted thread! I'm in hospital and bored out of my mind.

you have to go on dragons den, in a weeks time to either pitch a business model or invention. What are you going to pitch? Doesn't have to be completely realistic as I doubt mine would be possible due to legalities but I think it's a good idea 🤣

ill go first:
im going to offer a business model which customers pay a monthly rolling direct debit to my company named TyredButCovered.
the direct debit price is set at the value of the car with various add ons if needed, like multiple vehicle policies, windscreen cover and a monthly full valet at your home or work place. The direct debit will cover all tax, insurance, MOT, services and tyre change. Essentially I will do everything for you so you do not need to worry about anything else aside putting fuel in the car.

What are you bringing to the dragons? As big or as small and simple as you like

I would LOVE to bring something that links your pension to your national insurance number so it just moves from job to job with you instead of having to start a new one each time/make calls to combine them.

I feel like pension just feel so confusing and I'd love to simplify them somehow.

A plan for installing solar panel awnings over the top of all outdoor car parks, which will not only be able to charge electric vehicles while they are parked there, they will also be able to feed excess electricity into the National Grid. Oh yes, and because your car is parked in the shade, it doesn't get boiling hot inside during summer.

Actually - another idea has just occurred to me. Solar panels on the roof of electric cars, and a small wind turbine just inside the radiator grille.

I was thinking about exactly this kind of issue the other day. I think there should be a trained, dbs checked, team as well, including a "night watch" who can attend and help people in person. My mum has called out neighbours twice (via her alarm button) now when she has fallen, luckily only once in the night (and before midnight) . One came to wait with her for the ambulance , the other helped her up, and back to bed. But her neighbours are not young themselves and I worry about the pressure on them. I know some areas have this provision that come before an ambulance is called but the private sector might fill this gap (and tbh ought to charge the ambulance service for every 999 call averted)

But perhaps they could also be carer trained, to eg deal with random toileting mishaps, kitchen messes etc?

All sounds like a great investment to support people to stay in their homes!

I've always wanted a discreet ankle band that makes a tiny vibration periodically in a northerly direction. The aim is to gradually be able to tell which way I'm facing. You could also program in where you're going and it buzzes in the right direction every time you need to go round a corner.

A device to warm up dumbbells and other gym equipment on cold mornings.
Oh, and a female specific gym bench with a cut out to stop your boobs getting crushed when you do chest supported rows.
A bit niche maybe.

I know it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but a universal Face ID system that can be used everywhere. No more PIN numbers, passwords, verification codes, debit cards, passports, driving licenses….. just use your face.

A remote control that lowers the volume of people on public transport.

A company that provides training in how to clean, maintain and organise a house including bill paying, deep cleaning and basic maintenance

It’s not exactly groundbreaking and several companies could put it place tomorrow but branches of Boots in railways stations and airports selling nappies in mini packs of 5 or so would be amazing (maybe with a mini pack of wipes included). I’m on the move, I’ve run short and I don’t need a big pack of 32 nappies and 65 wipes to cart along with me, just a couple will do until I get home! I can’t understand why it’s not already a thing. Likewise sanpro / condom machines in toilets that dispense a single nappy and 5 wipes.

These already exist! https://pashionfootwear.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoo0egLlH09sJnyeFDzMoQiqor_eAwkfIURXnmLkoH6MMRG3slSm

An theatre app that allow you to meet up with other solo theatre attenders at the same show/same theatre in the bar at the interval to have a chat about the production and arrange to go for a quick drink at a nearby bar for the same purpose.

Theatre Tinder but without the dating. So nothing like Tinder at all except it would show whether other solo app users were there in the same theatre and where to meet. Not for dating just for chat. Would expect demographic to be 100% women.

A Robovac/Tamagotchi crossover that feeds on dirt and evolves in accordance with how frequently and effectively you let it out to graze.

The top surface is an animated graphic of the beast that you create. Negative points for failing to lay out your home in a way that protects the creature from bumping into things. Negative points also for too many yarn and cotton threads or excessive dog hair. Positive points for a regular feeding/exercise schedule and a good supply of shedded human skin.

Too many negative points creates a monster that will eat all your power cables and scare the dog. Positive points create an evolved entity that will also do your ironing.

This is prob already and thing but door front for internal doors so you can change up your doors without changing your doors.

So a thin thin panel that would just stick on somehow.

Has been invented, and even installed, but not used due to cost. Unfortunately. Great idea though!

And also has a skip intro/fast-forward button for use on people who take an absolute age to get around to the point of what they actually have to tell you.

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I've seen these solar shades abroad - Sweden and Italy I think, and I've no doubt they exist elsewhere. Brilliant idea anyway.

I’d invest in this. So satisfying to tell them what an arse they are with a jaunty tune.

An app that filters out social media content that you don’t want to see. In my case it would be anything to do with babies/children.

Oh gosh yes this. A colleague of mine makes the sloth in Zootropolis look like Usain Bolt. Just get to the point for goodness sake

Like this Friends - Monica's barbershop quartet to her ex-bf

This exists! Search for "Clear flavour drops" and prepare to hydrate that child!

I'm going on to ask for £100k for 10 percent of my business, DoggyShock (TM). It's a range of outdoor clothing and accessories for adults and kids that gives a mild, harmless but alarming electric shock to any dog that makes contact with the clothing, but is undetectable to humans. The trousers are also reinforced with two layers of thin, bite proof steel. The range has been designed following extensive testing.
Deborah and Steven are dog lovers so they won't invest but I think Touker could double my net profit if I can use his factory in China, and probably give me some office space too.

Omg I need this!

Was there a Jack Black film about a similar invention - or did I dream that?