We are chronic over caterers who love hosting and are aware that nowadays our appetites are much diminished.
In @stringsoup’s shoes, I would have been really hurt by hosting a guest who visited for their own convenience, didn’t say anything about being hungry at the time and then appears to have complained afterwards to the hosts sister.
There are so many ways that a guest can indicate that they would like more, without actually having to ask if they feel unable to ask outright. Especially when they have been invited to help themselves. They could have shown exceptional enthusiasm for the food cleared their plate and looked expectant. Or offered OP the serving dish then if declined have helped themselves or even asked whether it would have been ok to help themselves. Loads of possible indicators, and of which I’m sure OP would have picked up the hint immediately.
just good manners indicate that you give someone a chance to rectify any ‘mistake’ before complaining to someone else.
The only circumstance in which I could understand this happening, is quite ‘niche’ and which I have never forgotten although it was not quite the same and only ever happened once.
My DSis is known as a brilliant cook who loves to cook and entertain, as I see it wears herself out making things tailored for guests esp her son and would never expect anyone to ‘lift a finger’ in her home. Makes me tired just thinking about it, my love of hosting is much more hands off, we will usually have at least one main meal a day out when hosting people and seldom agree to hosting for more than ‘one overnight’ at a time.
one one occasion, when I had arranged what I thought was quite a special event , fully catered day out including activities which I knew to be popular, my DSis the brilliant cook was glad to hear from me that I had appreciated the thank you notes esp from the more junior members of the family. She then smugly mentioned that her DSon (the only part of the family to forget to send thanks) had told her that not of it was any match for her Sunday roast.
I smiled and pitied her vanity.
is it possible that something similar is happening here? Is your DSister a tad jealous of your hosting one of her children who have pacified her by saying they were ‘starving’ throughout?
Rising above such pettiness is, I promise you, such a great feeling and wipes out all the sting of ingratitude.
I