Guest says I starved her <shock>

[stringsoup]

Had a relative to stay for a few days, she just wanted to eat all time which we did not expect. I had cooked and baked which she ate (way more than us) then she said she wanted to get up in the night as she was so hungry!

However hungry she was, she is ungrateful and rude. It is so easy to order something online and have it delivered to the door (such as a supermarket shop) and she could have just said, "I think I am eating you out of house and home, so I wanted to put my hand in my pocket and buy a grocery order for both of us!"

Equally, she has legs. she could have gone to town and eaten there as well or shopped and brought yummy gifts home. Not everyone is up to catering for a big eater, and she is probably a snacker! She is rude and you have done nothing wrong.

Yeah, I thought so too. I'm a smaller appetite person these days. Not in a Mumsnet performance undereating way just in an 'I'm getting old and can't do it anymore' way. 😁

No. I have a healthy appetite and friends and family who know how to host.

Definitely rude to say that!

The food sounded quite white carb heavy, I wouldn't be able to eat much of that before feeling full, but wouldn't be full for long. But when you go to stay with other people you kind of accept it won't be your normal diet, or you bring things along as "treats to share" like we do when we see PIL. MIL eats like a bird and FIL just won't spend money, so there's never enough food for all the adults plus 2 teenage boys!

Agree

She couldn’t have been that starving if she wants to come back.

I honestly think that sounds like more than enough, no way should she be starved or even slightly peckish!
(For context I’m size 16 and love my food, not your “full after a couple of bites of an apple” type).

I solved this years ago. When I have guests I use the slow cooker and or hot trays (think mini carvery 😅) Slow cooker always holds a stew or curry or bolognese. If hot trays I'm doing a roast or similar. Everyone helps themselves so no one feels overloaded or hungry either way. Leftovers are never wasted as I always ensure what I cook can be frozen for a later date. Everyone loves this and appreciates the lack of pressure to eat an overloaded plate, or, no issue if they want more! I also never have to stand there like a school dinner server asking who wants what, how much or if they don't like this or that...!

I need protein to feel full. A carbs breakfast like cereal leaves me ravenous an hour later, but eggs or yoghurt with berries is fine.
Soup again needs to have a decent chunk of something in it to feel full - proper chicken or lentils or something. Just a typical tomato soup from a tin won’t fill me up.
same with carby snacks like scones, biscuits - can guarantee my blood sugar goes on a rollercoaster and want more in an hour.

next time focus on filling her up with protein - or tell the cheeky biatch to bring her own or order a takeaway!

Maybe they were expecting the visit to be an opportunity to fuel up and were disappointed.

So lunch was only soup??

Breakfast was cereal or toast??

What did you actually bake??

I take back what I wrote.

That is far too much food for me. She was feeding her face all freaking day!!

Is she overweight?

Honestly op I can’t even RTET.

first I find it interesting how people
are accusing you of lying about what you served.

second your cousin is ungrateful at best Shit stirring and complaining about your hosting behind your back to your sister! I would absolutely discuss this with her. Not aggressively not mean but direct. People talk about me after I hosted them they better own their words and be able to explain what they meant .

you made plenty of food. You offered an open refrigerator pantry. You are not a servant

you are not a chef running a restaurant
with endless hot meals? I mean seriously aren’t you so very very annoyed to have her gossiping about you behind your back to your sister???

if she does this again no more hosting unless you want to be a martyr and doormat while spending all your money and energy

no one eats food in my bedrooms ever. Food is consumed in kitchen or dining room. I’m lucky enough to have both. Bullshit catering for her in both the kitchen and the bedroom. That’s called room service and is not on offer in your home

You've just reminded me of a time when DH and I were students and were invited round for dinner to a fellow-student's houseshare. She gave us homemade bread and soup, and when we'd finished, offered second helpings.

'Oh, no,' DH said, 'I'll save my appetite for the main course.'

Dead silence. What he had thought was a substantial starter was the whole meal.

People's ideas of 'normal' differ a lot when it comes to food.

Do you mean because there is soup as well as bread, cheese and salami for lunch? Am presuming the curry / spag bol etc come with rice / pasta. And clearly there is bread available. Really not sure how this is “liquid based”??

Point her in the direction of the local b&b or premier inn!!!

Your food sounds lovely, and I'm surprised anyone is defending her being rude to you. If she has an unusually large appetite she could have brought some snacks of her own rather than completely relying on your catering

You need to read the OP's updates. She has provided loads of food.

Twice what I eat in a day!

Is she overweight ?

Oh come on - read!

It's not complicated- it's soup with cheese, bread, salami etc.

Wow, that sounds like quite a bit of food for one day! I don't think you have anything to apologise for.

This thread is really showing up the people who see a thread clearly marked as having 320 replies but ignore that, replying only to the OP. In an ideal world the OP might contain all relevant information, but we don't live in an ideal world, so it makes sense to look at all the OP's subsequent posts, at a minimum. It also seems a bit obvious that by this stage in a thread just about everything that could be said already has.

However, that's Mumsnet for you.

Thank you @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g It all feels a little surreal
I didn't want to expose every tiny detail in the OP for fear of boring everyone but clearly I should have
Anyway it's Friday evening so I'm off to make dinner- jst don't ask me what it is 😅

If you served Bridget Jones string soup then your guest might have a point 😂

I can't bear a mean table and tend to over cater for guests, but your offering sounds more than ample, OP, and I can't believe someone called it a "bird's menu"

And then some wonder why we have an obesity crisis ...