Feeling so sad about kids Christmas lists

[drivinmecrazy]

Normally our kids (not so much kids than young adults) would ask for the moon on a stick and we’d strive to produce that and a perfect Christmas.

this year, like many, has been tougher than most.

so I’ve given them a £200 budget, or there about.

they seem quite ok with that but I’m feeling really mean yet I don’t know why.

For context they are 20 & 24.

help me to feel better about this please.

we could indulge them more but luckily they’re not in need or want of big ticket items this year so it would seem a waste. If they were we’d obviously stretch for that.

one DD has her birthday just before Christmas so her birthday budget will remain unchanged obviously.

still can’t help but feeling a little bit miserly cos we could stretch things.

I guess I’m remembering their huge piles on Christmas Day when they were little but it’s so not the same 😞

200 pounds is a massive budget 🤦‍♀️

I think £200.00 is fine for your grown up children.I am in a Similar situation,my Daughter is 31. Money is a bit tight as I do not have my state pension untill early next year.I usually buy,Bath gels,Make up bags,that kind of gift.She earns a decent salary,so I am struggling to find gifts she would like? She & her partner like Meals out, Cosmetics, travel.I think I will buy gift cards.I am old fashioned,I need something I can wrap for the Christmas tree.It will need to be something like perfume & indulgent chocolates.I think Men,can be tricky to buy for,our Son has only ever wanted X box games & expensive trainers!

Essentially, you're upset about giving them what they want instead of what you want.

You've missed the whole point of gift giving.

This is so tone deaf, my parents spend £30 on their adult children at Christmas because that's what they can afford, it's not 'miserly' to spend £200 ffs

£200 is a big budget especially for an adult. You can get all sorts for that.

We stopped buying our adult children presents and vice versa. We book a weekend away in a lovely 5* hotel instead.

Seriously !! I feel like this post is a joke- I thought u were going to say like 12 & 13 . You should feel bad for treating them like kids - I know people who are married at that age with kids and a house

My mum is like you with all that tat in order to give as many presents as possible. It’s horrible and does make us all dread seeing her over Christmas which is terrible.

One year on the drive back from seeing her I stopped at the charity shop and donated the entire box of gifts she had bought me, DH, DS and DD. She must have spent at least £400 but in an effort to buy as many presents as possible it was all just tat that none of us would use. Complete wasted of time and money and made us all feel quite rubbish and guilty.

Pretty sure those things aren’t mutually exclusive. Turning 18 doesn’t suddenly require you to become a dullard.

I think I’ve only ever spent that much on my kids in years when they got bikes or play stations.

totally reverse boasting - and your ‘kids’ are grown adults

Two years after having my child... me too 😆

Dullard? Enough.

It’s now embarrassing.

I don't think any child should turn 18 and suddenly not want ANYthing that they've enjoyed in their childhood/early teens, (eg Disney or gaming stuff) but the gifts the OP mentioned that she buys for her 20-something adult DC do sound more like gifts you'd buy for a child of around 13.

Jellycat! For an adult? Seems a bit babyish IMO. Lego... Well, I know some adults enjoy lego kits (like ones that make a bunch of flowers or a cat or something,) but many lego kits are aimed at children. And pyjamas isn't babyish, or a pandora charm really... But the lego and jellycat and pyjamas and pandora charm all combined does scream '13 years old' a little bit. It's not creepy though, but it does seem like a collection of gifts for a young teen.

Time for Hector that's a bit harsh of you!

Ha ha!! So true!

"I only have a few hundred to give my adult kids". Spare me.

Hang on whilst I look for the world’s smallest violin.

If you have the budget what about buying and wrapping some gifts for a foodbank or the dunelm christmas tree thing? That might help you feel as though you have still bought and wrapped presents but they are going to a family in need instead

They are adults. Just buy them one gift or give them some money. They don't need a pile of gifts.
I hate this about Christmas ... people feeling they have to spend a load of dosh.
One gift ... end of.

I despair of the waste at Xmas. Stuff for the sake of stuff. £200 is loads. Buy them something meaningful that will last.

How terribly sad and materialistic. I always think it’s so crass to value ‘a large pile of presents.

Perhaps you need to look at what underlies that materialistic need? How about you bin the £200 an adult this year and take them to the soup kitchen instead on Christmas Day and teach them how to give rather than take?

I totally understand what you are saying op. The excitement is no longer there and it looks a little sadder under the tree! The Christmases when they were young were pure magic and now they aren't. Maybe donate some toys to a charity for children who won't have much this year? Xx

I agree with others. Spending £200 each on adult offspring is ridiculous unless you’re wealthy and you really want too.

Or a life!

This ^

Are you for real? My mum got me some slippers and a bottle of cheap Prosecco for Christmas from when I was 18. I’m now 28 and that’s the standard every year and I’m grateful for it. What on earth do you mean your 24 year old is ok with “only” having £200 spent on them for Christmas??