What are you up to today if you have chronic illness? Thread 3

[MewithME]

Link to last thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5406424-what-are-you-up-to-today-if-you-have-chronic-illness-part-2

Can't believe we filled another one.

Ah, don't worry, I am also struggling with replying to the correct people, have just cancelled seeing MIL today and going to do something for myself instead. (she does meet with others so not just leaving her in the 'lurch'.

Sounds similar with the negativity to the other MIL to be honest. It's tiring. And I don't have the energy. Especially with the course starting etc.

You need an expensive holiday @FurForksSake then you will be jet washing your nethers with the best of them!

Morning all, love a random post day and how we’ve gone from meals to toilets in a few posts! Thats kind of how my brain works tbh so no wonder I feel at home on this thread unlike the rest of mumsnet!

Hope you can all have manageable days. Still in a crash here and pain isn’t great. I was hoping today would be easier but not yet,

DH has taken DD to school and has a few errands to run but made me a cuppa so I could stay put. Just been downstairs for all of 5 mins to let the dog out and managed to empty the dishwasher before needing to lie down again so gave up and came back upstairs.

Got my DS (adult) coming down at the weekend as for a visit so I have to rest, rest, rest so I can enjoy seeing him.

Once she was safely departed we could enjoy her little foibles and opinions but at the time it was very depressing.

Did you know bottle feeding is more convenient "because you can always take a bottle with you" ? I also had the wrong sex baby, because "the first one should be a boy" numerous other things.....Smile and nod, smile and nod!

Glad you cancelled your MIL today @Orangesandlemons77
I totally get what you mean about needing to conserve your energy. She sounds similar to my MIL actually. I can mostly cope with her but only in small doses these days as I find she just saps my energy with the constant negativity. I find I’m trying so hard to counteract it and be positive and then that’s exhausting!

@TodayIsatrickyone I find emptying the dishwasher so tiring! All that standing and bending. There is no easy solution. I found one dishwasher where the bottom rack can rise up to the level of the top rack, but on reading all the reviews I saw that the return spring is very heavy when you push it down. My neck would just seize up.

It will be nice to see your DS.

@TeaAndStrumpets yes I can’t wait to give him a hug! He’s coming down to go to a rugby game with his dad so will be a quick visit but he’ll be here longer at Xmas which will be nice. DD misses him so be nice for her too.

Yes I was perhaps pushing it today with the dishwasher! I often do half and then DH will finish it so I expect he’ll grumble at me for not ignoring it when he comes back. He’s pretty tired himself just now and has a lot on this week so I’m trying to help where I can.

What is it with all these MILs they sound like one and the same person! Was there something in the water the years they were born perhaps.

"I find I’m trying so hard to counteract it and be positive and then that’s exhausting!" Same here

I try and talk about things like the weather or stuff on TV but that is exhausting as well, in a way. Yes once a week is quite enough. We can read the star signs in the paper and go for a quick coffee (talking about things out the window for example) and do a bit of shopping.

I wish we had a dishwasher, it is a pet peeve of mine that we don't. Maybe for Christmas!

I like this thread in general, but also because my MIL (and SIL for that matter) are also hyper active (I think mainly to 'burn calories' but also 'being busy' is super important to them and seems to be a measure of their value) so it really helps to hear from others who are like me and struggling to get stuff done.

I always get told things like 'well I've been busy, I've done X and X' etc, and when they are 60 plus and 80 plus it is a bit dispiriting at times!

That I joined the gym, but hardly ever go (I like the idea it is there if I can manage a gentle swim or the pilates class) really seems to grate with MIL and I constantly get asked how many times I have been this week etc.

I do think they put this pressure on themselves as well, there is a lot of 'perfectionist' and anxiety type behaviour there (I think anorexia as well which can link in with that kind of behaviour) so I do try and have some empathy but it is a bit much, really.

DH did install a rack above the dishes to store the plates to dry though and maybe that is more helpful in a way though.

Just did the Ocado order, it has a way of storing the order from the previous week and also you can keep an ongoing time / day slot and it even reminds you the day before to 'add any last minute bits' which is helpful.

I know it is more expensive but we are in a flat and it really helps they can bring it up the stairs. Everything which helps is expensive, I find. I do get PIP which helps a bit but they cut that recently sneakily so have a bit less, at the same time as getting one less child benefit as well.

So I should make some savings somewhere too. Not easy though when you have got used to things which help.

We use Ocado too, it’s very reliable and the basics are really good.

I’m getting anxious about vinted. I’ve just rejected two offers, one person asked about sizing, I replied they then said they were willing to try and offered a £1 less than asking, that’s 20%! I only uploaded them 3 hours ago. So now I think they hate me 😆

It must be a lunchtime thing, lots of cheeky offers suddenly. I’m just declining them all. I assume people won’t sit and cry on to their sandwich.

I try to do things in little bursts, I need a wee so I take out my drink cup, put one thing in the bin and pick up one thing. The kids job is the dishwasher, but it didn’t get done before school. So I’m going to have to empty and load it before I can cook. So I’ll empty it, rest, load, rest etc. it’s the only way!

Yes I do that too. Lots of coffee breaks in between tasks. On the upsetting people on Vinted, I started worrying about doing too many posts on here and that might tire people out, but one of the good things about online is we can take it at our own pace I suppose.

@Orangesandlemons77 I think some people are a bit potty.

My MIL was a dreadful snob, and like a genteel Alf Garnett in her attitudes. She was horrified when her darling only son fell for someone from a council house. Her verdict on meeting me was:

"She's a bossy little piece, but I suppose it could be worse, at least she's not black"

Actually bossylittlepiece would do if I ever need a new MN identity!

Anyway I have always tried to be totally nonjudgmental about DDs' various boyfriends, husbands....and my tongue has been well bitten at times.

Yes I did wonder if we all have the same MIL! It’s perhaps a generational thing maybe 🤔 It’s definitely made me think I wouldn’t want any future DIL to feel that way.

Yes I use Ocado sometimes too, they have some low carb bread and other bits that fits in with my keto diet that the main supermarkets don’t have.

I know what you mean about the competitive being busy! I have relatives similar. My mum is pretty understanding of the condition but even she can be a bit the same. She’s 85 and came over to wait at our house a few weeks ago while her car was in the garage. She drove me mad constantly saying she wasn’t used to sitting doing nothing in the mornings and what could she be doing. She didn’t mean to but it just made me feel guilty for resting and a bit depressed that an 85 yr old does more than I can. I mean I’d rather be busy too but my body has other ideas!

Have just ordered some perfume and a couple of stocking bits for DD. The sudden influx of Xmas ads on TV last night made me panic and think I’d better get on with some Xmas shopping! So at least I’ve achieved something today.

Love that user name bossy little piece!! 😂

💯

@FurForksSake I sell bits on Vinted from time to time and think people just make on offer on the off chance so don’t feel guilty. I once had someone who kept making offers on the same item by just upping it by 50p each time! The notifications were annoying me so DD who was sitting with me, lost patience, took my phone and wrote ‘sorry but I’m only accepting full price’ and she promptly bought it! I’d have likely given in to her pestering! 😂

Im currently doing a telephone capacity to work assessment. It’s been 2.5hrs so far and we’ve not even got to the autism and adhd which is why I’m off sick 😩

Thanks for the thread. I’ve never seen these before.

Best of luck @AuADHD hope it's not too stressful.

@AuADHD goodness that’s a long assessment! Hope it goes smoothly.

3 hours and counting… and boy do they not listen properly!

4 bloody hours and a massive headache later ! I don’t even have the many conditions but the questions are so stupid. I know they have to ask them but jeez.
I’m going to have a read of the thread at bedtime when I’ve got some time and have finished rocking in a corner.

Sorry that seems so onerous @AuADHD was it with occupational health?

Home from work drinking tea. Another working week done. DH has made cottage pie for tea 😋

Evening all, Ocado don't cover our area unfortunately! Day off work, dentist, monthly food shop then tip run. Quick last minute puppy visit. Shattered now and worried. Dentist found a patch on my tongue and has referred me to hospital. Have never smoked or drank heavily so DH thinks not worth worrying about. Of course me being me I'm panicking as it could mean pre cancerous! Need to calm down as it'll be a wait for the letter then the appointment.