I am dreading it, but that’s because I’ve got to sort out the mess I’ve let my relationship with my mum become. I’ve not spoken to her in months beside the odd text via my younger sister. I was upset that she’s not been reaching out to me, so I gave up. She’s lovely and we were very close. But she just doesn’t ring or get in touch. She’s late 60s and I think has very early dementia. The whole dynamic with them is very difficult and DH put his foot in it a bit last Christmas offering help to sort the house out, so we stepped back. My older sister has found it hard to keep in touch with them and she’s five minutes away. But she got through at the weekend to find mum has been in hospital four times with an illness and then was very poorly a few weeks ago. They didn’t tell us :(
So I’m sad and cross and confused and need to look after myself. But also need to sort things out and clear the air. But I’m so tired and recovering from hospital and I hate the phone.
We’d typically go over on Boxing Day with elder sister and our families, but they didn’t cope well last year with it and I’m not physically up to it probably. So I need to suggest something, they won’t come to us. I’ll try and suggest we go over for tea and cake on the Sunday after Christmas so that it’s short and sweet.
But it’s taking up a huge amount of my brain and my heart and I can’t get excited about Christmas because of it.
in some ways I wonder if we should do it the weekend before Christmas so it’s cleared.
one of dh’s relatives has a Boxing Day party that we’ve never been to, it would also mean he could pop in there with the kids. It is too many people for me; I get overwhelmed and anxious around big groups.