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TeaAndStrumpets · 20/11/2025 21:01

Finally payment went through, must be an age verification thing.

I have been suffering all evening with sore shoulders and ribs and just twigged the reason. I have been wearing yoga style harems with a wide elastic belly band waist, over high cut bikini briefs with a very sturdy elastic waistband. Every time I go to the loo I am literally getting my knickers in a twist yanking everything into place! Back to my faithful granny pants tomorrow, minimal effort needed.

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 08:09

Morning all! It didn't feel as cold overnight but frosty this morning.

I'm going to have a quiet day today I hope, just Christmas shopping online. My eyelids are so puffy I look terrible but going to try a cold compress. I think the swelling is related to the ME/CFS - it seems to affect everything. I am so wary of using anything but water round my eyes because I react to so many things.

FurForksSake · 21/11/2025 11:51

Morning! I stayed in bed till 11. Then I managed 10 minutes on the exercise bike. I’m now on the sofa.

Orangesandlemons77 · 21/11/2025 13:00

I went to go to my course this morning but got there and it was cancelled (room too cold apparently) so walked slowly back, it was a lovely sunny cold morning out.

Back in bed now with a coffee. oh well. They will put another morning on for us apparently but it will be close to Christmas.

is anyone else dreading Christmas a little bit? the present buying / expectations? We don't even do much, but I expect MIL will be coming to stay for a week or so..

TodayIsatrickyone · 21/11/2025 13:23

Hi everyone, not too bad here, resting as need to pop out to see my mum for an hour. Haven’t been for weeks so need to seize a not too bad day!

Yes I do dread Christmas a little bit too. I’m trying to be organised early but however much I pace, share out jobs etc I generally crash in January without fail just because I have to push beyond my limits I guess. It’s easier now the kids are older though as it’s just a bit more relaxed and we enjoy having my eldest and his GF here for a bit. Do wish this flare would settle. I’ve been strict with diet all Oct, Nov and that generally makes a big difference but doesn’t seem to be helping right now. I shall persevere as I’m sure it must be doing something!

Swanhilde · 21/11/2025 13:27

Have had a lovely morning on the allotment in the frost and sunshine ❄️☀️ Didn't do any heavy work but filled the bird feeders and helped spread woodchip to mulch the native hedge we've planted 🌳🌿

Slept much better last night and legs are okay 🤞 My PEM usually takes 48 hrs to kick in so we'll see how I am tomorrow ....

Resting with my knitting for the rest of the day. DH is cooking a tagine for tea 😋

@Orangesandlemons77 Christmas used to cause me huge stress and anxiety when my children were little. Made me quite ill. DH then took a lot of the jobs (and stress) off me, leaving me with only my family to buy for and that helped hugely. Now, of course, he also does all the cooking as well, with DD's help (hindrance). My role is ordering and getting everything delivered beforehand and then sitting in the front room entertaining my parents on the day 🎄

FurForksSake · 21/11/2025 13:27

I am dreading it, but that’s because I’ve got to sort out the mess I’ve let my relationship with my mum become. I’ve not spoken to her in months beside the odd text via my younger sister. I was upset that she’s not been reaching out to me, so I gave up. She’s lovely and we were very close. But she just doesn’t ring or get in touch. She’s late 60s and I think has very early dementia. The whole dynamic with them is very difficult and DH put his foot in it a bit last Christmas offering help to sort the house out, so we stepped back. My older sister has found it hard to keep in touch with them and she’s five minutes away. But she got through at the weekend to find mum has been in hospital four times with an illness and then was very poorly a few weeks ago. They didn’t tell us :(

So I’m sad and cross and confused and need to look after myself. But also need to sort things out and clear the air. But I’m so tired and recovering from hospital and I hate the phone.

We’d typically go over on Boxing Day with elder sister and our families, but they didn’t cope well last year with it and I’m not physically up to it probably. So I need to suggest something, they won’t come to us. I’ll try and suggest we go over for tea and cake on the Sunday after Christmas so that it’s short and sweet.

But it’s taking up a huge amount of my brain and my heart and I can’t get excited about Christmas because of it.

in some ways I wonder if we should do it the weekend before Christmas so it’s cleared.

one of dh’s relatives has a Boxing Day party that we’ve never been to, it would also mean he could pop in there with the kids. It is too many people for me; I get overwhelmed and anxious around big groups.

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 13:36

@FurForksSake you have done really well on your exercise bike, you deserve your nap!.

@Orangesandlemons77 that sounds like a lovely walk, anyway. It's pretty with the frost first thing.
Yes, panic about Christmas here! I had a quick look in HomeSense for a large stockpot for DD1, nothing big enough but found a monster on Amazon. I know there are loads of bargains in HomeSense but I couldn't walk round there like I used to do.
Trying to rest again today, we have a second viewing on Tuesday so another trip out!

TodayIsatrickyone · 21/11/2025 13:47

@FurForksSake that sounds difficult with your mum, I’m sorry. Perhaps the weekend before would be a better plan then you can relax a little.

@TeaAndStrumpets it can be frustrating not being able to walk around the shops and get what you need can’t it but thank goodness for Amazon!

@Orangesandlemons77 shame your course got cancelled but your frosty walk does sound lovely.

@Swanhilde I love hearing about your allotment visits, todays sounds lovely.

Right, I have to make the huge effort to get off the sofa and visit mum. I’ll feel better when I’ve been but my body would like to stay put!

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 13:51

You're all posting too fast! Will go back and read.
@TodayIsatrickyone agree about getting ready early, although I sometimes forget I've bought something/forget where I've put it!

@Swanhilde sounds like you too need a giant stockpot! DD1 has a huge polytunnel which is very productive most of the year, so they have a lot of veg. Plenty goes in the freezer but she also has a dehydrator which is fun.

@FurForksSake families are so tricky. We used to have to see both families on Christmas Day but it was tough to drag the girls away from playing with their toys in the morning, drive 40 miles, then return home in the evening when they were tired and grumpy. In the end we said we would stay at home on Christmas Day but do Boxing Day instead. There was a bit of sulking from MIL but she got over it.

Swanhilde · 21/11/2025 14:25

@TeaAndStrumpets Oh I would love a poly tunnel!

Unfortunately, at the moment, I would also need a team of gardeners to do all the heavy work for me 💪🤣

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 14:47

Swanhilde · 21/11/2025 14:25

@TeaAndStrumpets Oh I would love a poly tunnel!

Unfortunately, at the moment, I would also need a team of gardeners to do all the heavy work for me 💪🤣

Yes it's a lot of work but she finds it relaxing. It was there when they moved in and just needed new roofing to be usable. Their house was almost derelict so they lived in a damp/cold static caravan for over two years while they were renovating. She used to potter in her polytunnel just to keep warm, and it really kept her going mentally.

FuzzyPuffling · 21/11/2025 16:37

I went into town today for a short while, and managed to get a couple of Christmas presents.
And some nice food as DH is away for a few days, so I can eat the things he's not keen on.

But it wore me out. I lit the log burner and spent the afternoon on the sofa. Is it bedtime yet?

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 17:24

@FuzzyPuffling it sounds like a good afternoon to me! Well done on finding some Christmas presents. My mission now is to have everything wrapped in really good time, but I keep putting off doing cards. Whenever DH is away I catch up on Kirstie and Phil and save up a new book to start. I cook myself food I can eat on the sofa, with a spoon!

Standards drop when it's just me. Since DH has taken over the cooking every plate gets heated...never happened on my watch!

Stressybetty · 21/11/2025 18:32

MIL woke up about every 2 hours last night so didn't get a great night's sleep! Full day of work today then a pup visit this evening was postponed. More washing, bathed our elderly dog. DH cooking a spice tailor curry and we're catching up on last nights I'm a celebrity. Very tired. Love to all

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 19:36

That's so tough @Stressybetty Hope your weekend is less stressful.

Orangesandlemons77 · 21/11/2025 19:47

TeaAndStrumpets · 21/11/2025 19:36

That's so tough @Stressybetty Hope your weekend is less stressful.

Yes, I hope you can get some rest and tonight is better.

Stressybetty · 21/11/2025 22:07

@Orangesandlemons77 @TeaAndStrumpets thank you. She's out of routine somehow, we solve one issue while she's moved on to the next challenge 😔

Realisation14 · 22/11/2025 08:20

Morning everyone. Hope you're all okay. I'm helping my niece move house today, I'm not going to be doing the heavy lifting part just the driving part as she doesn't drive (she's 19). I'm going to attempt to dye my grey hairs today too if I can find the motivation.

TeaAndStrumpets · 22/11/2025 09:10

Morning all!

I had my usual tossing and turning and gloomy thoughts after I went to bed....another of my Mum's sayings "too tired to sleep" which is so true! Anyway woke up after being conked out for 8 hours so it was probably needed. I just lie there feeling panicky about everything, my mind churns about randomly.

That is so kind of you @Realisation14 fingers crossed for a dry day.

I have never dyed my hair and only have a few grey stripes, whereas both DDs started going grey in their 30s so have been dyeing for years. DH had almost black hair when he was younger, and a red beard, but now it's all grey.

MewithME · 22/11/2025 09:53

Hello all. I've written two posts and deleted both because I just sound too maudlin still. Xmas talk is in the mix in my head...end up feeling very reflective and it adds to it.

Struggling to look forward and not back.

Anyway, today.... Collecting new glasses and somehow getting rid of the washing mountain. Feel too exhausted to do any online shopping or anything. Work and parenting is taking everything I have.

Will try and find some little bit of happy somewhere...not feeling it right now but must try.

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Swanhilde · 22/11/2025 10:12

Today is a day of rest. Have woken up with I sinus headache, which I know is a signal to slow down.

Will slowly make a chicken pie for tea - left over roast chicken and shop bought pastry makes things easier. Am hoping DH will get out in the garden and do some tidying but the weather's not looking good 🍂🍁🍂🍁🌧️

TeaAndStrumpets · 22/11/2025 10:14

Morning @MewithME I am the queen of deleted posts! I think sometimes it helps just to write things down, even if they don't get posted.

I hope you get a good run at things this weekend, and can get enough done to feel more in control. Take care.

MewithME · 22/11/2025 10:18

@Swanhilde I love that. Slow cooking but slow assembling too. I have done that before.

I bought some spinach and ricotta so I'll make a lasagne at some point this weekend.

It's raining now but I'm still in bed. Quite enjoying the sound of the rain and wind. I always have my window open. I'm a fresh air freak..even when it's cold.

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MewithME · 22/11/2025 10:20

Thank you @TeaAndStrumpets . I shall perk up, a bit at some point, I'm sure.

OP posts:
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