Page 12 | Daughter in hospital - full thickness burns

Hobbithermit · 23/10/2025 17:33

timetochangethering · 23/10/2025 17:00

@Nightmarehairinjury Can you write a letter to the hairdresser stressing the seriousness of the injury and asking for their insurance details.

State she has been hospitalised and will need skin grafts.

State it is a very serious injury and will result in lifelong visible scars.

You need to work out PDQ if they are insured or not as they will just go bust if no insurance so you need to be quick to get from them what you can.

I am hoping for you and her that it is a reputable hairdresser with insurance.

Because this is a serious injury to a minor , will the hospital be obliged to contact social services or the police?

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 23/10/2025 17:34

Nightmarehairinjury · 23/10/2025 13:30

She'll be getting a skin graft tomorrow. I've been at hospital since 5am - either her dad or I have been here the whole time. She is on an adult ward, in a side room thankfully.

Thanks to those who have shown support. To those who've declared what a shit mum I am - heard.

I am glad she is getting fast medical intervention. I hope she isn't in too much pain and they are keeping under control.

You are NOT a shit mom. At all! Sometimes, it just happens that one "cannot" for a brief amount of time. You had yours, I have had mine and so have many others. Her DF was with her and sometimes, that is really good as girls can see a sensitive side to their fathers and look for that in their partner/husband.

This had to be so scary for your DD and for you! I hope you have taken a lot of pictures in case they are needed. Did she lose her hair in any areas? That might be important down the road if she has.

Sending you, your DD and her DF lots of UnMumsnet {{HUGS}} and wishes for a fast recovery.

You are NOT a shit mom. At all!

OnlyOnAFriday · 23/10/2025 17:38

Did the hairdresser realise at the time what had happened?

menopausalfart · 23/10/2025 17:44

Sounds as if you've done the right thing. It's not as if your DD doesn't have a parent with her and you're in no fit state to offer the support she needs. We've just gone through a prolonged loss, it’s completely normal to feel drained, both mentally and physically. Grief has a way of taking over your energy, focus, even your sense of time.

nocoolnamesleft · 23/10/2025 17:56

Nightmarehairinjury · 23/10/2025 14:22

I'd much rather she's on specialist burns/plastics ward than a general paeds ward.

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You're absolutely right. Far better to be on a proper burns unit. I've known much younger children be on a mixed regional adult/children burns unit, albeit in a side room, because they needed expertise that our general paeds nurses and doctors just don't have.

Marynotcontrary · 23/10/2025 17:58

MyDeftDuck · 23/10/2025 15:29

But she doesn’t have her mum there with her does she? ????????????
.

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Maybe for a zillion reasons she doesn’t need her mum there. We are not all massively close to our mums.

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

Dolphin4 · 23/10/2025 18:11

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

This really isn't helpful to the OP is it. Why did you feel the need to comment? She has said that her or her husband were with her daughter at all times.

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 23/10/2025 18:16

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

I found it hard read too. Going to hide the thread.

diddl · 23/10/2025 18:18

While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum.

There's no reason at all to think that Op's daughter was sobbing for her.

My daughter would have preferred my husband as I get too emotional/can't think straight to ask necessary questions/take in info.

Samna · 23/10/2025 18:28

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

That was very a cruel thing to post.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/10/2025 18:30

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

OP worded it very poorly, but the dad stayed with the DD, so it’s not as dramatic as OP made out. DD had a parent there so OP leaving was absolutely fine

BringBackCatsEyes · 23/10/2025 18:32

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

I am of course sorry that you are still struggling with what happened to you.
OP's DD did have her Father there.
OP has also explained that the reason she couldn't cope was because she spent weeks and weeks with her dying mother in hospital.
I am sure OP's 16 yo is able to understand her own Mother finding it hard.
I also think it unlikely OP didn't actually turn on her heel muttering "I can't cope" while marching out.

Vitriolinsanity · 23/10/2025 18:36

This is turning into a cancel the cheque thread isn’t it?

sittingonabeach · 23/10/2025 18:40

For those who have been triggered by OP not being at her DD’s bedside (even though dad was there) what would you have done if you were in an adult ward (but under 18) and not allowed to have visitors late at night.

When I was 16 and on adult’s ward they had very restricted visiting hours. Think you were only allowed in afternoon for a few hours and a couple of hours in the evening.

nocoolnamesleft · 23/10/2025 18:48

sittingonabeach · 23/10/2025 18:40

For those who have been triggered by OP not being at her DD’s bedside (even though dad was there) what would you have done if you were in an adult ward (but under 18) and not allowed to have visitors late at night.

When I was 16 and on adult’s ward they had very restricted visiting hours. Think you were only allowed in afternoon for a few hours and a couple of hours in the evening.

When I was a child on a children's ward, visiting was strictly limited to certain hours. I'm glad that things are better now, but I certainly wasn't permanently damaged by it.

itsgettingweird · 23/10/2025 18:48

Oh I’m so sorry this has happened. How scary for you all. I hope the skin graft goes well

WeeGeeBored · 23/10/2025 19:02

Nightmarehairinjury · 22/10/2025 23:04

She's 16. Yes they did a patch test - but I think they tested bleach and used a different lightener. It's a bizarre rectangular burn - think possibly someone has rested a hand on her forehead which has has strong acid on it. It's not a bleach burn - it's an acid burn. Checking her skin pH hourly.

WTAF! So sorry this has happened. Sending best wishes.

JJWT · 23/10/2025 19:07

The incident needs reporting to the council and the HSE. The hairdressers shouldn't be allowed to continue with clients until it has been investigated properly. Hopefully they have public liability insurance. You should make a claim for compensation, which will be paid by their insurer. If not insured they'll have to pay it. Don't enter into any dialogue with them, just pass everything to your solicitor. Don't say anything like Oh I'm sure she'll be fine, etc. Make sure you have plenty of photos at various stages from now and throughout healing.

nunsflipflop · 23/10/2025 19:34

Ignore the poison on here. I wish your daughter a speedy recovery without the need for surgery.

Thisismynewname23 · 23/10/2025 19:37

Nightmarehairinjury · 22/10/2025 23:00

Title says it all really. I took dd to have her hair coloured today - and she's ended up in burns ward, with full thickness chemical burn on her forehead and a 50/50 chance of needing a skin graft. WTF??? Can't believe it.

Am in bits.

(have namechanged)

I hope her surgery goes well what a terrible situation for you all, so scary, I hope she is comfortable, don’t beat yourself up it’s such a hard situation xx

Linenpickle · 23/10/2025 19:39

You should report this as clearly something went wrong at the hairdressers.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 23/10/2025 19:42

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 23/10/2025 08:33

Glad the night went well. I don’t get the guilt people are piling on, mums aren’t the only care givers and need to pace themselves. It will be a long journey and sharing that load is a good idea. There is no point OP staying up all night while her DD slept just to prove to some on MN that she is a good mum!

Completely agree, the focus on 'only mum will do' is ridiculous and explains why so many people on here talk about useless or distant husbands who dont know how to support their children - classifying anyone not you as not good enough either shows you did a shitty job sharing parental responsibility or its narcissism in full spate.

OP, hope you are able to get some rest and that your family are doing ok today. And sorry about your mum, its a hard thing to work through.

FWIW I used to get my hair coloured regularly - one day it did not feel right, they rinsed it off early and my scalp was bright red. Same hairdresser, same product, no reason for it to be different. Except it was.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 23/10/2025 19:45

Hi OP,

Firstly I want to send you and your dd full on wrap around cuddles, I’m so sorry your dd is experiencing this.

Secondly , ignore the comments (for now) about reporting etc… there will be a time and place for this, but it isn’t now.

Where is your dd being treated?

I’m a burn parent also, when my ds was 11 months old (he’s 16 now) he was set on fire in a BBQ accident in our back garden, he was in hospital for 3 months and treatment/surgeries stopped just before his 6th birthday.

He was treated in the RVI Newcastle , and I can honestly say, our experience was exceptional!

Please take their offer on counselling for both of you, (our was waiting in ds room when we came to wait for his 1st graft) most major hospitals have a burns club, ours was called The Grafters club , and they were truly exceptional , we got to speak to other burns parents and the support they give to parents and children is amazing.

When my ds has his accident I also turned to MN and again , the support I received from MN was invaluable.

You're not failing your child, its a natural feeling to blame yourself because as mothers we instinctively want to protect our children and blame ourselves when things take a unexpected and unpredictable twist, especially when you put steps in place to avoid the risks.

I’m not going to sugar coat it, there is challenging months ahead of you, physically, emotionally and mentally, but you’re not alone, you’ve both got this!

Hotflushesandchilblains · 23/10/2025 19:47

Orangemintcream · 23/10/2025 18:03

Wish I hadn’t seen this. The daughter being in hospital and her mum leaving her as it was “just too much to cope with” reminds me too much of my mum doing the same to me. While I sobbed and sobbed for my mum. I was a bit younger than the DD here.

Im 38 now and ever after therapy I still can’t forgive it.

I think you need more therapy then - being so stuck suggests you have not processed the trauma and there are things keeping you stuck. Which is likely to be adding a level of distress to your life.

But this child is not you, and there is no reason to think she will react as you did.