Daughter in hospital - full thickness burns

[Nightmarehairinjury]

Title says it all really. I took dd to have her hair coloured today - and she's ended up in burns ward, with full thickness chemical burn on her forehead and a 50/50 chance of needing a skin graft. WTF??? Can't believe it.

Am in bits.

(have namechanged)

I doubt it. There are some things that simply cannot be forgiven regardless of therapy.

Presumably the daughter had her dad with her so it’s unlikely she will feel the same as I did.

But it’s still very unpleasant reading about a parent who puts her own feelings before her child in such a situation.

I agree. I’ve lost both my parents, had two cousins I loved, one tragically who passed way before his time. All recently. But wild horses wouldn’t have stopped me from being by my adult child’s side if they needed me, in far less circumstances than the DS here. And starting a thread on MN? Wouldn’t have entered my head.

You could have read her post, had your feelings and gone off to deal with them. But you chose to put the boot in and project your own experience, which was an extreme reaction then and speaks of psychological rigidity now, onto this situation.

Whatever was going on in your family, whatever the dynamics were, whatever went wrong for you, I am sorry. I am sorry that happened to you and I am sorry your therapy did not help you. But it depends what you wanted from it - if it is important to you to hold on to the hurt you felt, no amount of therapy will fix that. That would be useful to explore if you ever go back.

But judging a parent whose own needs means they need a break while ensuring another parent is there to support their child as 'unforgivable' is wrong. OP does not deserve this and you are being cruel. I hope you can find some peace in future and stop seeing all childrens experiences through your own lens.

op i hope shes ok. Sorry if you feel ppl are saying you are a shit mum, I think what ppl may struggle with is the way you wrote your posts in the beginning when you said you left , you cant deal with , not sure if you meant to sound that selfish and you spending time with your mum in hospital is really sad but im not sure why that means you cant be there for your child which is the impression you gave which is probably why ppl said what they said. I think you should get off mumsnet and just be there for your daughter and when you're not at the hospital, just be at home getting your energy back. Hope shes ok!

I do hope your daughter is doing ok, it's a horrible thing to have happened.
Please take no notice of all the people who jumped on you when you said you weren't at the hospital with her.
I was in a car accident aged 15 and I did not want my Mum at the hospital or anyone. I just wanted to be alone.
Not everyone is the same.
You don't need to explain who was with her or why you weren't.
If this site has reached the stage where people can't post for a little support without being crucified, then it's a poor do.

Oh dear no that’s awful 😞
poor DD and poor you , you must be worried sick .
I assume at her age she will be on an adult ward where visits are restricted .
i hope this all goes as well as it possibly can and the plastic surgeon will make sure this all will eventually be barely visible.
I am really shocked that this hair colour she was having has caused such serious burns 🥺 .
my daughter often gets ends of her hair lightened to prep for a bright colour on top and of course that involves bleach .

Why does it matter?

Agreed. There was absolutely no need.

Some people have medical related PTSD. I know someone who had to leave her nursing job after developing PTSD from working during the first wave of Covid. It left her unable to set foot in a hospital without having awful flashbacks. If the OP has something similar then she was definitely best off letting her husband stay at the hospital instead. I wish people would be less nasty on here.

Well, we're all different

This has already been discussed and OP already answered. The thread has moved on.

I'm not (Life of Brian)

This thread though, an absolute car crash some of the responses. OP has said she had someone there with her, later clarifying it was the girl's dad. Totally acceptable as was OP's explanation of why she didn't want to be there.

You couldn’t cope with it? She is 16 years old having her bleached and ended up with a burn? Have you left her on her own? This is not about you!

she didn’t though did she

Keep her on the burns unit - dont ask to move her to paeds. The burns unit will be spotless as the risk of infection is so high and she will be with fully trained staff.

Good luck with the skin graft tomorrow - my daughter had one a few month ago after a bad burn to her foot during a seizure. The physio is long and drawn out for burns.

Sounds horrendous. Poor girl, hope she heals well.

Here we go again........

Yes here we go again … having our own personal view.

The embellishments on this thread are truly ridiculous.
Quite a few budding authors with good imaginations.....

Did it not occur to you that after over 24 hours since the thread was started maybe the OP would have updated? You could have read just the OPs posts and you would know that she was never left alone. Her father was with her all night and her mother has been with her since 5am. Instead of bothering to read past the first post you decided to just come on and stick the boot in to a mother struggling.

Sigh.....OP didn't leave her on her own.

Bloody well said!

Not ‘kicking the boot in’ at all. Just my personal view. Is that allowed?

It isn’t based on what happened… so your personal view is factually wrong.

This happened to my daughter - highlights were applied normally in foils and yet started burning her scalp quickly. The salon said it was due to a hot room which I don’t believe. My guess is that they used dodgy dye or mixed it wrong. Highlights shouldn’t run..
I hope your DD is okay after the skin graft and gets well soon. Do go after the salon though for answers.