Speeding teen driver - DS a passenger WWYD

[DeadMansBones]

My DS was out with friends last night, DS is 17 driver of the car is 18. I get a notification via life360 app that the car is driving at 102 mph and 67 risky incidents. The route driven was down back roads that are unlit and dangerous. WWYD?

Where I live there are loads of unlit rural B roads where 100mph is easily achievable, there are certain sections where you could achieve 140mph+ in the right car.

Do you have the full unlocked version that tells you exactly what the risky events are

looked at our data - had DH driving when he was running (dropped the car off and ran there and back to the car whilst DD was at activities) has lots of phone usage which is because of course it can’t distinguish between passengers and drivers so some of that could be that so

That said I got freaked out the other night when walking home and a car drove past at a really fast speed (in a residential area)

Are you sure it's not one of his parent's car?

Why would someone autistic qualify anyway for a car like this at 18?

Is it worth getting the full version? I wasn't sure how much more info it gave

@DeadMansBones drug dealers have nice cars.

Show your son some videos of crashes. Graphic ones if you can. It's an accident waiting to happen.

As far as I know it's his, he drives it to college everyday and seems to always have use of it. He tells his friends that it's his car

I don't think this particular boy is but hanging around with people involved in drugs is another issue we've had this year, hence why the life360 app is installed in the first place. It's been a very fun year as a parent!

Yes I would attempt to contact the other parents I know he is 18 but you can bet they will want to
know - I would. (Not the point but they are probably also paying for the car)

I would show your son the recent stories of teenage deaths in cars and make him understated seriousness of it.

Before contacting the other parents, I think OP should talk to her son and find out what really happened. As per my last post, I wouldn't regard Life360 as being a reliable source of information.

I'm not going to speak to his parents, I have no idea who they are, what they are like and I have no hard proof to show them.

Again with police I have no proof of who was driving that car, for all I know DS could've been lying about who he was with, it wouldn't be the first time thats happened.

I may contact the college but again I don't really know what they can do.

I'm trying to drill into DS how serious it is but he always just nods and agrees and you'll think he's listened but then peer pressure always seems to win in the end.

I will be keeping a close eye on the app from now on and if speeds anything like that happen again I'll call the police and give the location of the vehicle

When reading about fatalities of young people it seems it's more likely than not that they weren't wearing seatbelts. I can't get my head around this because front seat belts have had to be worn since 1983 (42 years) and rear seat belts for adults since 1991 (children 1989). Why do they think it doesn't apply to them because for their lifetime wearing seatbelts should be second nature?

Teenagers think they are invincible. If one of them doesn't do it and they're seen as a bit of a leader the rest follow.

Same with the obsession they all seem to have with vaping, they are all wrecking their health and wasting their money just to fit in

They aren’t paying for the car. It’s a new car under Motability.

A good friend of mine lives in the village near where this accident happened. An entire family was wiped out by the 21 y/o driver. He also killed the two teenage girls who were his passengers. His car caught fire in the crash, and the blaze was so bad they had to use DNA to identify the girls bodies.

Far better to be seen as a controlling and unreasonable Mum, than risk having to deal with what the two girls' families had to go through.

www.scotsman.com/news/driver-admits-he-killed-five-in-crash-2456906

My DC are slightly older now, but no-one seems to vape at all.

Right I've got the free trial of the full app version. The risky incidents were mostly mobile phone usage, so from DS probably using his phone not the driver. The rest were mostly high speed, which I can now see are dotted all throughout the journey, so possibly slowing to avoid speed cameras. Then there's an odd few for rapid acceleration and hard braking

Yes my other DS is 22 and it doesnt seem as popular in his cohort. Nearly every 17/18 year old I know seems to do it though, even the ones you wouldn't expect

I bet you feel like taking him to live somewhere remote away from bad friends. I wouldn't be able to rest.

Yes definitely! The annoying thing is this friend seems better in some ways with regards to the drugs but then this happens. It would be less complicated if I just didn't know but then who knows what would happen

So you have got to the end of the day and you have done…. The square root of nothing.

You could have searched hi and low online for the parents and endeavoured contact.

You could have sent an email to the school asking them to pass on your email to the parents and say you urgently need to discuss

You could have at least contacted the police to see if it was something they’d be interested in finding out more

but nope…. Just mumsnetted

And I can do all of that with the very common first name of a boy who may or may not have been driving a car that my DS was in. Using data from an app that may or may not be accurate

You have fuck all to lose OP

and fgs with a bit of effort you could find their name.

and the school will pass on your email if you say you need to contact the parents

but nope

just mumsnet

so your ds refuses to give you any further info about the friend

The school will do that just from a first name? Really?

No DS will not and he is also very prone to lying recently and the more I try and control what he's doing the more he tries to hide it