Speeding teen driver - DS a passenger WWYD

[DeadMansBones]

My DS was out with friends last night, DS is 17 driver of the car is 18. I get a notification via life360 app that the car is driving at 102 mph and 67 risky incidents. The route driven was down back roads that are unlit and dangerous. WWYD?

The police will not do anything. There is no proof as to who was driving and a reported speed on Life360 does not prove they were going that fast or anywhere near.

Not sure what you think the police are going to do without any evidence.

This is a really great idea. However much DS might agree with you tacitly, OP, losing face in a situation with his peers is probably not an option, as you know all too well 😞

That’s bullshit. 100mph wheels fast on a motorway, let alone on a back road in the dark.

Oh I absolutely wasnt trying to do that. I’m so sorry if that’s how it come across. I was just asking about the learning aspect; not apportioning blame. I’m not here to do that in any way. I’m very sorry.

Apologies @teees ; the passengers were friends of my friends son so it hit me quite hard I’m sorry for overreacting x

I have mixed feelings as we have life 360. Last week it told me DH was speeding (80+ mph) with 2 near collisions.
Except I was sitting next to him in the car at the time. We reached a max of 70, overtaking on a motorway and at no time were in any way close to a collision.

Obviously nobody should be driving dangerously, and if you're seeing speeds of over 100 then that's very concerning, but in my experience life 360 wasn't accurate and shouldn't have been relied on for being entirely factual.

DS18 is on life 360 and have realised he is economical with the truth. I can see when he is driving too fast and I WhatsApp him articles about teenagers and young adults being seriously hurt and tragically killed regularly in the hope he is aware of the dangers. Tragically he is aware of peers who have died in cars but he almost thinks he is invincible.
I make very little comment just in case he removes me - we tread a fine line with me trying not to say too much - it is very difficult.

@PGmicstand My comment earlier about in excess of 100 mph stands. Was this really the case. However you knew DH was driving safely. It’s difficult when teenage dc lie.

There’s also plenty of dc in rather sporty looking cars that they have modified that drive near us on a bypass doing doughnuts etc. We know they are there but the police do nothing. Parents who have dc with these cars must know something about what’s going on. Who has a modified car and drives like an angel. Often baseball cap wearing or hood up. It’s something the police don’t care about but then put up signs asking for info afterwards. Multiple deaths are not infrequent. If I was a parent I’d be taking the keys away.

I agree with this. My parents knew 1% of what I got up to and with whom. I have no clue how I survived my teens and twenties. I was a passenger in a car that we encouraged the driver to take off going over railway bridges (Vauxhall Firenza), I and two mates moved from one car to another at 45mph on a lonely stretch of the M4, just to see if we could do it, I used to ride motorbikes with no license and be pillion at massive speeds (135mph Monmouth bypass). I rode horses, no saddle, just holding on to a leading rein and a handful of mane going like the clappers and a host of other stuff too numerous to mention and my life was tame compared to a lot of my mates.

If I had told my Mum she would have cried. Dad would have locked me up and thrown away the key and that without my encounters with alcohol which is a thread in itself.

You can find out.

You are being too passive. It may be due to your own fear, but action is needed.

These young people are in danger, including your son. You have a responsibility - direct in the case of your own son - to respond to prevent harm.

That's a very blaming post.
Many drivers crash precisely because they misjudge exactly how slow to go.
As with every skill you continue to improve through practice - new drivers are new drivers.

Are you intending to pay for your son’s driving lessons? And / or a car and / or insurance?

I would be saying that if he sets foot in that car again, then I will be contributing zilch

Most kids regard their parents as the “most” controlling.

I take it with a pinch of salt, and so should you

I'd be careful, life360 is notirious for not being accurate on speed. It told my husband I was doing 87 on the school run and I hadn't gone above about 40 for the whole journey. Try having a chat with him before going in all guns blazing.

There's nothing the police can do. You didn't witness anything and the app notification won't pass as evidence.

I'd certainly let the kid's parents know though.

I have already apologised for the way this comment came across. It was insensitive and not intended to sound as it does. Perhaps you don’t need to raise it again?

That accident was tragic. But any driver could misjudge that particular road in the conditions on that night. Snowdonia has difficult rural roads and the driver had passed their test in an urban environment. The car was small and full which would have distributed the weight differently as well. He probably wasn’t showing off just went too fast in and lost it. I have done that myself over the years and it is really easy to do on Welsh roads. I have driven young 18 year old lads on these roads with them telling me how I drive like granny and to go faster so being 17 it would be hard to ignore. He was going 22mph under the speed limit for that road. My point:-

Being an inexperienced driver is a factor but like the Dentists who are currently being prosecuted for killing a person in a head on crash after racing on a A road it sounds like this boy is racing and ragging it purposefully. All you can do is tell your son he should not be in a car with him.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 What driving test is not in an urban environment? It’s always the case. However dc with parents can familiarize themselves with rural roads but clearly some young think they are invincible and always have done! Its personality isn’t it. What you get kicks from. Most of the daft stuff we did was off road though. No other road users involved.

They didn’t think they were invincible.

I realise my comment may not have been entirely clear.
Our 360 showed a speed above that of the actual vehicle, which was actually within the rules of the road. In our case, the near collision was inaccurate.
However if, as the OP said, the report from 360 is saying 100+ then yes, there is a huge cause for concern. They may not have been travelling at quite that speed, but it was still faster than it should have been.

Having once been in a car with someone driving at 100mph (albeit very briefly), it was terrifying.

No one should be driving at that speed (if he really was).

However, I do find it ludicrous that we’re now in a position where parents are tracking every movement of 17 year olds.

DS1 moved out for uni at 17 (as is normal in Scotland) and I had no idea where he was at a given moment. This level of control and mollycoddling is going to cause serious issues.

@OhDear111

I’m making the point that the crash in Snowdonia wasn’t an example of boy racing around town but simply a tragic “rookie” error in an area miles from the lads home which was totally unfamiliar to them. This is not the case in the OP, it seems to be showing off in the locality at, if accurate, speeds which will result in custodial sentences if anyone is injured so not useful for OP to show her DS.

You must be a very nervous passenger, there’s nothing terrifying about doing 100mph.

You are joking, surely.