What's the worst thing you've heard in a wedding speech?

[Jubblybub]

Was reading the thread about the best man's speech upsetting people and it got me thinking of some of the awful wedding speeches Ive had to listen to.

My BIL's best man at his wedding to my sister was awful, he made anti-semitic and homophobic comments in his speech (my sister's godfather is Jewish and gay and there were a number of gay and Jewish guests), made sexual remarks about my sister and had a really weird part of his speech that he had pre-recorded for everyone to watch. I won't go into specifics because it would be very outing but that section alone was 20 minutes long. The whole speech was excruciating and had me seriously wondering why my BIL has a friend like this (BIL could not be more different) never mind why he would have wanted this one as his best man.

At another wedding I went to, the father of the bride actually said at the beginning of his speech, "the bridesmaids and flower girls are looking beautiful, I hope there's no pedos here..." He then went on to talk about the stag do in great detail, including a strip club visit and how he had never had the experience of being in a nightclub with bottles of Grey Goose on their private table being accosted by beautiful, half-naked women until he met the groom and this was just one of the reasons why he was so happy to welcome him into the family. At the same wedding the groom's speech included broken down costings of the entire wedding, "thank you to mum and dad for paying £5k for our photographer, thanks to gran for bride's 10k wedding dress, thanks to parents in law for spending £xk on the catering" which was really bizarre.

Any other stories of wild things said in wedding speeches?

At my wedding, years ago, it was decided that my dad would accompany me down the aisle and that my stepdad would give the speech. However, stepdad drank far too much and was unable to say anything except that H and I “love cats.” It was odd, especially since we didn’t actually own a cat.

FOB speech which was basically a rundown of how much the wedding had cost and that he’d paid it even though she wasn’t even his real daughter.

Then FOB’s best friend stood up and did another speech about how great FOB was for spending a fortune on someone adopted. It was awful.

I was Maid of honour years and years ago,and the groom was thanking me for being a great friend to his new wife, he told a story about how is helped her out, I was so confused because it wasn't me he was talking about im still not sure who the story was about😀

I have also been at a wedding where the bride made a speech which hinted at they has been having an affair before they were "official "

Groom kept commenting on how proud he was of his bride for loosing a few stone. It just felt a bit awful to point it out and he made it sound like it was something that was really important to him!

My brother’s best man said he was secretly gay, describing a time they’d shared a bed and he’d woken up to my brother’s erection pressing into his back, and then said my brother almost certainly had AIDS.

My DH made a terribly rambling speech at our wedding. Then he encouraged everyone to sing happy birthday to his mother. Which doesn’t sound too bad because it was her birthday but the shit had hit the fan with me and my side because the the wedding had been booked and deposit paid before I knew MIL’s birthday. I had begged him not to mention it but he said that he felt pressured. Pressured by the pain in the arse that actually makes life hell when she isn’t the centre of attention and the entire reason MIL’s birthday was a problem. (Most people can be normal about these things).

Then DH sat down without even mentioning me or our wedding.

I was fucking livid.

My cousin married a much older (and imo really gross and ugly) man when she was in her early 20s. The best man's speech as well as the father of the bride's speech focused entirely on how much of a dirty old man the groom is and how money grabbing my cousin is. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever felt at a wedding and my cousin was so upset. They've separated now and their subsequent complaints about each other echo those speeches.

At my best friend's wedding, the best man's speech was almost a eulogy of the groom and no mention of the bride at all so it was very strange. Some people asked me if the best man was in love with the groom and struggling to accept him being with someone else.

ETA - at my wedding, my DH spent about 10 minutes talking about how wonderful his family is and how much of a good job his family did at raising him. He briefly commented on my family and me but mostly congratulated himself in making a good choice and saying how nice it was how well his family welcomed me. It felt....odd.

Off topic, but just wanted to say these are awful and fantastic at the same time. Love this thread, so thanks OP.

Family wedding where the boss of the bride got up and did a very nice speech about how he introduced the couple and was highly supportive of their relationship. Sounds lovely? Except everyone there knew that the newly married couple got together as an affair and both were married to other people when this boss had set them up. Very inappropriate!

About 15 years ago, I went on holiday with a friend to a small carribbean island with a large expat community that she had lived on for a few years previously, and we attended the wedding of a friend of hers held in the garden of a large beautiful villa. The community is tight knit and a lot of drinking goes on.

Bride had a son of about 25, she was early 40s, groom is a wealthy guy mid 50s.

Best man is the best friend of the brides son and he was soooo drunk, hardly could stand.
His speech basically him rambling on about having sex with the bride before she got with her new husband and how good a 'shag' she was.
The speech was ended by the son taking a running punch at the best man, knocking him into the pool.
Party started after that, was one of the best nights I ever had 😂
I heard they got divorced shortly after...

Have wedding speeches had their day?

My dad's was awful but at least I was a grown up.
The speech that over shadowed a family wedding was the groom looking adoringly at his new bride, talking about how he'd had a wish list of uni educated, home owner and kind and she was the first person he'd ever wanted to marry.
His teenage kids just lost it at that point. Turned out he'd used the same criteria to 'pick' their mum but without the marrying. They promptly drank every bit of booze nearby, whilst my same age DDs tried to manage the situation and we had to take them off to a local playground to sober up and process their understandably all over the place emotions.

Rowan Atkinson.... Father of the Bride
m.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8&pp=0gcJCRsBo7VqN5tD

I don't actually like speeches anyway it is a me issue though, but cringey speeches seem to last forever i just want them to stop talking !

We went to TWO weddings in the same year where the fob got the BRIDES name wrong.
both times they called their daughter their ex wife’s name.

it was flipping weird. I think the fobs were really nervous but still.

At a recent wedding the FOB spoke about how he always hoped his daughter would fall in love with a man just like him. It was very awkward.

The rest of his speech was mostly about himself, and several poems he had chosen were also read out in other speeches - credited to him. It was bizarre.

I've noticed at several recent weddings a new trend of having brides giving speeches and so far these have all been terrible. Long winded, mostly directed at bridesmaids full of reminiscing, and generally just not designed for an audience. More a personal conversation that's entirely one sided. The problem is the traditional speeches have already covered the usual thank yous, the vows have generally covered something sentimental between the couple, so by having MOB, bride, MOH speeches you simply end up off on tangents. There were 7 speeches at the last wedding I went to! Absolute overkill.

7 speeches ! Oh no thank you.

My DF refused to do a speech so his best friend stepped in. Drunk, he rambled on until his wife started heckling and threw a roll at him, so he sat down.

I can top that, my daughters wedding where the new FIL got up and made a speech all about what a great guy he was and made its sound like he paid for the wedding (didn't pay for a bloody thing, DH and I did)!

Dh although not drunk lost his train of thought at our Dds wedding so started to ramble a bit, I had to give him nudge if I had a roll at hand though😀

That second one is a well-known joke.

Best man told a lengthy story about an unfortunate masturbation incident the groom had as a teenager which resulted in an A&E visit. It was very graphic. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on the grooms grandmothers face!

😳😱

MOH did a speech. She talked about all the antics the bride had got up to with previous boyfriends. Really!