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Original poster

What's the worst thing you've heard in a wedding speech?

324 replies

Jubblybub · 21/09/2025 21:45

Was reading the thread about the best man's speech upsetting people and it got me thinking of some of the awful wedding speeches Ive had to listen to.

My BIL's best man at his wedding to my sister was awful, he made anti-semitic and homophobic comments in his speech (my sister's godfather is Jewish and gay and there were a number of gay and Jewish guests), made sexual remarks about my sister and had a really weird part of his speech that he had pre-recorded for everyone to watch. I won't go into specifics because it would be very outing but that section alone was 20 minutes long. The whole speech was excruciating and had me seriously wondering why my BIL has a friend like this (BIL could not be more different) never mind why he would have wanted this one as his best man.

At another wedding I went to, the father of the bride actually said at the beginning of his speech, "the bridesmaids and flower girls are looking beautiful, I hope there's no pedos here..." He then went on to talk about the stag do in great detail, including a strip club visit and how he had never had the experience of being in a nightclub with bottles of Grey Goose on their private table being accosted by beautiful, half-naked women until he met the groom and this was just one of the reasons why he was so happy to welcome him into the family. At the same wedding the groom's speech included broken down costings of the entire wedding, "thank you to mum and dad for paying £5k for our photographer, thanks to gran for bride's 10k wedding dress, thanks to parents in law for spending £xk on the catering" which was really bizarre.

Any other stories of wild things said in wedding speeches?

OP posts:
BramStoner · 21/09/2025 23:10

The key thing is a well-known and obvious joke.

Foundationns · 21/09/2025 23:13

TeenLifeMum · 21/09/2025 23:06

The key thing is pretty well known and was done a lot years ago. Early Facebook trend. It’s supposed to be lighthearted. Some crowds it would work but others not so much. Definitely wouldn’t have been one for my older relatives.

Show quote history

That’s interesting. I’d hate it. Lots of my friends and family claiming to have been my brand new husbands past lovers, and the joke not even original. Oh well.

Hohumdedum · 21/09/2025 23:14

Best man got the bride's name wrong in the speech three times. People politely ignored first time. By the third time everyone was shouting the right name out.

Father of the bride said something like "I'm so glad Bride and Groom share the same religious faith. Of course, my ex-wife and I shared the same faith too and it didn't stop us divorcing".

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
honeylulu · 21/09/2025 23:21

At my cousin's wedding (she was the bride) the two best men did a very long and laddish double act speech going through all the groom's drunken exploits and casual encounters of days gone by. Some of the tales were quite vile (stuff like golden showers etc). I am no prude but was pretty aghast, then I caught a glimpse of my grandparents horrified faces, yikes.

Another wedding, this was a friend from school who married very young, about 20. Groom's best man had never been to a wedding before and clearly had no idea what was expected in terms of a speech. He said basically "I've known Ian for a few years down the pub, we like a few drinks, he's a great bloke and good luck to him". No mention at all of the bride or any reference to the wedding at all.

Thepossibility · 21/09/2025 23:25

It wouldn't be apparently bad to anyone else but me. DH had a friend I really dislike (one of the boys type who treats women like shit.) He was a groomsman, not even best man. He took it upon himself to make a speech after all the other speeches had been done. He made up a story about how we met and of course he had a starring role. I was fuming, he made up a lie to tell everyone about us for a SPEECH at our WEDDING just for attention.

mathanxiety · 21/09/2025 23:28

Best man's speech was all about how the groom (big man on campus apparently) had welcomed him, a loser, into the popular club and helped him address his anxiety disorder. The topic of the anxiety disorder was expanded upon for about twenty minutes longer than the attention span of most of the guests. It was interesting to see a room full of very jolly people first grow completely silent and then about 12 minutes in all start chatting. There was a smattering of applause at the end. Then the groom's stepfather put the wedding right back on track with a really great speech. The relief of the assembled guests was as palpable as the inner cringing had been earlier.

TeenLifeMum · 21/09/2025 23:34

Foundationns · 21/09/2025 23:13

That’s interesting. I’d hate it. Lots of my friends and family claiming to have been my brand new husbands past lovers, and the joke not even original. Oh well.

Show quote history

It’s crass and I agree, but some would find it hilarious. I also hate opps upside your head and the whole sitting on the floor thing as adults. Appreciate others love it, just not my thing.

honeylulu · 21/09/2025 23:39

Oh I forgot this one though I think I've posted about it before. The bride stood up and announced she was making a speech, fair enough. She started off and I thought hmm this sounds like familiar song lyrics and then suddenly she fully burst into a (tuneless) rendition of "From this moment on" - her bridesmaids also stood up and joined in. There was also dramatic sobbing between the sung words and gestures (arms extended to groom, hand clutched against heart etc). It honestly made Bette Midler singing The Wind Beneath My Wings seem shy and retiring.to in comparison.

We all sat there cringing horribly and waiting for it to be over.

404PageNotFound · 21/09/2025 23:45

one where the father of the bride essentially spent 45 mins banging on about the talents and virtues of the bride's SISTER and didn't mention the bride once

And this is why we didn't have speeches when I got married. My father would have done exactly the same. We got dressed together at his house as we were leaving from there and when we went downstairs he said how lovely she looked. Didn't say a word to me.

GlowWorm13 · 21/09/2025 23:49

When my dh’s cousin got married, the father of the bride rambled on and on about how the groom wasn’t the sort of man he had wanted his daughter to marry, however, over the years she had worked hard to get her husband in line and she had succeeded in moulding him into someone he could accept into his family. The room was absolutely silent, the groom’s family and friends had faces like thunder and everyone on the bride’s sat there exchanging wtf looks with each other. It was awful and I felt so sorry for the poor groom listening to this.

When my best friend got married, the best man gave a long speech, over half an hour long, talking about how everyone had always suspected the groom was gay and he then proceeded to give a long list of ‘for and against’ this suspicion of him being gay based on 20 years worth of “evidence”. It was beyond bizarre, and whilst everyone politely laughed for the first 5 minutes, once he really got going everyone went silent and there was not a single reaction to any “joke” he made for the next 25 minutes. It was excruciating and he just kept ploughing on in complete silence.

He also said hello to a whole bunch of guests who had travelled abroad to attend the wedding, left out the bride’s sister who had travelled a huge distance to be there, but what was even more horrendous was that he singled out the only black man in the room and said “we also need to say hello to our mate Token”. Everyone looked confused and he said “Token…you know token black man”. There were actually gasps when he said that and another friend of the groom shouted out “shut up, dickhead”. The guy who was targeted did laugh about it and gave a bow, but I didn’t see him again after the speech’s so I suspect he left early. As I’m sure you can imagine, the groom and his best man’s friendship ended shortly after the wedding. The groom and his wife are still going strong 15 years down the line.

Foundationns · 21/09/2025 23:49

honeylulu · 21/09/2025 23:39

Oh I forgot this one though I think I've posted about it before. The bride stood up and announced she was making a speech, fair enough. She started off and I thought hmm this sounds like familiar song lyrics and then suddenly she fully burst into a (tuneless) rendition of "From this moment on" - her bridesmaids also stood up and joined in. There was also dramatic sobbing between the sung words and gestures (arms extended to groom, hand clutched against heart etc). It honestly made Bette Midler singing The Wind Beneath My Wings seem shy and retiring.to in comparison.

We all sat there cringing horribly and waiting for it to be over.

Aaargh. The stuff of nightmares.

BananaAndApple · 21/09/2025 23:58

Had a part-time job in a hotel that did weddings when at school, so I’ve seen more wedding speeches than most I’d guess.

The one that stands out was a really young couple, I believe they were 19. Best man made a game of “I have never”. For those who don’t know it’s an adaptation of a drinking game where everyone stands up, and the best man said “I have never” done something and if you had done that, you sit down. So, for example “I have never been to Spain” if you’ve been to Spain you sit down.

He engineered it so there were a handful left standing, including himself, the bride and groom and some others…. He then went with “I have never had a threesome with the bride” stayed standing, went to give the groom a high-five who suitably red and the BM was promptly kicked out of the wedding by the brides father.

Rorys · 22/09/2025 00:06

Father of the bride spoke for half of his speech about his nasty divorce and custody battle with the brides mum,
and half his speech talking about how worried he was that brides older sister would be left on the shelf because of how old she was.
best man (who disliked the bride) spoke only about all his memories with groom and how upset he was to be losing his friend
Didn’t mention the bride once.

a different wedding best man brought a date who wore a white bridal gown.

MakeOrBake · 22/09/2025 00:07

FOB speech with lots of painfully cringe and totally inappropriate innuendo about the wedding night.

One wedding where 3 or 4 groomsmen each gave a speech. Recounting how they met the groom, and what a wonderful friend he is. No mention of the bride. The friends were all lovely and said nothing inappropriate - the groom is clearly a lovely guy - but it felt so weird that he was getting all this love and the bride was barely mentioned. Then the FOB got up, but he only spoke for 90 seconds, max. Thankfully, the groom spoke eloquently and lovingly about her.

Final standout was one where the FOB went on at length about all his great friends who were there on the day, including lots of detail on the history of each friendship. He did say lovely things about his daughter too, but everyone was glassy-eyed by the time he got to her!

MayaPinion · 22/09/2025 01:12

Family wedding where the groom gave a speech about how great it was to be marrying the bride because she was ‘an absolutely brilliant shag’.

nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 22/09/2025 07:30

IWasScaredToBeHeld · 21/09/2025 22:43

My dad, at his brothers second wedding.

“this wedding has been so emotional, even the cake is in tiers”. Cue everyone else groaning while he dissolved into floods of hysterical laughter and couldn’t finish the rest of his speech!

So he had simply googled 'Best Man Jokes to use at a wedding' 😬

Fearfulsaints · 22/09/2025 07:36

My brothers wedding, where the father of the bride basically ran down my family and said how lucky my brother was to now be getting a real family.

CafeDuck · 22/09/2025 07:47

Jubblybub · 21/09/2025 21:45

Was reading the thread about the best man's speech upsetting people and it got me thinking of some of the awful wedding speeches Ive had to listen to.

My BIL's best man at his wedding to my sister was awful, he made anti-semitic and homophobic comments in his speech (my sister's godfather is Jewish and gay and there were a number of gay and Jewish guests), made sexual remarks about my sister and had a really weird part of his speech that he had pre-recorded for everyone to watch. I won't go into specifics because it would be very outing but that section alone was 20 minutes long. The whole speech was excruciating and had me seriously wondering why my BIL has a friend like this (BIL could not be more different) never mind why he would have wanted this one as his best man.

At another wedding I went to, the father of the bride actually said at the beginning of his speech, "the bridesmaids and flower girls are looking beautiful, I hope there's no pedos here..." He then went on to talk about the stag do in great detail, including a strip club visit and how he had never had the experience of being in a nightclub with bottles of Grey Goose on their private table being accosted by beautiful, half-naked women until he met the groom and this was just one of the reasons why he was so happy to welcome him into the family. At the same wedding the groom's speech included broken down costings of the entire wedding, "thank you to mum and dad for paying £5k for our photographer, thanks to gran for bride's 10k wedding dress, thanks to parents in law for spending £xk on the catering" which was really bizarre.

Any other stories of wild things said in wedding speeches?

Loving these. Can you link the thread that inspired it please, I can’t find it.

Catsandcwtches · 22/09/2025 07:59

These stories are gobsmacking! I went to one where the father of the bride briefly congratulated his daughter on becoming a doctor and then went on to discuss the highs of his own medical career for the rest of the speech.

And my dad told an anecdote which was actually about my sister (but he pretended it was about me) and it wasn’t even a particularly funny or interesting story, I think he was just struggling for things to say.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/09/2025 08:47

Groom - SOME of the bridesmaids look beautiful. Got a laugh but there were six and three clear stunners and three more average looking women

OneFootAfterTheOther · 22/09/2025 08:58

Brother of the bride gave a long and rambling speech covering many inappropriate topics mostly about him but did manage to mention the couples 3rd child was an error.

OpalSpirit · 22/09/2025 08:59

The groom thanked the brides sister for not wearing knickers and keeping the flies away from the wedding cake.

Also put his arm around his young son, looked up and said to the sky ‘see dad, I stand by my mistakes’

user1497787065 · 22/09/2025 09:06

I was a plus one at a wedding years ago and the speech from the bridegroom started with ‘I can’t wait to get Sarah’s (the bride) knickers off’ followed by a few gasps from the family followed by ‘because frankly they’re killing me’.

bitterexwife · 22/09/2025 09:11

Father of the bride thinking he was hilarious and laughing his head off telling the room about when bride was a teenager, slitting her wrists, blood everywhere.
room fell understandably silent whilst he tried to compose himself after all the laughter

PortSalutPlease · 22/09/2025 09:12

DH had a best man and a best woman. Best man made sexual comments about the best woman in his speech. Best woman is a. Very shy and b. Muslim. DH stopped him fairly sharpish and he was asked to leave, but the look on her face was just awful.