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Original poster

What's the worst thing you've heard in a wedding speech?

324 replies

Jubblybub · 21/09/2025 21:45

Was reading the thread about the best man's speech upsetting people and it got me thinking of some of the awful wedding speeches Ive had to listen to.

My BIL's best man at his wedding to my sister was awful, he made anti-semitic and homophobic comments in his speech (my sister's godfather is Jewish and gay and there were a number of gay and Jewish guests), made sexual remarks about my sister and had a really weird part of his speech that he had pre-recorded for everyone to watch. I won't go into specifics because it would be very outing but that section alone was 20 minutes long. The whole speech was excruciating and had me seriously wondering why my BIL has a friend like this (BIL could not be more different) never mind why he would have wanted this one as his best man.

At another wedding I went to, the father of the bride actually said at the beginning of his speech, "the bridesmaids and flower girls are looking beautiful, I hope there's no pedos here..." He then went on to talk about the stag do in great detail, including a strip club visit and how he had never had the experience of being in a nightclub with bottles of Grey Goose on their private table being accosted by beautiful, half-naked women until he met the groom and this was just one of the reasons why he was so happy to welcome him into the family. At the same wedding the groom's speech included broken down costings of the entire wedding, "thank you to mum and dad for paying £5k for our photographer, thanks to gran for bride's 10k wedding dress, thanks to parents in law for spending £xk on the catering" which was really bizarre.

Any other stories of wild things said in wedding speeches?

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 22/09/2025 16:18

wannabedogwoman · 22/09/2025 16:14

Friend got married overseas then had an evening reception party in a room above a pub in her home town (all fine). They decided to have a 'top table' and speeches (also fine) but

  • Best man and groom each did a speech that focussed on how awful groom's ex wife and stories about what a 'crazy bitch' she as (their words, the stories made her sound like the victim of gaslighting) with a brief mention at the end about how lucky he was that his new wife was nothing like her. Would have been awful anyway but groom's young daughter by his first wife was there with his parents.
  • Bride made a speech that was basically a telling off for all the guests for not arriving early (for some reason it appears she planned to have guests queuing at the door ready for her to open it at the time stated on the invitation, with a special entry song playing) and not being dressed up enough (everyone was in 'going out' clothes but not the same sort of thing you'd wear to an all day wedding). Guests were warned that everyone would be expected to dance (they'd booked groom's friend as a DJ and his choice of hard core dance was not going down well, particularly with the older relatives.

The most tedious speech I've ever witnessed was at a colleague's wedding. The groom was clearly besotted with his new wife, which is lovely, but his speech was basically her life story. Not even any funny anecdotes etc, just what felt like hours of lists of her accomplishments for each year of her life. They had a projector and screen and showed photos to illustrate each one, then played videos of each of her friends saying where/when they met her and describing quite mundane things they'd done together (eg. I'm Lucy, I met Bride in 2004 when we worked at Tesco. We both like jigsaws and do the pub quiz on Tuesdays). Like a sort of low budget 'this is your life'.

That's boring af but incredibly sweet.

HeadsWinTailsLose · 22/09/2025 16:25

The best man was so drunk he couldn’t string a sentence together, he kept flicking through his cue cards but couldn’t save it.

separately the father of the bride at a recent wedding instead of toasting to the bride and groom toasted his daughter and her sister.

Mix56 · 22/09/2025 16:33

Groom's father, spent about 20 minutes talking about his sick wife's terminal illness, & her struggles & why she couldn't be there.
His 1st wife (who he had left for the OW) was present.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
Mix56 · 22/09/2025 16:35

Another: The Bride's father. Very tedious speech was all about the bride's wonderful sister

nooschmoo · 22/09/2025 16:38

TeenLifeMum · 21/09/2025 23:06

The key thing is pretty well known and was done a lot years ago. Early Facebook trend. It’s supposed to be lighthearted. Some crowds it would work but others not so much. Definitely wouldn’t have been one for my older relatives.

Show quote history

This happened at a wedding I was at many years ago. I was one of the women asked to give back a key, at the right point in the speech. The bride was aware it was going to happen, it was a joke against the groom not her, as he very much wasn’t/isn’t that type of man… it went down well 🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone found it funny. I guess you have to choose your audience and know the intent behind the joke.

Mafstonight · 22/09/2025 16:45

tartyflette · 22/09/2025 15:34

Good grief. Was it supposed to be a joke?

Show quote history

No it was 100% true

HelpMeUnpickThis · 22/09/2025 16:46

404PageNotFound · 21/09/2025 23:45

one where the father of the bride essentially spent 45 mins banging on about the talents and virtues of the bride's SISTER and didn't mention the bride once

And this is why we didn't have speeches when I got married. My father would have done exactly the same. We got dressed together at his house as we were leaving from there and when we went downstairs he said how lovely she looked. Didn't say a word to me.

@404PageNotFound

My heart emoji was meant to represent a hug, not condoning your dad’s thoughtlessness. 💐

itsAforapple · 22/09/2025 16:49

We didn’t have speeches, mainly because they are generally fucking boring!

Isitisit · 22/09/2025 16:49

FOB announced bride’s pregnancy in his speech that she had told family in confidence and was still super early.

Hercisback1 · 22/09/2025 16:58

Lesbian wedding and the great uncle of one of the brides did the FOB speech. He opened with "you both look so good, I'd shag you". AWKWARD.

SmudgeButt · 22/09/2025 17:10

Probably an urban myth but ..... supposedly a friend was a wedding and the groom got up to give his little speech about how much he loved his bride and how his best man had been his best friend since they were 10 and then finished with him saying "So I just want to thank my lovely bride and best friend for ruining my life by fucking last night". And then walked out.

And frankly I never believed that sort of thing would actually happen but then my brother found out his new wife had a bit on the side that looked almost exactly like him. Marriage lasted as long as it took to get divorced.

Thecatthatgotthesouredmilk · 22/09/2025 17:16

404PageNotFound · 21/09/2025 23:45

one where the father of the bride essentially spent 45 mins banging on about the talents and virtues of the bride's SISTER and didn't mention the bride once

And this is why we didn't have speeches when I got married. My father would have done exactly the same. We got dressed together at his house as we were leaving from there and when we went downstairs he said how lovely she looked. Didn't say a word to me.

@404PageNotFound that's awful. I'm so sorry.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/09/2025 17:25

CarefulN0w · 21/09/2025 22:21

Not remotely funny for DH & his siblings, but FIL deciding to do the father of the bride speech at his step-daughter’s wedding was quite the event. Especially when her actual father was there as a guest and FIL referred to said bride as his daughter.

What was stopping the actual father from making his own speech too? Or was FIL paying for the wedding?

DeeplyMovingExperience · 22/09/2025 17:28

A most excellent FOB speech I had the pleasure of witnessing alongside maybe 150 guests...

Father of the bride gave a most eloquent address, in which he disclosed that the grooms parents had failed to contribute the promised £5k to the wedding that they had offered, leaving a massive hole in the bill, for which the bride had to take out a loan, because it had turned out that the feckless groom didn't have a pot to piss in.

Cue the mother of the groom storming out of the wedding breakfast in a massively dramatic manner, while the FOB continued with his scathing address, all hell breaking loose on the top table. The father of the groom too drunk to realise what's going on. Crying and screeching from the grooms (hideously awful) sisters.

Just when we thought everything had died down, the hotel security running after the mother of the groom who had apparently refused to pay for their rooms and was trying to do a runner having not paid for a thing.

It was a most excellent wedding.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/09/2025 17:29

nooschmoo · 22/09/2025 16:38

This happened at a wedding I was at many years ago. I was one of the women asked to give back a key, at the right point in the speech. The bride was aware it was going to happen, it was a joke against the groom not her, as he very much wasn’t/isn’t that type of man… it went down well 🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone found it funny. I guess you have to choose your audience and know the intent behind the joke.

Show quote history

Not funny though is it really? I've been to the weddings of very shy, geeky men where the similar best man has tried to make out the groom had a wild youth and it's just very sad in both senses of the word.

NewsdeskJC · 22/09/2025 17:29

Father of the bride.
"Im not a fan of Rob. But I've told her I'm only paying for one wedding"
He wasn't wrong. Rob tucked off within 18 months, leaving her holding a baby.

ToffeeForEveryone · 22/09/2025 17:37

My father gave the same speech as he'd used 18 months earlier for my younger sister's wedding. Some minor differences but also long sections word for word. Frozen looks on many of the extended family guests from my side who of course had all been at the other wedding too. Absolutely mortifying and it still spoils my memories of the day.

nooschmoo · 22/09/2025 17:37

Gwenhwyfar · 22/09/2025 17:29

Not funny though is it really? I've been to the weddings of very shy, geeky men where the similar best man has tried to make out the groom had a wild youth and it's just very sad in both senses of the word.

Show quote history

It was in that situation. Groom found it funny, bride found it funny. That’s what I mean about knowing your audience-doing it to deliberately embarrass someone-not funny. Light hearted intent with people you know well-funny.

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 17:42

Is it a British thing or international? I always wince when speeches roll around. Though I’d find the grey goose comment quite funny personally.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/09/2025 17:44

Coffeeishot · 22/09/2025 13:57

Reading the wedding cards used to be a thing it was people who couldn't attend the best man used to read them out i mean I have not seen it in years but can definitely remember in the 80s and 90s they were read out.

And telegrams too, even not so long ago when nobody used telegrams for anything else. It was only for people who couldn't make it so not loads.

yellowjellytot · 22/09/2025 17:47

‘I can’t really say a lot about the bride as I’ve only met her once but I’m so glad my brother’s doing the right thing and marrying her as she’s pregnant’

OVienna · 22/09/2025 17:49

ToffeeForEveryone · 22/09/2025 17:37

My father gave the same speech as he'd used 18 months earlier for my younger sister's wedding. Some minor differences but also long sections word for word. Frozen looks on many of the extended family guests from my side who of course had all been at the other wedding too. Absolutely mortifying and it still spoils my memories of the day.

Have you told him? I think I might have.

Mothership4two · 22/09/2025 17:51

I have posted this before. BM started off giving lots of salacious details about groom's sex life when they first met, it went downhill from there, and ended with him revealing that he had had a child from a fling. Many of the guests (including us) and most of the bride's family were unaware, so that was quite the surprise. Later found out that B&G were rather floored by his speech - we'd assumed he's run it past at least one of them! It was very very awkward.

darklady64 · 22/09/2025 18:02

Two weddings come to mind. The first, the best man (who was actually quite upset his best mate was getting hitched) rambled on incoherently for what seems like hours before finally cracking a few jokes - in Latin! We thought he must be drunk, but apparently he hadn't touched a drop. At the same wedding, some guests (former colleagues from when the groom's father (not even present!) worked in Germany) got up to sing a folk song from their country to the guests. This would have been fine, but it had about 500 verses and every time they finished a verse, there would be a small outbreak of applause but then they set off on another verse.

The other one, the groom got up and said that there were two thoughts that went through his head when he proposed - one, relief that his bride had said yes, the second, that he hoped her Dad was going to pay for it all. Still, I suppose at least he put the money worries bit second!

Not too horrendous compared to some of the other stories on here, but soooo cringe!

Gwenhwyfar · 22/09/2025 18:10

nooschmoo · 22/09/2025 17:37

It was in that situation. Groom found it funny, bride found it funny. That’s what I mean about knowing your audience-doing it to deliberately embarrass someone-not funny. Light hearted intent with people you know well-funny.

Show quote history

In the two cases I can think of it wasn't to embarrass the grooms, it was to pretend they had a wild youth when they really hadn't and that was just pathetic.