What's the worst thing you've heard in a wedding speech?

[Jubblybub]

Was reading the thread about the best man's speech upsetting people and it got me thinking of some of the awful wedding speeches Ive had to listen to.

My BIL's best man at his wedding to my sister was awful, he made anti-semitic and homophobic comments in his speech (my sister's godfather is Jewish and gay and there were a number of gay and Jewish guests), made sexual remarks about my sister and had a really weird part of his speech that he had pre-recorded for everyone to watch. I won't go into specifics because it would be very outing but that section alone was 20 minutes long. The whole speech was excruciating and had me seriously wondering why my BIL has a friend like this (BIL could not be more different) never mind why he would have wanted this one as his best man.

At another wedding I went to, the father of the bride actually said at the beginning of his speech, "the bridesmaids and flower girls are looking beautiful, I hope there's no pedos here..." He then went on to talk about the stag do in great detail, including a strip club visit and how he had never had the experience of being in a nightclub with bottles of Grey Goose on their private table being accosted by beautiful, half-naked women until he met the groom and this was just one of the reasons why he was so happy to welcome him into the family. At the same wedding the groom's speech included broken down costings of the entire wedding, "thank you to mum and dad for paying £5k for our photographer, thanks to gran for bride's 10k wedding dress, thanks to parents in law for spending £xk on the catering" which was really bizarre.

Any other stories of wild things said in wedding speeches?

😲

@JDM625 My DH's best man had a form of this joke at our wedding, joke was on me - I think there was a few of DH's mates who handed back keys. It was 25 odd years ago and I found it hilarious, so much so I was going to look it up as I couldn't remember the actual joke! So thanks for that.

To other posters who think it's a poor show, I didn't find it disrespectful or unfunny - the guests roared, including my elderly parents, and so did I. Different times.

I’m so sorry 😢
I’m struggling to understand how a father can be SO agonisingly unaware … or was he being deliberately cruel?

Jesus Christ, that is deffo the worst so far… what is wrong with people???

I went to a service where the vicar kept blanking on the grooms very simple ( think Tom/Ben/Steve ) name - which was actually quite funny but causing some stress to the actual couple I think, who were nervous enough. it was a late in the day service and I think there’d been a wedding or 2 before…

My guess is that he was either trying to do a very very misguided attempt at dark humour, where you cope with something appalling by making a joke about it, or possibly he's one of those highly narcissistic parents who see their children as possessions and extensions of themselves and don't take anything they do seriously at all. I can absolutely see the child of a parent like that attempting suicide to show him just how serious her feelings are, but people like that rarely learn. They're just so incapable of seeing anyone as equal to them in feeling.

Yes, I'm struggling to find what was so hilarious about a suicide attempt. Hahahaha, blood and blades and depression, hahahaha, that's a real knee-slapper.

A friend of mine was at a wedding where the best man's speech included a story about knocking on the groom's hotel room door a few years previously and how he '...he opened the door stark bollock naked, with some ugly dog (woman) on the bed behind him'.

I feel sorry for the bride, marrying into this kind of family.

Not remotely funny - just utterly vile.

This thread is so sad. So many awful people spoiling weddings!
It makes me very grateful for the three very reasonable speeches at our wedding.

Ha ha ha I've just laughed out loud at this - fighting a chocolate fountain!!

💐

I was wondering that too…

Some of these are really funny and as a PP says public speaking is not for everyone.

The Father of the Bride ended his speech by saying that when the marriage ended, he and his wife would be there to support their daughter and welcome her home!!
Funnily enough the bride and groom did divorce a few years later and a huge factor in the break down of the marriage was the constant interference from the brides parents.

The other was a rambling Father of the Bride speech that lasted for nearly an hour!!! I have no idea what was said as we all switched off after the first 20 minutes.

He brought his own chop sticks? Presumably someone,.somewhere had validated this act before.

I guess people have different senses of humour. I think it’s funny too. I also thought that there was meant to be a certain amount of risqué humour in the best man’s speech. But maybe there isn’t nowadays. I got married in the 90s too.

Nothing that bad. Perhaps some slight embarrassment of the groom. The worst one was a groom that waffled on for an hour when we were all waiting to eat. I was heavily pregnant and practically chewing the table. Then they were divorced within two years.

Solidarity from a fellow daughter of a discarded first wife. How do these men not realize that people will notice how full of s**t they are?

Wtf???

Good grief. Was it supposed to be a joke?

This. My XH was best man for some bloke I didn’t know, but I was invited too which was nice - DC too. Anyway, XH had done NO prep in the slightest, tried to wing it. It was bad, mortifyingly embarrassing and very disrespectful. A little bit more of my love for him died that day…

Not wedding speeches but the Funeral eulogy for my mother. Given by her husband (not my father). Barely mentioned her, was essentially an advertisement for his services as an entertainer.

Oh lord. I’m vicariously mortified by these.

Friend got married overseas then had an evening reception party in a room above a pub in her home town (all fine). They decided to have a 'top table' and speeches (also fine) but

• Best man and groom each did a speech that focussed on how awful groom's ex wife and stories about what a 'crazy bitch' she as (their words, the stories made her sound like the victim of gaslighting) with a brief mention at the end about how lucky he was that his new wife was nothing like her. Would have been awful anyway but groom's young daughter by his first wife was there with his parents.
• Bride made a speech that was basically a telling off for all the guests for not arriving early (for some reason it appears she planned to have guests queuing at the door ready for her to open it at the time stated on the invitation, with a special entry song playing) and not being dressed up enough (everyone was in 'going out' clothes but not the same sort of thing you'd wear to an all day wedding). Guests were warned that everyone would be expected to dance (they'd booked groom's friend as a DJ and his choice of hard core dance was not going down well, particularly with the older relatives.

The most tedious speech I've ever witnessed was at a colleague's wedding. The groom was clearly besotted with his new wife, which is lovely, but his speech was basically her life story. Not even any funny anecdotes etc, just what felt like hours of lists of her accomplishments for each year of her life. They had a projector and screen and showed photos to illustrate each one, then played videos of each of her friends saying where/when they met her and describing quite mundane things they'd done together (eg. I'm Lucy, I met Bride in 2004 when we worked at Tesco. We both like jigsaws and do the pub quiz on Tuesdays). Like a sort of low budget 'this is your life'.

Me too! Horrifying. Am feeling very grateful for my dad, DH, and our lovely best man…