Why are three year olds so mortifying!?

[HairsprayBabe]

Just got a call from nursery - a wellness check - DD told her key worker that "mummy is very sick from drinking too much wine" 🙃

Key worker saw me at drop off and I was clearly not drunk or hungover - she just had to check and we laughed about it.

To be clear - I drink a few times a year, Christmas, weddings ect. and never to excess, 3 max 4 drinks. My children have never seen me drunk or throwing up hungover. I haven't even had a hangover since way before I had kids.

Me and DH and extended family have openly joked about pre-kids, uni life, hen-dos, weddings etc that have included "being sick from too much wine" - not just me! Which I know is where it has likely come from but I am SO embarrassed, really looking forwards to pick up this afternoon 😬maybe I do need a wine!

Make me feel better with the lovely things your little darlings have said about you!

When my son was small we were on a bus. A lady got on with a big head of frizzy curls and lots of make up, including heavily lined lips. Son shouted “look mummy, a clown”. Still shudder nearly 30 years later.

Just here for the funny anecdotes!

My sister's three year old announced to the doctors surgery waiting room: "Mummy's got an itchy 'gina". She'd overheard her mum talking to her friend on the phone about the doc's appointment.

We’re we’re walking through town at the weekend, and my daughter started shouting very loudly ‘those dogs are pissing, look mummy the dogs are PISSING’!

There were two dogs in front having a sniff, she thought they were kissing! 🤣

When I was 5 I was on the playground and a dinner lady asked what we had been doing the weekend before. She was very shocked when I replied “ I saw my mum blowing up my dad’s Willy like a beach ball”. At the time I was a chronic sleep walker and when I stumbled into my mums room at midnight she assumed I was asleep but I wasn’t. Her calm assurances as she escorted me back to bed made me think it was perfectly normal and so I had no problem openly discussing this. Then the dinner lady told the head teacher and mum got called in for a talk. She never stood at the gate again and from that day on she drive us to school every day to avoid the head.

When dd was about three we were in France walking round a small art gallery in a botanical garden. Nobody else in there. Dd wandered off, and Dh followed, finding her staring at paintings in the next room, singing softly to herself. He decided it was very cute, and made a video of her. It was only later that night that we watched the video, turned up the sound to find out what she was singing, and heard the words “Daddy’s in a box, Daddy can’t get out”

Walking my dog and son when he was around this age, a (large) lady walks in the other direction and she smiles and says hello and so do we. She'd hardly even passed us and he says, very clearly, "mummy that lady's fat" 🤫

I was on a packed commuter train really dressed up as I was going to a wedding, many years before I had a little person. The little girl sitting opposite me engaged me in conversation - I like your dress, where are you going - questions like that , she then leaned forward and asked me " do your knickers match your dress?"

I couldn't answer straight away as I was trying not to laugh but it went really quiet in the carriage and when I looked at her to reply everyone was looking at me waiting fir the answer (they were also trying not to laugh), her Mum looked mortified, and to round things off as she got up fir their stop she said goodbye and added "my Daddy would like your big boobies"

This is one of the funniest stories ever @GreenGodiva 😂

Those of us who were around in the 80s will remember the government health campaign during the AIDS epidemic. A friend was doing the weekly supermarket shop with her 3 year old in the trolley. Suddenly he announced in a loud booming voice which echoed round the store ‘AIDS kills - use a condom!’

My darling niece who was about 3 at the time, patted me on the knee and said:
"Aunty Wilxie, I really love your legs!"
"Thank you, that's a kind thing to say", I replied.
"Yes, they're big and strong like elephants legs!" 🤣

Walking into a packed lift with my DH and 3 year old. A lady behind us whispered to her husband that she didn't like lifts.

My son proclaimed very loudly and clearly "we're going to die in here"

Could have heard a pin drop!

This is hilarious. As a past member of Slimming World I think his assessment would have been far more motivational than the boring talks we were subjected to after weigh ins.

Oh my god, I'm crying! 😂😂😂

Mine has speech and language struggles. Reindeer used to come out closer to wanker. Used to be great fun walking through town at Christmas and he'd shout "Mummy look! A Wanker!". To be fair, he was probably right on both counts.

Just spat out my tea!!!!!!

My ds had a habit of creeping up behind me when small , i turned with a plate in my hand not knowing he was there . He delightfully told nursery "my mummy hit me on the head with a plate because I was being too quiet "

hahahha omg this had me in stitches

My dc would have been about 4,5 and 6 when I was was outside the local supermarket (we where standing just outside the doors)

A day or so before,id bought them baseball caps in the gap sale (relevant)

I bumped into someone i knew and got chatting as you do

The kids didn't get all whingy (which I didn't notice) but I was getting some very odd looks from people walking past

It took me about 5 minutes to notice the kids had lined themselves up,caps in hand and saying 'change please' to anyone walking past

They'd made £2.67 by the time I noticed!

My then 3ish year old son asked a short haired slightly butch lady we know if her dog was a boy or girl, then "are you a boy or girl?"

One of mine did that. Worse thing was although I was quite petite I have always had a pot tummy and a few comments caused some people embarrassment.

Aged 2, my DS pointed at a picture of Boris Johnson on the front page of the newspaper in a supermarket and shouted 'daddy!'. Unfortunately, DS had a big shock of bright blonde hair at that age so I was worried people really would think he was one of Johnson's many, many children...

Amazing

My niece, aged about 3 and a half at the time. walked into the room while I was having a sneaky scratch. She didn't appear to notice, but later that day I took her to the bookshop to buy some treats and clear as a whistle she says 'Auntie Big, is your bum still itchy?' I wanted to die 😭

🤣🤣🤣