The Brass Neck of It. CF

[Nayyercheekyfeckers]

So, I volunteer for a local football team for kids. Last night the leader asked if anyone could pick up a new boy who was joining the club. He lives a short walk (less than ten mins) from the pitch. It's a few minutes out of my way, but apparently his mother is heavily pregnant and therefore unable to take him. I've never met him or his family before. I foolishly make the assumption that she is very heavily pregnant, doesn't drive and that she either lives alone or her husband works away. I have some sympathy because my husband works abroad so I am currently doing all the childcare, as well as working and volunteering. As a grass roots local club, inclusion is important, so I agree.

I am slightly surprised to show up at a large house with 2 cars on the drive. She confirms that I am ok to drop him back home again and I agree as I can see that she is pregnant, so I assume struggling. Upon enquiring she says that she is due in November, so not for another 2-3 months.
So imagine my surprise, upon returning their son, to find his dad stood on the drive polishing his top of the range Ferrari, having just unloaded his golf clubs!!
The mother answers the door, thanks me but says that she just wants to confirm that I will be continuing to do the lifts from now on.
I declined the offer to be their free taxi service. She was disappointed but said that she would have to contact the leader to see what he could do!

Honestly, I just don't understand. What goes on in some people's heads?? Why would anyone be happy for their young child to go off with someone they had never met before? Why couldn't she walk him there and her husband pick him up? Why couldn't she drive him there? Why couldn't her husband do the lifts? Why couldn't she arrange a lift share? There are a few other boys from the same school and class who attend and live in the same village close by. Why not pay for some wrap around care if you can afford multiple top of the range cars? Why arrange for your child to join a club, sign them up and buy new kit, without knowing how they are going to get there? The mind boggles at this level of cheeky fuckery! The more that I've thought about it, the more audacious it seems and I just needed to vent!

Come share your stories of cheeky fuckery with me.

Well done for putting your foot down. That is cheeky fuckery of the highest order.

Having volunteered at a sports club this doesn’t surprise me at all. The CFery of some parents is astonishing. We had one parent complain very loudly that our bursary & an additional free training session excluded her children as it was for state school pupils only - her 3 children all went to a very expensive private school with 5 hours of high level coaching a week from an ex England player!! Assumptions that volunteer coaches will drop everyone home after matches, parents leaving really very young kids unaccompanied during matches and training, wanting personal reminders about everything - the list goes on.

That is dreadful but I'm not sure how you were ever in that position. I run a children's club and one of the first rules is that you never, ever give any child a lift. This is for safe guarding and insurance reasons (not to mention covering the arse of the largely useless organisation we are part of). It also avoids this exact scenario though - 'much as I'd love to help, unfortunately I just can't '

Parents can be absolute fuckers though (I"m looking at you, tosspot, it starts at 4.30, no you didn't misunderstand when you kicked your child out of the car at 4.05 to get to your middle aged man football match. I am not your free childcare!!!! )

Some parents really don’t care who cares for their kids do they? Give the leader a heads up that the parents are capable to make their own arrangements.

I used to manage a youth football team. Single mum of two DC, no contact with their father whatsoever, running my own business, just keeping my head above water.

Omg, the CFery from two parent families! Can I pick up/drop off. Can they pay subs next week. Oh there's a match 20 miles away, can I pick up their beloved, as well as taking my two, and another parent overhears so I can I pick up them too. Plus taking all of the kit, about 100 footballs, filling all the water bottles...bloody nightmare.

Thank you. I'm a massive walkover, but have been getting my training from Mumsnet in how to be less of a sap!

It absolutely 100% did happen. I'm a long time poster but name changed for this post. You do know that troll hunting is not allowed don't you? If you suspect me of making it up, by all means report me. I have nothing to hide.

Worked in a Scottish state secondary.

A senior pupil disappeared for a fortnight. Supposedly at her granny's funeral. In Colorado...Apparently, she was actually on a a skiing holiday.

When she got back, there was a demand for my department to provide catch-up classes during the Easter holidays. I explained that no-one in my department was providing an Easter school class. There was a demand that I explain why.

I wrote to the parent: "Quite simply, all members of [my] department will be on holiday."

You don’t believe in Ferraris?

That's awful. I do quite a bit of voluntary work and it's a real eye-opener. The utter ignorance and selfishness of those who never volunteer their own time at all! They have no idea of how long things take to do or the amount of paperwork/organisation involved. They just view leaders as some faceless organisation and not as other parents who are making sacrifices for the benefit of their children. We have a volunteers list for things like bbq fundraisers. Trying to get parents to take turns selling canned drinks or manning the burger stand for a half hour slot is like pulling teeth. Yet you will see all the parents at the events happily tucking in and enjoying the fun aspects of the day. It's always the same people who volunteer and who do everything and always the same people who avoid doing a thing.

@ShutupkeithSame..

OMG. That's unbelievable. That is exactly the type of story that I was after to make my CF experience seem not half as bad 🤣

Evidently some people own Ferraris and presumably they occasionally polish them.

When i volunteered the first rule of safeguarding training was to never be with another child alone. If you didn't have another adult in the car you did not pick up any other children. Very surprised this is allowed.
Think you were right to say no more lifts anyway, don't sign your child up to a club unless you are prepared to take them

When i volunteered the first rule of safeguarding training was to never be with another child alone. If you didn't have another adult in the car you did not pick up any other children. Very surprised this is allowed.
Think you were right to say no more lifts anyway, don't sign your child up to a club unless you are prepared to take them

Why on earth is that unbelievable? People with fancy cars or motorbikes spend a lot of time maintaining them. Unless a billionaire who will pay for it to get done, it’s often part of the hobby. My dad spends a lot of time polishing his motorbike.

Good on you OP for not becoming a doormat. The child’s dad will have to leave golf early next time to take HIS child to football.

I'm now retired. In my experience, the parents who demanded free tuition etc were the parents of the children who disrupted the learning of others. (That very much applies to Colorado girl.)

I completely agree with you

Some people are just absolute freeloaders and expect other people to pick up after them

The dad polishing the Ferrari is the icing on the cake tbh

The sort of people who own cars like that most certainly do polish them. Have you ever seen a dirty one?!! In fairness he wasn't just polishing it. He was also checking the tyre pressure and doing something else which involved revving the car extremely loudly, which reverberated and bounced off the neighbouring houses. Perhaps for full disclosure I should have said 'playing with his car'.

There are so many of these CFs! My youngest has just started secondary so hopefully I won't have so many to swerve now.

I've told his one before but when my eldest was at cubs our after school nanny would drop him off and I'd pick up, often rushing from the station after work. Another mum, Mum 2, who was lovely suggested we could take turns picking up. That was great as I then only had the rush every other week. She was already in an arrangement whereby she dropped off and picked up the son of Mum 3 as Mum 3 didn't drive. So I also picked up Child 3 and dropped him home - fine.

I then went on maternity leave and Mum 2 and I shared both drop offs and pick ups for all 3 kids. Mum 2 then had surgery and couldn't drive for a few weeks so I then did both legs for all 3 kids, fine.

One day my car was at the mechanics so I messaged the other Mums to say I would still take the boys (and my husband would pick up) but we'd need to walk and set off earlier. Mum 2 said great thanks. Mum 3 said "oh Child 3 doesn't like walking and my husband is home from work by then so he'll drive him". NO offer of a lift for the other two.

I was too gobsmacked to say anything at the time but afterwards I said I would continue to do one way but Husband 3 needed to do the other. He agreed but was clearly not happy about it and a few weeks later mum 3 said Child 3 was giving up Cubs I suspect because neither parent could be arsed.

My exh never ever dropped off or picked up our 2 boys from football training or games .. For probably a decade..
Always showed his face at presentation nights though.. To bask in their glory. They were indeed excellent players.. Shame he never saw a single game.

One of the best I've heard recently was our friend had a party for their kid, invited the neighbor's two sons.

The party was held at a venue 20 minutes as way. Friend has their kids - so mum, dad, and three kids in the car = 5 people.

Cheeky fucker neighbor asked that they take their kids with them to the party, and bring them back. In addition to you know, feeding and supervising the kids at the (expensive) party all day.

Just shocking. I'd never ever ask someone to do that.

In fairness to him, he might not just have played golf. He might have just taken the clubs out of the boot in order to tinker with/clean his car. And he may have returned from work or a conference earlier than expected. However, that still doesn't explain the expectation that someone else will do the lifts going forward. You can't just sign your kids up to stuff if you have no way or idea how to get them there.

I see it as a dad who thinks a round of golf is more important than taking his children to a sporting activity. A mum who tries to cover for his behaviour.

Well done OP.