Page 6 | The Brass Neck of It. CF

Cabinqueen · 10/09/2025 19:15

Ilovepastafortea · 10/09/2025 18:32

Possibly not entirely relevant to the original post, but prompted by the PP who told the story about meals provided by SS.

I live on an estate for over 60's. Most of the resident's are far older than DH & me and we both support our neighbours regularly visiting for a chat, doing their shopping, their gardens etc. We're also the emergency contact for some of them who have alarms.

We've seen the meals that are delivered to them by SS. Baked potato that is so overdone that there's very little actual potato left & people with dentures can't manage the skins, half a tomato & 2 slices of cucumber as their main meal, ham sandwich for lunch -not so bad, but given to a lady who is Jewish (aged 98, was German, & survived the Holocaust because she was blonde & 'passed' for Aryan with forged papers, she even worked as a secretary for the SS & was able to save many people by 'losing' their records) who has told them more than once that she can't eat pork - she was offered prawns as an alternative. 😱She's yet to be reassured that all dairy products are kosher so won't eat their cheese sandwiches or cheese salads. We're in the darkest SW of England & so Kosher & Halal food isn't a common request, but you'd think that a company employed by the LA would know about these things FFS! Our residents get salads that comprise a few lettuce leaves, half a tomato & a couple of slices of cucumber with grated cheese on the top - again a challenge for an elderly person who has problems chewing & surely not enough calories to constitute a main meal?

DH & me end up making a vat of chicken soup, bolognaise, cottage pies, Homity Pie, Lord Wootton pie etc (all Kosher as I've read up on it, consulted with our neighbour & keep kitchen implements & ingredients separate for the job) & we feed at least 4 elderly people several times a week. These people don't have relatives nearby & need someone to look out for them. SS isn't doing the job so we take up the slack.

However we reap the rewards - we get to hear their stories which are fascinating, sometime sad but often very funny & sometimes rather naughty(!) I also help out at the local primary school helping in their veg garden, listening to children read, looking after the school pets etc and we have plans for some of our residents to visit the school to tell their memories to the children and to answer the children's questions about the 'old days'.

Edited

You and your husband are appreciated for your efforts of that I am sure 👏🏼👏🏼😇😇🤩🤩

333FionaG · 10/09/2025 19:22

Safeguarding round here means no unrelated/designated adult can give lifts to other children. I would simply respond with that information if you're ever asked to provide transport for a child again.

Btowngirl · 10/09/2025 19:27

When I was a newly qualified 21 year old nurse, I bed bathed a bloke who had had a leg amputation. Once I was finished, fresh sheets on etc, the CF stood up and walked to the loo on his crutches for a pee!

ChampagneLassie · 10/09/2025 19:40

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GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 10/09/2025 19:40

It’s not good safeguarding practice for you to be giving lifts of a child on your own.

Shade17 · 10/09/2025 19:43

PiggyPigalle · 10/09/2025 14:47

You must know your Ferraris to recognise it was top of the range. Unloading his golf clubs too. What a cliche.

If the OP actually knew Ferraris, they’d know that a top of the range one won’t take a set of golf clubs.

Cardemomle · 10/09/2025 19:46

Why would he be cleaning his own Ferrari?
They cost c.£350k, you'd have it valeted properly. They come to your house.
I'm surprised he left it on the drive as well.

naiveandrestles · 10/09/2025 19:54

Nayyercheekyfeckers · 10/09/2025 13:18

So, I volunteer for a local football team for kids. Last night the leader asked if anyone could pick up a new boy who was joining the club. He lives a short walk (less than ten mins) from the pitch. It's a few minutes out of my way, but apparently his mother is heavily pregnant and therefore unable to take him. I've never met him or his family before. I foolishly make the assumption that she is very heavily pregnant, doesn't drive and that she either lives alone or her husband works away. I have some sympathy because my husband works abroad so I am currently doing all the childcare, as well as working and volunteering. As a grass roots local club, inclusion is important, so I agree.

I am slightly surprised to show up at a large house with 2 cars on the drive. She confirms that I am ok to drop him back home again and I agree as I can see that she is pregnant, so I assume struggling. Upon enquiring she says that she is due in November, so not for another 2-3 months.
So imagine my surprise, upon returning their son, to find his dad stood on the drive polishing his top of the range Ferrari, having just unloaded his golf clubs!!
The mother answers the door, thanks me but says that she just wants to confirm that I will be continuing to do the lifts from now on.
I declined the offer to be their free taxi service. She was disappointed but said that she would have to contact the leader to see what he could do!

Honestly, I just don't understand. What goes on in some people's heads?? Why would anyone be happy for their young child to go off with someone they had never met before? Why couldn't she walk him there and her husband pick him up? Why couldn't she drive him there? Why couldn't her husband do the lifts? Why couldn't she arrange a lift share? There are a few other boys from the same school and class who attend and live in the same village close by. Why not pay for some wrap around care if you can afford multiple top of the range cars? Why arrange for your child to join a club, sign them up and buy new kit, without knowing how they are going to get there? The mind boggles at this level of cheeky fuckery! The more that I've thought about it, the more audacious it seems and I just needed to vent!

Come share your stories of cheeky fuckery with me.

Where are your safeguarding procedures? Was there another adult with you? You shouldnt be driving around with a young kid and no other adult. It puts you ask risk of various allegations.

Cardemomle · 10/09/2025 20:06

naiveandrestles · 10/09/2025 19:54

Where are your safeguarding procedures? Was there another adult with you? You shouldnt be driving around with a young kid and no other adult. It puts you ask risk of various allegations.

Show quote history

Good points. No notion of Safeguarding, it would seem.

Wadadli · 10/09/2025 20:07

Nayyercheekyfeckers · 10/09/2025 13:18

So, I volunteer for a local football team for kids. Last night the leader asked if anyone could pick up a new boy who was joining the club. He lives a short walk (less than ten mins) from the pitch. It's a few minutes out of my way, but apparently his mother is heavily pregnant and therefore unable to take him. I've never met him or his family before. I foolishly make the assumption that she is very heavily pregnant, doesn't drive and that she either lives alone or her husband works away. I have some sympathy because my husband works abroad so I am currently doing all the childcare, as well as working and volunteering. As a grass roots local club, inclusion is important, so I agree.

I am slightly surprised to show up at a large house with 2 cars on the drive. She confirms that I am ok to drop him back home again and I agree as I can see that she is pregnant, so I assume struggling. Upon enquiring she says that she is due in November, so not for another 2-3 months.
So imagine my surprise, upon returning their son, to find his dad stood on the drive polishing his top of the range Ferrari, having just unloaded his golf clubs!!
The mother answers the door, thanks me but says that she just wants to confirm that I will be continuing to do the lifts from now on.
I declined the offer to be their free taxi service. She was disappointed but said that she would have to contact the leader to see what he could do!

Honestly, I just don't understand. What goes on in some people's heads?? Why would anyone be happy for their young child to go off with someone they had never met before? Why couldn't she walk him there and her husband pick him up? Why couldn't she drive him there? Why couldn't her husband do the lifts? Why couldn't she arrange a lift share? There are a few other boys from the same school and class who attend and live in the same village close by. Why not pay for some wrap around care if you can afford multiple top of the range cars? Why arrange for your child to join a club, sign them up and buy new kit, without knowing how they are going to get there? The mind boggles at this level of cheeky fuckery! The more that I've thought about it, the more audacious it seems and I just needed to vent!

Come share your stories of cheeky fuckery with me.

Well done - CFs indeed

TheGetAlongGang · 10/09/2025 21:07

My mother is a beaver leader

The amount of cfs who think she should put up with their demands because they think she's getting paid for it,is unbelievable (she's a volunteer)

One woman wouldn't show up for weeks (blocking the place of another child who wanted the place) and refuse to pay the subs or drop her kid off and then demand my mother gave him a lift back as she couldn't drive him (she'd cracked open the wine and dad couldnt be arsed to walk down) and the kid was really naughty and cheeky to the adults/nasty and bullying to the other kids

They do a march for st George's day and it's a massive honour to hold the flag

My ds had been every single week for the year,had done the church services that my mother had set up,had been really polite and helped the leaders when asked etc

So my mother decided that he could hold the flag that year (which was a big deal as she didn't normally choose my kids as they where her grandchildren and she hates favouritism)

The out-cry from cf!

She howled that it was unfair that 'hes only doing it because his nan is the bloody leader!','my child deserves to hold the flag!'and 'this isn't fair to my child!'

She was told by the second in command that if her child showed up every week,helped the leaders,had gone to the church services and hadnt been a pain in the arse,then he would have been in with a chance

She flounced taking her poor son with her

My mother said it was no great loss and turned to the next child on the list who appreciated the place

coxesorangepippin · 10/09/2025 21:57

Why are the most recent posters quoting the hugely long op?!!

Just why?

Nomdemare · 10/09/2025 23:15

Without sounding facetious, I can’t believe anyone would be out polishing their car in this current inclement weather. It’s been really rainy for the last couple of days.,We also have a hosepipe ban in our area too.
Depends on the type of Ferrari too; don’t think you’d get a set of clubs into a Dino, but what do I know ,)

MyDeftHedgehog · 11/09/2025 09:26

I love a good CF story and so much CFery seems to revolve around folk trying to offload their kids onto others. I was asked by a mum at school to pick up her child once a week and mind him for 30 minutes until she finished college. I agreed.
Unfortunately the 30 minutes seemed to increase weekly until it was about 3 hours. The final straw was one week when I went to school and waited for this kid. My son came out and all the other kids but after 15 minutes no sign of this child. I went into school and asked where he was as he hadn't emerged, teacher informed me that his mum had picked him up early for a dental appointment
I was bloody furious and vowed never to agree to picking other peoples kids up ever again

JudgeJ · 11/09/2025 09:35

Some years ago, my manager took on a YTS girl who lived about half a mile from me. She didn’t drive and the bus service was crap. So manager asked if I’d bring her to work with me…

At least you were asked! A woman I didn't recognised came up to me in school, she said she had just got a job as a classroom assistant and she'd been told that as she didn't drive etc I would be giving her a lift, morning and after school. I soon explained that it wasn't possible and the Deputy Head who'd told her wasn't pleased with me at all, apparently I was selfish. The drive to and from work were about the only time I had to myself all day and I valued it, even sat in a traffic jam.

MyDeftHedgehog · 11/09/2025 10:24

I worked at a well known supermarket about 8 miles from home. I used to give a lift home sometimes to those who didnt drive and lived near me. One girl wanted to pick up one or two bits after work so I said no worries ill wait in the car outside.
25 minutes later I went back inside to find out wtf she was doing and saw her approaching the checkout with a full trolley of goods. By now rush hour had started so it took twice as long to get home😬 safe to say she was never offered another lift home!!

BrieAndChilli · 11/09/2025 10:30

I don't have a problem sharing lifts, helping people out etc and thankfully most of the people I know reciprocate. It doesnt always have to be like for like - before I learnt to drive I would have lifts from friends or they would take my child to playschool if DG was on a shift. I worked evenings so I would often do childcare for the same friends during the day so although I wasnt returning the lifts I was helping out in other ways. Once I learnt to drive and had a 7 seater car I would go out of my way to give lifts etc.

The CFs just do not seem to understand that favours are a two way street! I slowly distance myself from these sorts!

DoubleEspressoForMe · 11/09/2025 16:45

Having volunteered for some time, at weekends to take kids out for DofE etc, usually all day sometimes all weekend, the number of parents who simply couldn't be bothered to pick their child up at the correct time blew my mind. We could be waiting for absolutely ages in the pouring rain, despite regular communication about timings etc. Some parents just give no sh*ts

HobnobsChoice · 11/09/2025 17:05

@Ilovepastafortea

There are some shuls in the South West who may be able to support this lady, especially one who is such a Mensch saving others from the Nazi regime at risk to herself when she was only a teen herself . It's a very important history to record as well as she is approaching 100
If she's not requiring kosher meat then she's probably not too observant but Chabad Bristol might be able to assist and there's also a community and kosher food available in Bournemouth and a congregation in Exeter too. Please message me if you would like to know more or to be signed posted specifically. I can also put you in touch with historians who would be happy to do oral history recordings with this lady

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/09/2025 17:06

CF tales...

How about - breeder of my dog, some years down the line calls me and asks can I take her two dogs (giant, literally one of the tallest breeds in existance) for two weeks as she's trying to move house and its all a bit of a nightmare.

Now she had my dog (that she bred) for a week many years earlier, during dogs season, to get her away from my very randy young small breed dog at the crucial point.

I fetched dog to her, supplied ample food for the week - on collecting, I let her keep left over food (same that her dogs ate) and gave her a nice bottle of wine and big bunch of flowers.

So I figured I would return the favour...

NINE WEEKS LATER...

Nine weeks of her being hard to get hold of, totally silent, only responding when I get mutual friends to poke her - chasing her weekly for food for these dogs...

I had to give both a full groom, they were matted, they had poop stuck round their bums (think they'd been in kennels and she couldn't afford to pay kennels any more), they absolutely stank.

I had to replace their collars, both were frayed and dangerous - and supply leads, they came with a sack of cheap food and nothing else.

She turned up to collect in a brand new 4x4, muttered a begrudging thanks because she'd had to change plans to come get them, something she mentioned at least five times in the 15 minute she was here.

And that was it, no recompense for the food I'd had to buy the weeks she was totally AWOL, no recognition that her huge matted stinky beasts were now fresh and clean and show-ring ready (one won its class only days later - so she had been thinking about them to enter the class in advance!)... no apology for pissing me about for months.

You live and learn!

atinydropofcherrysherry · 11/09/2025 17:08

That's why they are rich. Using others

user1471538283 · 11/09/2025 17:11

My DS had a friend whose mum didn't have a car so his other friend's mum and I took it in turns to give lifts with all 3. When the carless mum had a car she never once gave a lift. The second my DS and these friends left primary he was dropped.

Some people are users and rely on you feeling sorry for their DCs. No. You've got your own to look after

FeeLipa · 11/09/2025 17:12

Years ago, on a scout WhatsApp parent group, someone asked for a lift for their ds to archery camp. They were going away for the weekend and had to catch a flight.

Turns out the flight was the next morning and she wanted to spend the evening packing rather than in M25 traffic. I helped this kid carry his bags from the carpark to the furthest camping spot possible on site.

Another CF scout parent asked for a lift to a scout bike competition. Argued with me when I said I couldn't fit both DDs and another bike in my car, then suggested I buy a bike rack.

Manthide · 11/09/2025 17:12

I appreciate the purpose of safeguarding but as someone who has had to give their licence up due to eyesight, whose dd3 goes to an activity 9 miles away once a week (not far from her school) it can make things difficult. They have recently stopped buses after about 6pm to our area (the activity finishes at 1830) and one of the leaders is a friend of dm and lives near us. Dd3 is almost 18 and doesn't want to give up the activity as she is now the most senior person.

Liverpool52 · 11/09/2025 17:15

For those doubting the Op because they don't think someone with a Ferrari would be polishing it themselves. Someone near where I live has an Aston Martin and I regularly see him out polishing it, even in the pouring rain.