Gone from ‘Well Off’ to ‘Completely Skint’? Please tell me about it!

[BenignKipper]

I have had it verrrrrry easy and I knew it. Good professional monthly salary, able to throw stuff in my trolley at M&S Simply Food and not worry about what it would come to, nice wardrobe from Toast and Zadig etc. Are you running a marathon for a good cause? Great, of course I will sponsor you £30 etc etc.

But my circumstances have seriously changed. Salary the same but divorce means I am looking at £10-15 a day disposable income after bills and travel. I’ve pared everything back in my budget and I can survive (obviously).

But I know it will be a shock to my system, emotionally/socially - it seems scary. Has anyone done this? Do you have any tips to navigate it?

This happened to me, though through husband becoming disabled and unable to work rather than divorce.

I do remember a moment of realising that I could still get free books to read at the library, that ds would still get a perfectly good education, and that we could still get healthcare free at the point of use. It really reassured me.

Start searching for an NHS dentist NOW if you don’t have one and get registered.

Aim to have at least £1000 as an unexpected bills fund. We had £400 back then and it saved our bacon many times.

Stay social but cheerfully refuse invitations you know you can’t afford, and actively invite people to things you can afford so you control the costs. Coffee and pancake brunch for example, or afternoon tea (they don’t have to know that the cake and biscuits are your main meal of the day). Meet up with friends for a beautiful local walk with a flask of tea. Don’t go to dinner expecting to order just a starter, someone will always expect to split the bill.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. I hope you've taken time to process etc.

In terms of money saving/being more frugal:

• You mentioned liking the idea of swimming in rivers. Join your local Bluetits group, they're a wild swimming organisation and most regions have one. They're friendly communities and offer lots of meet ups. Wild swimming in groups is safest when you're a beginner. They're free to join and there are lots of places that are free to swim.

• If you go to the supermarket on an evening, you can get some decent yellow sticker bargains. I know you don't have much freezer space, but I've found joints of beef for £2-3 before which is a nice treat. I also buy things like scotch pancakes and bagels for 20p and freeze them.

• batch cook, even if it's just a bigger version of a regular meal. I batch cook Bolognese. I freeze it into 12 blocks big enough to feed my family of three. It means that when nobody can be bothered there's something nutritious in the freezer that takes zero effort.

• If you have transferable skills and free time, it's worth looking into doing something like online tutoring or freelancing for a few hours a week to bring in a little more money

• Also look into comping if you have free time there's no guarantee you'll win anything but the community is lovely and some people win loads of stuff!

• If you go walking, have a look and see if you can forage anything. One winter I foraged loads of sloes. I steeped them in gin and sugar for 12 months and then gifted everyone bottles of sloe gin. You can also forage plums, apples, crab apples, berries and make all sorts. Chutneys, jams, jellies, crumbles etc.

Good luck!

yes. I didn’t have quite as good a budget as you before, but due to divorce I had to change everything. What I chose to do was take on more work. I did a full time job before but it wouldn’t cover my mortgage, bills and food after the divorce. I also have two children (always at state school anyway so that didn’t need to change). I now do that same job, plus another full time job freelancing in evenings and weekends. And even then I don’t have much to spare. But I couldn’t stay in my marriage and my two children are better off with their parents apart. I don’t ever compare the before and after as I was so miserable before. I am now horrifically overworked and tired but at least I’m independent. And happy.

Oh and I batch cook. Plus the children always have packed lunches at school never cafe food. We gave up tons of after school clubs and they were actually happier for it. I look after all our clothes very carefully. I socialise at home and make simple dinners at my house for friends.

Food isn’t disposable income. In which case yes you are skint as we pay £400 on food alone (with 1 extra teen).

Look on the free stuff sites such as Freecycle or Freegle for home gym equipment then you can do things at home if you have to stop going to the gym. People are always giving stuff away that they buy and never use.

Once you find that dentist, make sure you go to a checkup as often as they require. I forgot for a period of time, got chucked off the list and it’s probably been my most expensive mistake.

Lidl is your friend! Also many supermarkets like Waitrose do 'fresh Monday's' on Uber eats where you can get good quality food half price. It's a godsend for us. Honestly you'll be fine, it sounds like you're sensible x

Write down everything. Log all your income,expenses and spending, to the penny. So you can see it. It's very easy to overspend especially when you haven't had to budget previously.

Cut out all wants for the time being and just buy what's necessary.
Batch cook and freeze food.
Discounts/yellow sticker items.
Sell anything you have already but don't need.
Second job.
Don't feel guilty about saying no to possible expensive meet ups with friends/family. Look at cheaper places to go. Most reasonable friends/family will understand.
Budget for gifts or let your loved ones know why you might not be able to give.
Bargains can be found on Ebay, Vinted etc but they are only bargains if you really needed them.
It's sound like you have a lovely son and he is old enough to understand. It might be good to speak to him about your financial situation so he understands why things need to change for now.

Thank you, thank you to everyone. And big love to those who have been/are going through the same thing.

For context, DS’s dad will feed him and give him some stuff but will not take proper responsibility. ExDH likes clothes shopping so that should be covered for DS.

Unfortunately I cannot work any harder, my job is pretty consuming and also irregular hours. But I am needed so it is secure. Extra hug to anyone dealing with job challenges as well.

I was the main breadwinner and got made redundant. I had some savings but they would only see me through for 3-6 months and I had no idea how long it would take to find work again. Things I did:

• Cancelled all subscription services
• Used Olio for free food, later became a volunteer as well and had 'first pick'
• Worked freelance while looking for a permanent job
• Sold unused clothing/furniture items on Vinted and Facebook Marketplace
• Batch cooked and replaced meat items with lentils, chickpeas
• Stopped buying organic food
• Made use of the free items at my children's school (clothing, food) -- they had a small stall to prevent waste
• Found out at what time supermarket staff reduced foods so I got to have items on 70% off -- used my chest freezer
• Obviously didn't go out for lunch/dinner anymore and didn't use takeaway services

It was sometimes a bit miserable, but overall pretty doable.

My best tip is keep very careful track of all of your income and spending over the next month or so without trying to make any big cuts -- that will give you a sense of where you currently are, and help you to think about which cuts will be most manageable for you.

My other suggestion is buy a cheap slow cooker and go (mostly) vegetarian. You'll save a lot on food that way.

Also when meal planning, make sure you have something in the house that you can assemble into a very quick meal, for those days when you're just exhausted and don't have the energy. (For me, that's pasta with a v quick sauce like spinach and ricotta). That will help resist the temptation to grab a takeaway or a ready meal. If eating out occasionally is important to you (it is to me!) -- think about going out for lunch or for a pizza instead of a fancier meal.

It's not much OP, especially if you could buy what you like before it's going to be tough.

Tough, but just about doable.

I would definitely get on Olio and Too Good To Go for cheap food.

Look at taking part in market research things, that can often earn you an extra £20 here and there.

Meet friends for drinks not food and just have water or lime soda.

What are your biggest bills? Any way you can reduce your rent? Get a bike instead of use the bus / tube?

Encourage your friends to do free things, like going for a walk, local museums etc. don’t just say no to doing things or you will feel very
isolated. If they truly are your friends they will understand.

I highly recommend completing Rebel Finance School’s free online course on YouTube, it’s really empowering. It’s run by a couple who have been awarded MBE’s for services to financial education. They are not selling anything and it’s very accessible learning. The 2025 course just recently finished but is available on YouTube for the rest of the year so you can watch at your own pace. The early weeks will be particularly useful for you now but all of it will help you feel more confident about your future. Their broader content also includes ideas on side hustles and ways to increase income. I’ve recommended them to a number of friends. Wishing you well!

£15 a day to cover all food for two people one of whom is a teenage boy does sound quite low especially as any emergency repairs have to come out of that. I do not know your exact situation obviously but is your son’s father paying any child support/enough and have you checked that you are not now entitled to any benefits (gov.uk entitledto benefit checker) is son in full time education still or working and training?

This has happened to me a few times. I'd have a good think about what really matters to you and prioritise that. For me that was a coffee everyday after school drop off. Perhaps it is frivolous, but it made me feel 'normal' when so much around me wasn't. It was my lifeline. I cancelled my gym membership (hated going anyway) and did videos at home. I learned how to do my own nails and pedicures at home (can't believe I used to spend over a grand a year on nails!)
I also do my own eyebrows at home and my hair at salon schools (lots of great facebook groups for this).

I sold and bought all my clothes (including dc's) on vinted. I sold all jewellery and odd bits of gold like one earring etc in pawnshops.

I looked after my food budget. Had a few very cheap meals every week like pasta pesto, grilled cheese toastie etc. Yellow labels.

I went through my statements with a fine tooth comb and made sure I cancelled all subscriptions I dont use. They added up to quite alot.

I agree with a PP who said it was liberating. It absolutely is. I almost feel disgusted at the sheer amount of money I used to just frit away.

Will add more as I think of it.

A few ideas that may not have been mentioned by other posters. If you switch your bank current account to Lloyds, you can have Disney + for a year free as your reward; if your DS can get a part time job in hospitality, he will get free food on shifts from many employers and also staff discount. My DD works at Nandos and the food allowance is very generous and staff discount is 40%. If you are in or near London, you can get theatre tickets on TodayTix for as little as £20 sometimes. Obviously this would still be a luxury, but might be affordable once or twice a year. Compare prices and costs for absolutely everything before renewing.

From what you are saying it seems as though the money thing will, whilst being a bit painful, is secondary to the serenity you will feel from not being in a bad relationship.

I know I went from a house…not masses of money, to a hostel, I had no job, no prospects and two children under four…and the peace I had was most definitely worth it.

Your son sounds like a darling, so that will make things easier and no doubt he will, benefit in spades from having a happier mum!

Good luck, you will be fine!

Welcome to the club. My friends call me posh poor.

My clothes budget for myself is basically zero. I have more clothes than I wear so I sold a load on Vinted and that's what funds new stuff. But mostly I only buy things that I really really need, like new underwear when mine has holes everywhere. Stuff for DC is secondhand.

I actually like money saving and view it as a challenge. Get a buzz planning meals around yellow stickered items. Buy cheap, in season produce. Etc.

I am lucky that I can walk or cycle to most places to avoid travel costs and keeps me fit.

If you have £300 a month disposable income, you are better than MILLIONS. I am literally just, by the skin of my teeth, staying afloat. I could give your £300 a good home.

Check out if you have a community fridge locally and start using it. They’re not food banks, they’re designed to reduce food waste, and they are open to everyone.

I personally didn’t find To Good to Go that helpful - you are still spending money. Olio is better.

My income dropped a couple of years ago and the things I’ve found that have help are
vinted, I’ve sold anything I won’t use or wear again (clothes bric a brac etc)

I’ve kept all the clothes that still fit me and I’ve worn them. Now on my second no buy clothes year. All I’ve bought is socks undies and boots

Stopped going near shops. I’m now fairly immune to wanting to buy things.

I leave online purchases in my basket for a few days before buying. 90% I don’t buy

meals in a mug book. I can produce a meal for one and cook it in the microwave in a mug in less than 10mins. No more ready meals.

I shop in person and find Asda the cheapest but I buy some things at Lidl and some on the market. I alternate weekly but it requires buying more than you need for one week at a time.

It gets easier and then there’s a bit more spare as time goes on

Omg yes I forgot about market research and mystery shopping. My most skint era coincided with a popular burger chain launching a new burger at introductory price and I got paid £5 or £10 to taste test. I ate that bloody burger for every meal for about a week, getting paid enough to be able to walk to the next restaurant to get another one. The amount of walking across a large city I was doing to reach each restaurant I hope countered the amount of burger I was eating. I later got a temp job at a firm with a free canteen (!!!) which got me slowly slowly back on my feet. I vowed never to be reliant on a single source of income from then on and started a savings account. Despite all the stress, I was happier then.