DH wants to wear shorts to birthday meal

[Lins77]

I've arranged a big family lunch at a very smart hotel to celebrate DH's Significant Birthday. He's worn shorts every day over the summer (he doesn't work). I said he should wear long trousers but he doesn't see why he should. What do you think?

I would look on the website for a dress code. Some places say no T-shirts/shorts/trainers etc. but if no dress code then I think it’s fine. I’m assuming he wants to wear linen or chino shorts, not cycling shorts or swimming trunks!

Clearly not. Unless the hotel says he can't wear them. Saying 'end of' doesn't make it true. That said, I would put gentle pressure on my husband to wear something a little smarter.

I think you should ring the hotel and ask if they have a dress code

Depends what sort of shorts.

I think he should.

The OP needs to stop mothering him.

I wouldn't be surprised if she cuts up his food when it arrives.

His Birthday, so he can wear what he wants, did he want big posh hotel or was it your choice.

My uncle - who would be in his 90s if he was still to the fore - wore this to every family event in the summer ever. Even down to the Panama hat and slip on canvas shoes 🤣🤣🤣

Chino shorts with a smart polo shirt or a nice summer shirt with flowers on as is the current fashion for me in a demure palette

Unless he has some kind of condition which means that material touching his legs below the knees is uncomfortable, it doesn't seem unreasonable to expect him to bother to dress appropriately for the smart hotel lunch his wife has gone to the trouble of arranging for him and the family.

We'll have to agree to disagree, stranger with an attitude for no reason 😭

What’s inappropriate about smart chino shorts and a collared shirt?

When I was at the hospital with my mam I was amazed that all the ladies had smooth glossy hair free legs. I hadn't prior to that known that leg hair falls out after menopause.

I rarely have my legs out now because I cannot be arsed to shave a society deems the Sasquatch look unfairly unacceptable in women but once my legs return to childhood smoothness I will be rocking dresses, 3/4 trousers, shorts etc... why wouldn't I, the calf is the least drastically changing/aging part of the body anyway.

If it’s his birthday, why wouldn’t you want him to wear what he’s comfortable in?

Yes, it’s a thing. At the time of 11.59 pm on a man’s 49th birthday, something supernatural happens and he wakes up with shit legs the next morning.

Wonder whether he actually wanted this “smart” lunch that his wife arranged?

Let him wear what he wants, it is his special occasion. But why not pop a pair of trousers (and maybe a nice shirt too) in a bag in the boot of the car, just in case there is a dress code, or if he feels that he is under-dressed and wishes he had worn trousers once he gets there.

Smart chino shorts and a collared shirt might be ok, depending on the smartness of the hotel I suppose. Trousers would be better. I'm not sure the OP has said that her dh's outfit would be smart chino shorts and a collared shirt though.

Exactly this. The only opinion needed is the restaurant's - if they say shorts are fine, then it doesn't matter what the OP or a bunch of MNetters think. If they say shorts don't meet their dress code, then regardless of what he would like, he can't wear them. You don't need to be taking trousers 'just in case' - just phone them up and ask them!

If its actually a smart restaurant they may not let him in if wearing shorts.

Obviously he can wear what he likes but to avoid the entire meal being derailed by his insistence on airing his knees I'd bring a pair of his trousers just in case.

In that case let him wear shorts, then pop a pair of trousers in the car, so if he feels uncomfortable he can change.

Ds has sensory issues round trousers, so only wears them when absolutely necessary. What I do in that situation is give him the choice between smart shorts and shirt, or long trousers and a more casual top.
Last time he decided for himself that trousers and shirt was appropriate, but at my mil funeral he chose shorts and shirt*.

*If anyone says this was totally inappropriate I would like to note that my fil was in jeans and sandals (with socks).

My DH is over 50 and has amazing legs. Long lean and tanned. He wears shorts all summer and looks great. Currently wearing Hackett shorts and a linen shirt. He most definitely looks acceptable for any hotel or restaurant.

Why don’t you let him wear the shorts and take some trousers as a back up!

You could let him wear what he likes as one of his birthday presents

Check for a dress code. Find out if they're ok with it and if so, let it go.

Accept that some of them are basically toddlers/adolescents.

Enjoy your party.

Imagine if a man was telling a woman what to wear. There would be uproar about misogyny.