DH wants to wear shorts to birthday meal

[Lins77]

I've arranged a big family lunch at a very smart hotel to celebrate DH's Significant Birthday. He's worn shorts every day over the summer (he doesn't work). I said he should wear long trousers but he doesn't see why he should. What do you think?

I mean come on?! Men over 50 all have shit legs that should be hidden away? That’s just not true is it?!

I completely agree with him. He can wear whatever he wants.

We all know what the response on MN would be if a woman posted that her husband was trying to police what she wore for an event. ‘Abusive’ ‘Controlling’ etc etc.

He should just wear the trousers omg

I wouldnt want to go to an upscale restaurant with my man wearing shorts - theyre simply too casual

Same as i wouldnt show up in my t-shirt dress that I've loved this summer

He should make this small effort for his family

I always feel so uncomfortable hearing about women who baby men and the men who let them.

The only time you should have an opinion on what he wears is if he explicitly asks you for if.
He wants to wear shorts so you shouldn’t say otherwise.

Oh ffs

Well no. There certainly wouldn't automatically be any of that from me. There are plenty of occasions where women might choose to dress in wholly inappropriate ways and I think more men should advise them otherwise!

Is that you Mrs Fogle?

As long as the restaurant doesn't have a dress code, I'd probably let him wear what he wants. Will everybody else be more dressed up?

I mean.. it is hot. Chinos with a smart polo / shirt and shoes are fine. If he’s going to wear jogger shorts probably not

My husband wears shorts all weathers all seasons night or day. Would rather he be comfortable and relaxed enjoying himself than hot, sweatty and dressed by myself. I think my husband would actually wear the total opposite if I insisted on him wearing what I ordered! There’s nothing wrong with smart shorts and smart trainers it’s a bit different if we’re talking about swim shorts or ripped denim.

I can't stand adult men in shorts outside of sports but even I am in the 'let him wear what he wants on his bloody birthday' camp.

I think this might be another of those stereotypically man/woman things, actually.

It's very common for women to really enjoy planning, shopping for and accessorising a special unique outfit for a special event. It's also socially expected of women, such is the grossly unfair double standard.

By contrast, the majority of men really don't care about the approval or admiration of others for what they or other men wear; nor does it even register as any kind of problem for them if 20 other blokes are wearing the exact same thing as they are. Men's clothes usually fade into the background anyway and are notable for their boringness.

Even if people do make comments about him wearing shorts when all the other men are in long trousers, it will probably just be laughed off and not actually upset him at all.

He should just wear smart shorts if he wants to 'omg'.

It's boiling here today-shorts sounds sensible. Are you wearing long trousers or a nice cool dress/skirt?

I would ring the hotel and check there's no issues with the dress code.

What is appropriate to wear does vary dependent on whether you define "appropriate" as "smart as possible because you have to impress people and look professional" or "as comfortable as possible because who cares so long as you get in the restaurant".

He doesn't work and he doesn't know how to dress himself.

What a catch.

He's retired.

And since when does wearing shorts mean a person doesn't know how to dress themselves?

I'm quite sure there'll be plenty of women wearing cool summer dresses and not covering their legs.

If it’s a smart hotel it will probably have a dress code in the dining room.
If it doesn’t, as long as they’re clean and don’t show his bum cheeks, can’t say it would bother me. But then I hate dressing up too …

It's all a question of how you interpret 'wholly inappropriate', though - which will obviously differ significantly from person to person.

Turning up in Speedos or a bikini would obviously be wholly inappropriate; as would wearing filthy paint-splattered work overalls.

But there's an enormous spectrum between those two. My DGM was very superstitious about red and white being seen together (I think it has something to do with blood and bandages - it's A Thing for some people) - so even if you'd found an amazing, perfectly-styled, designer dress in those colours, she would instantly have deemed it wholly inappropriate.

It was OP who said he didn't know how to dress himself appropriately.

I don't think there's anything wrong with shorts and think it's ridiculous she's dictating what he should wear.

And fair enough if he's retired.

Does the same go for women 50+ wearing skirts and dresses?

Yes that's all true, but it was directed specifically at the poster who claimed 'MN' would be up in arms would the sexes be reversed. That's not automatically the case. I really dislike that way of approaching a situation as context varies a lot.

I think smart shorts look great in the summer on men .

If the roles were reversed and it was a man telling a woman what she could wear, he'd be controlling.

Also a retired man should be able to decide for himself what he wears.

This is MN. Get with the programme 😁