DH wants to wear shorts to birthday meal

[Lins77]

I've arranged a big family lunch at a very smart hotel to celebrate DH's Significant Birthday. He's worn shorts every day over the summer (he doesn't work). I said he should wear long trousers but he doesn't see why he should. What do you think?

Often the “smarter” (pricier) the hotel, the more relaxed it is. They aren’t going to tell wealthy clients who will vote with their feet what they can wear 🤣

Does he have previous though?

The OP says "He's not the best at knowing what's appropriate to wear."

Perhaps that's just her opinion again.

Unless he's been turned away from places due to his dress, but I would expect her to mention if he had.

Or do you decide for him what’s appropriate?

it’s his birthday, ‘let’ him wear what he wants.

This is such a middle class thread 😁

Really, most very wealthy people and really don’t give two hoots about dress.

Pointless asking this question as none of us know the dress code. If it's somewhere like Le Manoir, shorts aren't allowed in the dining room.

What kind of shorts OP? A chap at my work has been wearing tailored knee-length chino shorts with smart trainers (and trainer socks please and thank you) and he looks great, and smart. Just as smart as someone in jeans (which tbh is what my DH would wear). The work colleague is in his 30s, but I wear shorts sometimes too (I did yesterday) and I am 61.

The key question is whether the smart venue is happy with it? If so then on you go. If not then he’ll have to wear trousers.

Some men would wear a suit and tie to that do, some not. I was at a funeral the other week and some of the men were in full suit, jacket, black tie; some were in literally tailored trousers and a shirt, no jacket, no tie. I thought that was fine (no one in shorts tbh but YGWIM).

The op said he was on board

We have no idea what kind of shorts he wants to wear, that hasn't been mentioned

I stand by that he should just wear a pair of trousers to look his best - he can change afterwards!

How would you feel if he told you want you can and cannot wear. Comfort above everything else.

But thats what we have to go on 😭😭

I agree with the original post, shorts aren't appropriate, he should wear trousers 🤷‍♀️

Just tell him to take a pair of trousers with him in case the upmarket hotel has a dress code.

Smart shorts and a shirt with decent footwear is fine surely?

I would cover all bases.

1. phone the hotel and check the dress code

2. buy him nice comfy chino shorts and a button down top for his birthday that he can wear on the day if he wants. That way he won’t wear union jack shorts and a vest or something hideous.

3. Take a spare pair of trousers (and shoes to match if necessary) secretly in the boot just in case there are any issues with dress code if youve been misinformed.

It could be that he has put on weight and has no comfy nice trousers that fit and doesn't want to be miserable wearing ones that strangle him. And doesn’t want new trousers now hes retired as it feels like a waste of money. So choose the shorts size carefully

Slight tangent, but I briefly worked as an estate agent and once sold a bloke two maisonettes at the same time (I showed him one and he bought the other one we also had on two doors down after "viewing" it through the kitchen window). He drove a Bentley.

But he also drove a battered up ford escort with wires haning out of the dashboard where it looked like someone had nicked the radio and he drove an old transit van, and he once met me in a tiny driving instructor's hatchback!

Do not judge based on clothes (or car!)

Whether there’s a dress code would be my prime concern. My dh lives in his shorts in summer, too.

To be fair, he might “look his best” in shorts. Could have a cracking pair of legs 😁

”Onboard” suggests to me like he agreed after it was arranged rather than actually wanted/requested it. Could be wrong, obvs.

@Lins77 did you say it's HIS birthday? Why are you trying to force him to wear what he doesn't want to. If this was reversed everyone would be calling him a controlling arse.

For previous special meals in good weather/climate has he worn shorts?

I'm only asking as my ex-H decided to wear non-black tie to a very lovely black tie event organised by my then employer. He stood out like a sore thumb and then sulked all evening. He knew it was black tie, owned a black tie suit but was being difficult deliberately and didn't like showing himself up. Now if he had made the same decision, turned up and been charming no-one would have minded.

Indeed.

Don’t be going all sensible on us 🤣

He might

Although I dont see it 😭

I mean, as an adult we have to do things like attend a birthday party 🤷‍♀️ - maybe as a compromise they could have a private evening in, before or after, with some cake and everyone could wear shorts!

It’s his frigging birthday!

As an adult, no-one is telling me I “have” to do anything on my own birthday, thank you very much 😁

Most upmarket restaurants won’t allow anyone in wearing shorts and specially men!! What will he do when he’s told he isn’t wearing the correct dress code and needs to get changed as they won’t allow him in otherwise? Trainers and jeans are other types of clothing I’ve seen men refused entry into decent restaurants where everyone else has made the effort

Well, it's up to him; presumably the hotel won't actually chuck him out for wearing shorts?

except its HIS blooming birthday

Honestly, he can relax any of the other 354 days of the year!

Tbh, i suspect the op will give in, as long as theyre smart, so my commitment to this thread is waning but 🤷‍♀️😭

Hes lucky though, to have a wife who cares enough about his bare legs and his birthday