DH wants to wear shorts to birthday meal

[Lins77]

I've arranged a big family lunch at a very smart hotel to celebrate DH's Significant Birthday. He's worn shorts every day over the summer (he doesn't work). I said he should wear long trousers but he doesn't see why he should. What do you think?

I honestly don’t think I’d notice if a man wore chino shorts and a shirt at a nice dinner in summer. It’s a perfectly normal smart casual outfit for August.

Depends what type of shorts and the location.

If they are a chino type short and he looks relatively smart then I don't see the problem.

Ok thanks, I'll stop worrying about the shorts 😄

He can't wear shorts. End of.

Does the very smart hotel have a dress code? I'd find out, and if I were you, I'd take a shirt, trousers and shoes for him in a bag, just in case!

Just mention that other male guests might be dressed smartly, so he might want to reconsider his outfit. As pp have already mentioned, a polo shirt & chino shorts would be a smart version of the shorts/t shirt combination.

Do we even know that this is what he wanted to celebrate his birthday?

OP says that she arranged it.

Shouldn't the birthday person lead on how their birthday should be celebrated?

Youre not his mum. Let him alone.

If that’s the only issue, you could take a pair of trousers with you. But if the restaurant has significance, hasn’t he been there before and will know what to expect?

I’m sure you will see diners in worse attire these days …

I think a pair of chino shorts can look really nice and smart. It’s only like a woman wearing a short dress . It is summer after all .

Turn this around for a second, OP. YABU.

Yes, I arranged it, it's a special birthday and I know he'll enjoy it. If it was up to him he wouldn't want to spend the money, but I wanted to do something special and it's my own money I'm spending.

Edited to add it is quite normal in our family for a spouse or parent to arrange something they know the birthday person will enjoy.

Speak for yourself!

your continual ageism is tedious.

You are going to be sat down around a table. People won't even see his legs. Perhaps compromise that he brings a pair of long trousers - and a tie - just in case there is a dress code.

@Lins77 more concerned that you are paying all the bills because he doesnt work???? is he retired or just unemployed???

Why would he feel uncomfortable? I'd always feel more uncomfortable if I was overdressed rather than underdressed. Maybe he's the same.

How smart is this hotel?

Wow, blatant ageism of the kind that MN does so very well. Are the legs of people over 50 so monstrously disgusting that they should keep them forever covered in righteous shame?

That reminds me of the policy that Abercrombie & Fitch have - where they only want young, beautiful people working in their clothes shops. I've also read that they don't even want customers who aren't also young and beautiful buying them either.

ONE person has been disgustingly ageist about his legs, not 'MN'.

Why don't you challenge them directly?

Check the dress code - 'smart' hotels may not allow vests, t-shirtds, shorts or sportswear

Fair enough, then - thanks - but isn't it also nice to let him make minor decisions as to how he wants his celebration to go, such as what he wears,as well as the major ones that you've made and that he is very happy with?

Retired.

Chino shorts with a button down shirt would be fine! Usually accessorised with a panama hat and deck shoes (not tevas!)

He should be grateful and stop whinging, honestly

Hes been able to spend the entire summer in shorts, its not like his life is hard

Its just one evening 🤷‍♀️

Where has the OP said he was whinging?

He's made a decision to wear shorts to his own birthday meal and that's that.

The only person who appears to be 'whinging' (if you must call it that) is the OP.