DH wants to wear shorts to birthday meal

[Lins77]

I've arranged a big family lunch at a very smart hotel to celebrate DH's Significant Birthday. He's worn shorts every day over the summer (he doesn't work). I said he should wear long trousers but he doesn't see why he should. What do you think?

Better still, tell them to stuff it and go somewhere else.
Don't pander too them. Dress Code lol. What an awful word.

OP has already updated that the event has happened....

Excellent. What did he wear?

Glad he enjoyed it and your efforts were appreciated.

Out of interest what was the name of the hotel/restaurant?

Glad it went well and hope he appreciated all the effort you went too.

Yes, we had a lovely local Toby Carvery that turned into a Miller & Carter restaurant/pub - whom I understand have a strict dress code and reserve the right to refuse entry if they disapprove of your clothes (which, incidentally, can also lead to would-be disabled guests being discriminated against).

Fair enough for them to choose how to run their business; but equally up to me to choose where to spend my money - so I now choose to go to places that aren't as snooty and up themselves.

I'm astonished that, in 2025, there are still dinosaur places that regard a man wearing the exact same smart trousers that they would normally be totally fine with but which happen to stop at the knee - chosen sensibly and practically because of very warm weather - as somehow indecent or scruffy. Ludicrous. Do they also still bring everybody's plates out on a velvet cushion?

Our Harvester turned into Miller and Carter. They won't have us in for drinks in our mud splattered cross country running kit (with clean shoes) anymore, but a man in smart shorts and a shirt would be fine.

MrsSkylerWhite My DH is not a Reform member, and I'm talking 40 years ago when Reform didn't even exist. Nor does my DH have a "Warminster mentality". He was a very active and good councillor - just lives in shorts in warm weather.

But I agree, an AGM warranted more "traditional" clothing - as I had advised.

You should check with the resaurant as even in a local pub/restaurant we were refused in the dining area as my husband was wearing shorts even though they were quite smart ones we were allowed in the bar! (we didnt stay!) Do check!

Oh, I wasn't advocating shorts for this occasion at all, sorry, just taking issue with the casual ageism of some posters.

Part of being and grown up is knowing how to dress appropriately. I would suggest that shorts are most certainly not appropriate at a very smart hotel, he may feel uncomfortable when dressed differently to his guests and therefore he should get some lightweight trousers which would be far more fitting for the venue.

Alternatively could the shorts perhaps be ‘disappeared’ so that he has no option other than to wear something suitable.

That's just your opinion, though. Not that long ago - and quite probably still now - some people and venues would have considered a woman wearing trousers for a smart gathering to 'not understand how a lady should dress appropriately'.

How would you feel if OP had chosen some very smart trousers to wear for the event and her DH had 'disappeared' them, to force her to find a frock that he believed 'more befitting for a woman'?

Smart tailored shorts are literally the same thing as smart trousers but just a more appropriate length for very hot weather.

It's actually the opposite of being grown up to wear whatever you fancy wearing without taking into account the circumstances and practicalities - such as hot weather - when choosing an appropriate outfit. We've all seen little girls who insist on wearing their favourite princess dress when the family is out for an active day in the muddy park; or a teenager who refuses to take off his new top-brand puffa jacket in the middle of a heatwave.

Is anyone else fed up with this trend over the last few years of men wearing cheap and nasty shorts all the time, even when it's freezing cold? It's just laziness. They even do it when their wife/gf has obviously gone to some trouble to look nice, and it's a special occasion.

Not noticed it particularly but then I'm more often the one thinking I'm ready to go out because dressing up doesn't often occur to me to find out DH has changed and smartened up so I feel I ought to.

Or perhaps like me (woman), they prioritise comfort over what other people think?

So it's ok if I go to the Hilton in micro shorts and a crop top then for my birthday aged 63? 😂
He won't be enjoying his birthday if they don't let him in because of their dress code.

Tailored knee-length shorts are a million miles away from the sort that show an inch or two of bum cheeks, though!!

I don't recall OP ever specifying exactly what kind of shorts they were - although I'm guessing she would have made much more of her 'case' if they'd been hot pants or loose, short ball-dropper style ones.

Nevertheless, whatever the classification of garment, there are always going to be varieties of each sort that are appropriate or inappropriate. Nobody at all on this thread has been suggesting that full-length trousers would have been any problem, but tracky bottoms would also be classed as full-length trousers!

Hilton hotels, very smart?