Dh not happy with my suggestion for wills

[amibeingharshhere]

He has a teen dd from a previous relationships, I’ve been in her life since she was 4, rocky relationship due to confusion with both her parents at loggerheads, but we do have a nice relationship now.

Myself and dh have 3 children together.
We’re in the process of buying a house and I brought up wills, suggesting that my half of the house splits 3 ways between our kids and that his half should be split 4 ways. He thinks I should be splitting my half 4 ways too, to account for the fact dsd will be getting less than her siblings. I’m using 200k inheritance off my dad as a deposit on the new house and dh will pay the mortgage as we run a business together that I’m a shareholder in.
AIBU? Should I be splitting mine 4 ways too? It’s just the way I see it is dsd will also be inheriting off her mom therefore inheriting x3 where as mine will be inheriting of just us two.

There’s timing considerations though, if she doesn’t and they get divorced very soon after or dies, he may not have laid anywhere near close to $200K.

Don’t know the answer to that OP. See a solicitor for wills and probate. Well you’re not the one causing the shit are you? Many people on this thread think he is being unreasonable. It’ll cause massive shit if you DON’T sort provision for your DC, and if anything happens to you you’ll have no control over it.

You can’t protect the deposit without him knowing. It’s something you’d both agree to and “declare”. If you approach your solicitor with this they will have to stop acting for you both as there would then be a conflict in instructions.

I wouldn’t ring fence anything tbh, DH and I share all our money. If I didn’t want that, I wouldn’t have got married 🤷🏻‍♀️ But the ring fencing and the wills are separate issues.

You could suggest tenants in common at 50/50 to reflect the fact that you both want to leave different percentages to the children, and in order to do that, you need distinct shares.

I can see why you wanting to own 75/25 would cause issues.

Unfortunately a lot of people aren’t aware of the potential consequences or just let a partner sort it all out and sign on the dotted line when required. I would really get proper advice.

It often isn’t necessary for first marriages when both children belong to both partners. Probably the majority of married couples write mirror wills where everything, including property, is left to the spouse in the first instance, which is the same as being joint tenants. Wanting to leave assets directly to children rather than spouse, or wanting to treat different children differently tends to be a feature of second marriages.

my PIL switched to being tenants in common to leave MIL share of their home directly to DH rather than being used for care home fees if FIL inherited MILs half. She was already ill when they did it. My parents OTOH have a classic mirror wills / joint tenants set up - they expect to inherit everything when the other pops their clogs, they might want to blow it all on cruises rather than pass directly to my sister and I. And my mum at least wants total freedom to do what she wants with her house, she doesn’t want to end up co owning with my sister and me.

Why are you buying a house with someone who will lose his shit if you protect your £200,000 deposit?!?! It’s not a small amount of money and it doesn’t belong to him! Second marriages often don’t work out and usually you are wiser after the first one when you’ve lost your home/money etc and want to protect any money you have for your children in case of history repeating itself🤷‍♀️😳 I would see your husband losing his shit over this a MAJOR red flag and frankly be looking at not just separate wills!