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Entitled neighbours dictating how we live

159 replies

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 10:36

Our neighbours have pretty much always made life hell. We are terraced in the middle and both sides are like clones of each other. When their children were little they would play in our private garden. They would jump over the fence and use our window as a goal for their ball. Unbelievably both sides thought we were unreasonable for wanting them to stop. Their antisocial behaviour didn’t stop there - noisy drunk parties all night, loud DIY morning and night (which has included minor damage to our property), loud music, insults said about us loud enough for us to hear, the noise through the walls all day long was another level, burning rubbish, trampolines and pools put right next to the fence, my washing deliberately hit with muddy balls. This went on until their children were adults and bare in mind it was both sides.

Now their families are older it’s mainly contained to endless drilling and hammering, hot tub parties and their dogs incessantly barking (again, both sides). We have tolerated it all because there has been little choice, and I don’t want to devalue my house by making formal complaints.

Unbelievably one of these neighbours knocked on our door yesterday to tell us that we need to keep our dog quiet. Our dog barely barks compared to theirs! They also said that because when our dog goes into our own private garden it triggers THEIR dog to incessantly bark we are not allowed to let our dog into our own garden. They also want us to not make any noise after 9.30pm! The sheer audacity made me explode and I told them everything they do and have done that we have had to tolerate, the whole lot came out. They made excuses for all of their behaviours, and the take away was they can make noise whenever they like, but we are expected to live how they have told us to. Both sides are in agreement and they’ve said if we break any of these rules they will make formal complaints about us. The slightest noise we make we are hearing loud passive aggressive comments, even though they are also making noise. To put it in perspective their dog incessantly barked for 20 minutes this morning and they did nothing, but when ours let out 3 barks they shouted for us to “shut it up”.

Outside of their homes both sides present themselves well, all have decent jobs, and one side is very friendly with other neighbours in the street.

Its gaslighting on a whole new level because they are very antisocial and deliberate with their behaviour towards us (I’ve heard them talking about what they are doing and laughing about it), so WTAF do we do? We can’t afford to move so that isn’t an option, but right now we feel very bullied. It’s the summer holidays and I’m now terrified about my children or dog making any noise. It’s hell.

OP posts:
TheSilentSister · 25/07/2025 22:31

@Dymaxion - actually a good idea. Have you got a relative that's a bit thuggish (not saying Dymaxion is, lol) that could stay for the night while you go away. Give them a mouthful. I know my DB would absolutely do this for me.

My own yappy dog sets off the neighbours dogs. I apologise, get him in quick. However, their dogs aren't outside all day, I couldn't be doing with that!

Record their dogs and them every single time. Get a Go-Pro that you can wear and put it on everything time you go outside/encounter them. I'm pretty sure you'll have tons more evidence than they'll ever get/claim to get.

You've got to do something OP. You can't live like this. Do you know the other neighbours at all? You may find that they're intimidating others.

FinneganFois · 25/07/2025 23:02

@HaveTheMostCFNeighbour OP, I hear you ! I had a neighbour like this several years ago but she died, otherwise I would have sold the house. She used to act like she was my landlady or my employer, telling me not to use the washing machine after 10 pm ( I was on a late shift at work) , not to rev the car up at 7 am when I went to pick a relative up from the airport, etc. Try recording them and report as antisocial behaviour to your council.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 25/07/2025 23:36

Why the fuck should the OP have to move. Declare was OP!!

whatcanthematterbe81 · 25/07/2025 23:36

WAR

Cornishclio · 26/07/2025 00:05

There is no one they can complain to. Just go about your life normally if you don’t intend moving. You have to stand up to these neighbours from hell. If the noise is unbearable report them to environmental health.

Rosscameasdoody · 26/07/2025 16:52

Bellyblueboy · 25/07/2025 20:59

can I ask if you work in HR? Because your argument seems very odd. Do you have any legal training and have you ever been an employer?

I have never come across a low level neighbour dispute (which, while awful for OP, this is) impacting someone employment prospects.

Do you really think the behaviour described here gives rise to a CBO? OP hasn’t even made a complaint! Yes they are irritating, their children are unruly and they are loud. But I would be shocked if a CBO was considered appropriate at this stage. No employer with any sense would take any notice of this. In deed OP may be considered guilty of harassment if she started contacting her neighbors employers about barking dogs.

are you just doubling down becuase you have been questioned?

Not doubling down at all. An elderly family member had a similar problem some years ago after new neighbours moved in, and it went on for some time before they couldn’t stand any more and we helped them gather evidence to report to the LA. We were asked to try to resolve through mediation with a council official which was utterly useless and after gathering evidence over several months we reported it to the police.

I think the difference was that our relative had neighbours who had witnessed some of what was happening and they came forward with their own evidence. The neighbour was eventually prosecuted for anti social behaviour and after a written warning for continuation of same, a criminal behaviour order was issued. It took months to sort out because the authorities had to follow procedure. The neighbour was renting through a housing association and was eventually evicted.

Dymaxion · 26/07/2025 21:35

@TheSilentSister I am the least thuggish person you could meet, until you throw a CF into the mix and then all bets are off Wink

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/07/2025 00:35

Chatting to a friend today who is in a similar situation but has fought back….

”You’re clearly obsessed with me you absolute pervert”.

”Perhaps it’s time for a restraining order because your behaviour is perverted”.

Absolute silence since. I thought of you OP. Men don’t like being accused of being sex offenders. Your word against his.

JohnofWessex · 27/07/2025 18:56

Perhaps you might offer the Mumsnet Hockey Rugby and Rounders team accommodation for the weekend

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