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Entitled neighbours dictating how we live

159 replies

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 10:36

Our neighbours have pretty much always made life hell. We are terraced in the middle and both sides are like clones of each other. When their children were little they would play in our private garden. They would jump over the fence and use our window as a goal for their ball. Unbelievably both sides thought we were unreasonable for wanting them to stop. Their antisocial behaviour didn’t stop there - noisy drunk parties all night, loud DIY morning and night (which has included minor damage to our property), loud music, insults said about us loud enough for us to hear, the noise through the walls all day long was another level, burning rubbish, trampolines and pools put right next to the fence, my washing deliberately hit with muddy balls. This went on until their children were adults and bare in mind it was both sides.

Now their families are older it’s mainly contained to endless drilling and hammering, hot tub parties and their dogs incessantly barking (again, both sides). We have tolerated it all because there has been little choice, and I don’t want to devalue my house by making formal complaints.

Unbelievably one of these neighbours knocked on our door yesterday to tell us that we need to keep our dog quiet. Our dog barely barks compared to theirs! They also said that because when our dog goes into our own private garden it triggers THEIR dog to incessantly bark we are not allowed to let our dog into our own garden. They also want us to not make any noise after 9.30pm! The sheer audacity made me explode and I told them everything they do and have done that we have had to tolerate, the whole lot came out. They made excuses for all of their behaviours, and the take away was they can make noise whenever they like, but we are expected to live how they have told us to. Both sides are in agreement and they’ve said if we break any of these rules they will make formal complaints about us. The slightest noise we make we are hearing loud passive aggressive comments, even though they are also making noise. To put it in perspective their dog incessantly barked for 20 minutes this morning and they did nothing, but when ours let out 3 barks they shouted for us to “shut it up”.

Outside of their homes both sides present themselves well, all have decent jobs, and one side is very friendly with other neighbours in the street.

Its gaslighting on a whole new level because they are very antisocial and deliberate with their behaviour towards us (I’ve heard them talking about what they are doing and laughing about it), so WTAF do we do? We can’t afford to move so that isn’t an option, but right now we feel very bullied. It’s the summer holidays and I’m now terrified about my children or dog making any noise. It’s hell.

OP posts:
ThisZanyPinkSquid · 25/07/2025 18:55

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 10:45

We do own, but currently can’t afford all of the hidden costs with moving.

I know you have said you can’t afford too but in all honesty I would find a way!! I have had neighbours like this and my mental health suffered!

They would deliberately park over 2 spaces so we couldn’t get packed, put music on full volume all day and put it against a wall and go out, intentionally bang their doors, sit on the back step and make comments about us if we dare say anything….it was getting to the point I didn’t went to come home and made excuses not to (I was single)!!!

seriously consider moving and hope someone awful moves in 😂😂

Praying4Peace · 25/07/2025 18:58

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 10:45

We do own, but currently can’t afford all of the hidden costs with moving.

Yes, I recently moved and it was nearly 18000 before sd increase.
OP, is there any possibility of a 3 way discussion in the best interest of all?
Or am I being unrealistic?
Horrible situation for you to be in

Ooothatsagoodone · 25/07/2025 19:00

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 12:00

They didn’t literally say they can make as much noise as they like, they yelled in my face all of the reasons that it’s fine for them to make noise. So their dog barking was argued as it being a good guard dog for incessant barking, but they said my dog was just a nuisance, even though it barks much less than theirs. We were told we weren’t allowed to make noise after 9.30 (general living noise, we got to bed at 10:30/11pm), when I pointed out they had all night parties they screamed “it’s called fun”. They said they can hear my children playing and it’s unacceptable, I said what about their constant DIY day and night (we have never had a day without them hammering or drilling something or the smell of fumes from something) they screamed that it was because they wanted their house to look nice. And it just went on like that. The underlying message was they believe they can make as much noise as they like and only we have to be quiet.

A loud "Fuck Off" every time.

Start making noise, or rather don't stop making noise.

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 19:07

Praying4Peace · 25/07/2025 18:58

Yes, I recently moved and it was nearly 18000 before sd increase.
OP, is there any possibility of a 3 way discussion in the best interest of all?
Or am I being unrealistic?
Horrible situation for you to be in

They aren’t that type. The side that came over have a generally aggressive manner (the type who snap at delivery drivers and rubbish collectors - I’ve seen them do both), the other side find everything hilarious and push buttons and do deliberate things to us for the laughs.

OP posts:
SkintSingleMumm · 25/07/2025 19:07

Goldbar · 25/07/2025 13:17

I'd be tempted to drop into conversation that you've had an offer to buy your house from an organisation that houses recently released ex-offenders or something like that, and you're thinking of accepting as you need a bit more peace and quiet. Whatever will wind them up. Say you're just giving them a heads-up 😂.

Tell them the government want to buy it and turn it into a HMO for immigrants. Youve not decided yet but are thinking about it for a quick sale! 🤭

SkintSingleMumm · 25/07/2025 19:08

Ooothatsagoodone · 25/07/2025 19:00

A loud "Fuck Off" every time.

Start making noise, or rather don't stop making noise.

Also agree to this. Get a ring doorbell and never answer if they knock. Who tf do they think they are?!

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 19:37

SkintSingleMumm · 25/07/2025 19:08

Also agree to this. Get a ring doorbell and never answer if they knock. Who tf do they think they are?!

I’ve asked myself this since they knocked.
Its entitlement on a whole new level, their dog was incessantly barking again this afternoon in the garden and they were just laughing about it. Then once again my dog barked twice in response and they said “here we go”. They genuinely believe they can do what the hell they like and we can’t. It’s hard to imagine how they hold down decent jobs with the way they are.

I’m grateful for everyone’s responses. I’ve lived this for so long and with them backing each other, at times I’ve started questioning myself, thinking is this just what neighbours are like. It’s good to hear their behaviour isn’t normal and it’s not me, but sad to read others have been through similar torment.

It has effected my mental health a lot over the years, but have never really been in a position to move from here. I will get the ring doorbells as suggested and keep a record of everything.

OP posts:
SusiQ18472638 · 25/07/2025 19:43

Absolutely baffled as to why you have stayed in the house long enough for their children to grow into adults and put up with such awful behaviour for all that time!!! I would have to find a way to move!

NotThisShitAgain121 · 25/07/2025 19:54

You need to.move for your sanity x

HectorPlasm · 25/07/2025 19:59

I'd be having Metal night every night with the speakers in the garden. Fuck 'em

WhitePudding · 25/07/2025 20:03

I know you said you can’t afford to move but may it be possible with part exchange to a new property?

MC846 · 25/07/2025 20:05

Rosscameasdoody · 25/07/2025 15:25

Depends on whether they are professionals and bringing the company into disrepute. A lot of companies frown on this sort of thing for obvious reasons.

They're clearly not bringing the company into disrepute and the bar is quite high if that's going to be your arguement at tribunal. There's nothing under employment law that covers being an areshole of a neighbour. Out of interest, what would you like to see an employer do?

deusexmacintosh · 25/07/2025 20:09

Iclyn · 25/07/2025 12:20

We had a house in London ( just a normal house on average street etc ) then moved 300 + miles away close to Scottish border .I

This allowed us to buy mortgage free a property on a " posh " sort of cul de sac / private road set up type of place .

Everyone thinks they are quite posh as this area is off another road which is known as the best road in the town - area where all the Drs , solicitors , business people live .

Sadly we are definitely not . They have gardeners ( think stripey lawns and scalped to nothing ) and we like to encourage wildlife , lawn kept quite long , scattered wildflowers and trees / shrubs unpruned , messy areas to encourage insects .

We don't have the approval of the neighbours .

Your house sounds fuckin' great. Reminds me of the lovely Joanna Lumley saying she got a lot of bullying and abuse from her next door w⚓️ neighbours on both sides, because she was pro fox and they hated the fact she wasn't shooing them out of her garden. Similar situation to you, your neighbours resent your autonomy and the fact you're not a herd creature. They're like gestapo snobs who want a postcard uniformity to their homes.

newchapternewday · 25/07/2025 20:10

Good luck OP - stay strong and enjoy your home and space as much as you can. Let us know how you get on...

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 25/07/2025 20:14

Get some videos OP. Their dog vs your dog and try to capture some of the comments

AuntyDepressant · 25/07/2025 20:24

Well if you can’t afford to move anyway, how does complaining devalue your property? Surely you have nothing to lose?

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 20:34

AuntyDepressant · 25/07/2025 20:24

Well if you can’t afford to move anyway, how does complaining devalue your property? Surely you have nothing to lose?

I want to move, just currently can’t so it’s thinking about the longed for future.

OP posts:
HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 20:40

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 25/07/2025 20:14

Get some videos OP. Their dog vs your dog and try to capture some of the comments

Yes I have done this a few times. It’s utterly crazy because my dog barely barks compared to theirs - so I have some videos with my dogs mouth completely closed and their dog yapping in the background in some that are 10 minutes long.

I’m anxious that they are going to try and force us to get rid of our dog, I know the reality is our dog barely barks compared to theirs, but with the 2 households against us and backing each other it feels harder to fight. I hate them so much.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 25/07/2025 20:48

MC846 · 25/07/2025 20:05

They're clearly not bringing the company into disrepute and the bar is quite high if that's going to be your arguement at tribunal. There's nothing under employment law that covers being an areshole of a neighbour. Out of interest, what would you like to see an employer do?

A criminal behaviour order can be disclosed on background checks, potentially impacting job applications, especially for roles requiring enhanced or standard disclosure certificates. Background checks for many roles are carried out regularly. A breach of a CBO can result in further action including fines and in extreme cases imprisonment.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/07/2025 20:49

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 20:40

Yes I have done this a few times. It’s utterly crazy because my dog barely barks compared to theirs - so I have some videos with my dogs mouth completely closed and their dog yapping in the background in some that are 10 minutes long.

I’m anxious that they are going to try and force us to get rid of our dog, I know the reality is our dog barely barks compared to theirs, but with the 2 households against us and backing each other it feels harder to fight. I hate them so much.

They can’t force you to get rid of your dog. You need to do some research because you sound as though you’re living in fear, and that fear stems from the crap they’re feeding you. You have rights OP, make yourself aware of what they are.

redlightgreenlight123 · 25/07/2025 20:50

when I was a child I heard a story about one of my parents friends who had nuisance neighbours who were really loud. He sent his kids & wife away for the night and sat up all night playing the piano. Never heard a peep from them again. I always wonder if it was true. I do hope so.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 25/07/2025 20:57

HaveTheMostCFNeighbour · 25/07/2025 20:40

Yes I have done this a few times. It’s utterly crazy because my dog barely barks compared to theirs - so I have some videos with my dogs mouth completely closed and their dog yapping in the background in some that are 10 minutes long.

I’m anxious that they are going to try and force us to get rid of our dog, I know the reality is our dog barely barks compared to theirs, but with the 2 households against us and backing each other it feels harder to fight. I hate them so much.

I’m so sorry. It sounds horrible and you sound very scared. I know it could escalate but I do think you need some legal advice somehow. It’s bullying as much as it is the noise.

Bellyblueboy · 25/07/2025 20:59

Rosscameasdoody · 25/07/2025 20:48

A criminal behaviour order can be disclosed on background checks, potentially impacting job applications, especially for roles requiring enhanced or standard disclosure certificates. Background checks for many roles are carried out regularly. A breach of a CBO can result in further action including fines and in extreme cases imprisonment.

can I ask if you work in HR? Because your argument seems very odd. Do you have any legal training and have you ever been an employer?

I have never come across a low level neighbour dispute (which, while awful for OP, this is) impacting someone employment prospects.

Do you really think the behaviour described here gives rise to a CBO? OP hasn’t even made a complaint! Yes they are irritating, their children are unruly and they are loud. But I would be shocked if a CBO was considered appropriate at this stage. No employer with any sense would take any notice of this. In deed OP may be considered guilty of harassment if she started contacting her neighbors employers about barking dogs.

are you just doubling down becuase you have been questioned?

ns87 · 25/07/2025 21:22

I would do anything to move, surely the expense is worth it.

Dymaxion · 25/07/2025 21:52

Do you not have any loud, slightly intimidating relatives that could come to stay for a weekend ? I am sure you could rustle up a couple of 'cousins' from amongst your friends ?

I am willing to come and unleash my menopausal rage in their direction, honestly it would therapeutic and beneficial to my health. You could go away for a weekend, I will dog sit and restore some order Grin