Who do you love more your spouse or children?

[Batbrown]

Of course the love you have is different for each, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I did chat GPT and it basically said not to rank them. A spouse is someone you have a romantic commitment with, it’s a mutual respect, build on choice whilst the love you have for your children is based on instinct and responsibility, the relationship is not equal unlike a spouse and and based on guidance and provision. I think it’s also complex, not all parents like their children and some are NC or estranged so this could affect their choice. What about age? Some adult children only see their parents maybe once a month and live their own lives, does this affect the decision? I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer, everyone will have their own reasons.

My love for dp is conditional, my love for my dc is unconditional.

I would die for my dc, I wouldn't die for my dp.

You first Op!

I don’t have a husband so maybe different but I have a partner.
My children are the most important thing to me.
If I had to choose who to rescue in a fire or who to give a kidney to it would be my children not my partner.
I hope when my children get married/ have long term partners then their wife/ partner and children would become the most important people to them but to me they will always be my most important people.

I think it’s naive to say a husband will be with you until death because that’s just isn’t true in a lot of cases. SOME people stay together forever but not all of them. It isn’t guaranteed that you won’t be traded in for a younger model. It isn’t guaranteed that they aren’t doing something awful that you don’t know about.

Each to their own but that is my opinion.

The easiest way to answer this is who do you save first in a sinking ship?

The answer should be the child/ren. You are the reason they’re here.

I don’t love either more but I do love them differently. I’d do absolutely anything for my daughters and would give up anything. But I wouldn’t for my dh yet I absolutely adore him.
it’s different for each

@RepoTheGeriatricOpera has it spot on

I would save my child from a burning building over my husband, but at the same time I look forward to time away from my child in a way I don’t from my husband. The love is definitely different. It’s more consuming regarding my child but more comforting regarding my husband, I think.

Completely agree that the love for your children is unconditional. I love DH but there are times when our long marriage feels like a punishment, and I've never felt that once with our children.

Please don’t ask ChatGPT this kind of utterly human question. It’s a nonsense

I love dh, but I would sacrifice him in a heartbeat to save our children and I hope he’d say the same about me.

I love my child more. Yes, it’s different so maybe not directly comparable but I also know, instinctively, that I love my child more.

If my love for my son is a football pitch, then my love for my partner is a postage stamp. And I'm pretty sure partner would say same.

Kids. I think it’s natural. My husband and I have had much more of life than them - I’d save them over us in a sinking ship and give them the chance to live more of their lives. Also I really, really wouldn’t want to survive my children. For me, what would be the point of life without them.

Harry Styles

This. Especially given the hideous environmental impact of doing so: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/30/ugly-truth-ai-chatgpt-guzzling-resources-environment

They're not comparable.
This may should like total horseshit but I'll try to explain how I feel...

The love I have for my kids is an instinct to protect & nurture. It's less about choosing to love them but just a complete drive to, I'd take any pain to prevent theirs. They will (rightly) grow away from me and become new families which I hope I will be part of but shouldn't completely central to.

The love I have with DH is based on knowing each other deeply & growing together to make something bigger than us (even in the shit bits). Loving each other is a choice that we have made many, many times. I'd be there through any pain to love & support him, but wouldn't take the bullet, I don't think.
Life will change but I hope we continue to grow together.

Not necessarily , same with the burning building question , surely you save the one who is least able to save them self and then make sure everyone else is safe . So if you are an all adult family with a disabled husband you’d save him because the adult children would be capable of saving themselves .

It’s hypothetical question. You can only save ‘one’ (children or husband). It’s not real nor is it meant to be, but it does tell you who you love most, if you answer it.

As a hypothetical question, who do you save? You can only save ‘one’, your children or your husband?

Love my children more. 100%

He’s not even biologically mine, but I’d throw my partner directly into a burning building if it meant getting my stepson out of it.

I would also fully expect to be thrown to a firey death if the shoe was on the other foot. Obviously.

The dog 100%

Who would I save in a fire? When the kids were small then it would've been them over my then husband. Then they grew up, they left home and had lives of their own, I remarried and DH became terminally ill, in his last weeks I would've tried to save him first as the kids were fully functioning adults who could save themselves and DH was bedbound. Now I foster and I would put my vulnerable foster child first. Does it mean I love my kids less than the person I would prioritise in a life or death situation? I don't feel it does, they are still the people I love the most in the world.

This sums up my attitude.

I’d sacrifice my DH for my DC in some hypothetical “you can only save one” scenario (which is what he’d want as well!)