Who do you love more your spouse or children?

[Batbrown]

Of course the love you have is different for each, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I did chat GPT and it basically said not to rank them. A spouse is someone you have a romantic commitment with, it’s a mutual respect, build on choice whilst the love you have for your children is based on instinct and responsibility, the relationship is not equal unlike a spouse and and based on guidance and provision. I think it’s also complex, not all parents like their children and some are NC or estranged so this could affect their choice. What about age? Some adult children only see their parents maybe once a month and live their own lives, does this affect the decision? I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer, everyone will have their own reasons.

These women comprise very much a minority of the female population. There will always be outliers to any trend. This has clearly hit a nerve for you, and apologise if it is triggering for you in some way.

I'd do the same for my DC or foster ds who I've brought up since 5 and now he's 19. I love DH completely but the long I have for my DC and FC is all consuming.

I have my opinion, I don’t need to read a book by a journalist who has no professional science qualifications. More fool you for reading it.

Okay lovie 🤣 I’m sure everyone can see how much weight your opinion holds whilst you chose to conveniently ignore the whole body of literature that exists on this topic, good one 🤣

My child. 100%. Honestly no one on earth even comes close to the way I feel about my son, isn’t even a question for me

Also, just for anyone else who might be interested, here is the original, published scientific report. It’s peer reviewed. Or are these neuroscientists not professionals, OP?

www.nature.com/articles/nn.4458

Well you clearly care about my opinion if you’re desperate enough to suggest books to read. Can you not articulate an opinion yourself? How sad.

It's different.
My children are grown up and one is married. One is nearly there. I will likely never feel the need to live with my children again. I cannot imagine not living with my DH and if I ever have to my heart will probably break.

🤣

I suspect a lot of your opinions come down viewing women and men differently, especially if the mother if doing all the work and looking after the kids and husband is demanding sex.

👍 you’re probably right

Ah, I know I’m right.

It really is the different between conditional and unconditional love.

Children of course.
I’ve known one person be widowed and she killed herself as she couldn’t live without him, but she had kids who loved her.

@Batbrown separate from this topic, but Matrescence is actually a really incredible book - thorough, well-researched - and well worth a read. Lucy Jones is also really brilliant to hear talk! A very powerful read, I can highly recommend it. To you or anyone else reading this!