DD is pregnant at 14

[user224422]

Can’t believe I am writing this my DD is pregnant and she’s only 14. I’m shocked I posted on here for some support as I am a single parent and haven’t told anyone. My head is all over the place 😔

Sorry you are in this situation. Whilst I am pro life and anti abortion, it is your daughter's choice what she wants to do.

As she wants an abortion simply guide and support her through this - I see the relevant links have all been posted for you.

Hope it was consensual sex and your daughter has not been pressured into anything. Good luck x

You don’t believe that a woman has the right to make medical decisions about her own body? Are you in the US?

I’m so very sorry OP, you must be devastated. Is the father an adult? Did he take advantage of your child? I’d be finding this out alongside getting advice re: termination. If he was over 16 then I’d be classing this as rape as a child obviously cannot fully consent.

Unfortunately, at 19 weeks it’s unlikely to be done under general anaesthetic (asleep) and sadly, she may need to give birth to the fetus after he/she has been terminated. I’m not saying this for any reason other than to gently prepare you for what may lie ahead. Hopefully that’s not the case but it is a real possibility.
Best of luck. I hope whatever happens, it goes as well as it can do.

@AlertEagle

the foetus isn’t a baby so it’s not sad. It can’t exist outside of the mother and she doesn’t want it. What would be sad would be if abortion wasn’t a choice available and this child had to remain pregnant and give birth when she didn’t want to. Now that would be sad.

@AlertEagleThe fetus is in the child’s uterus not her stomach. That would be a medical emergency and would be frankly, mystifying.

https://www.nupas.co.uk/
https://www.msichoices.org/
https://www.bpas.org/

I'm sure this was a terrible shock for both of you, you both have my sympathy. I hope one of the service providers can give you an appointment quickly and that she will be willing to talk to you going forward about safe sex, the morning after pill and who the father was.

I agree especially I heard uk talking about doing the same they did in the us.

@SonK

pro-life aka removing girls and women’s autonomy over their own bodies. Great.

There is surgical abortion up to 24weeks

Later term abortions can be done under GA.

Nope. At 19 weeks surgical abortion under general anaesthetic is available. And what would be the point of adding to the stress for DD by launching accusations of rape ? Do you not think the situation is stressful enough ?

How is that a helpful comment?
It happens.

I am in the UK. I believe women should have an abortion for medical reasons; if it impacts their physical health or if they are mentally unstable and going ahead with a pregnancy will be detrimental to their current mental health.

I also believe rape victims or those pressured into sex should have an abortion if they want to.

It is my personal opinion which I am entitled to.

Keeping a baby you don’t want could have a far greater effect on a womans mental health then having a termination.

You might class it as rape
But it would sex with a minor ,if it a small age gap and they both consented the police wouldn't prosecute.

She can be offered a surgical TOP under general anaesthetic up to 23wk and 6 day, it’s a day surgery procedure dilatation and evacuation (D&E) and go home. V straightforward, v safe
Lets not catastrophize a day surgery procedure.

Thankfully the OP’s DD will be entitled to an abortion regardless of the circumstances.

I 100% believe in a woman’s right to choose - it’s between her and her medical practitioner.

It doesn't matter whst your opniin is this is.a 14 year old who is pregnant and she wants a termination that's all you need to know.

No she won't. That information is only relevant to that Trust (Guys & St Thomas'). Not all NHS hospital trusts have the same policy. While NHS hospitals generally offer both medical and surgical abortion methods, the specific approach for late-term abortions (after 18 weeks) may vary depending on the hospital and individual circumstances. This link makes it clear that D&E surgical abortions (as opposed to VA surgical abortions) are available in the latter stages of pregnancy from around 15 weeks up to the legal limit (23 weeks and 6 days): www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/abortion/what-happens/

She can be offered a surgical TOP under general anaesthetic up to 23wk and 6 day, it’s a day surgery procedure dilatation and evacuation (D&E) and go home. V straightforward, v safe
Lets not catastrophize a day surgery procedure.

Of course she’d be struggling mentally.
Priority is given to the sentient being. In this case it’s the teenager.
The foetus does not have awareness.
Lets not judge a pregnant female when we don’t know circumstances.

If you look, you will see that I did say that in my initial post, abortions are legal here and the DD has decided so OP should support her through it.

Yes I mentioned that I am anti - abortion as well to highlight that my opinion does not matter as the 14 year old has decided and that's all that matters...incase the OP who has posted is concerned about the ethical issues, even if ever so slightly x

There is a lot of pressure here for abortion only. It is ENTIRELY the teenager's choice and it should be an informed choice.

At 19 weeks, the baby is fully formed - brain, heart, lungs, ten little fingers and ten little toes. Its mother has probably already felt it moving and kicking. Try telling a woman who is nurturing her growing IVF baby that 'the foetus' is not a baby. Yes, make a choice but do not gloss over abortion, especially at this late stage, as if it is the easy painless way out. The mother at only 14 years old could be traumatised by the whole experience - not just the getting pregnant part. Whatever decision she makes, I wish her well.

@OutdoorQueen I have a friend who could tell a very similar success story and at a still young age (it's all relative), is surrounded by her loving children, grandchildren and now, great grandchildren. Apart from the babies, all of them hard working, contributing and kind members of society.

Thank you all for the advice, I have explained to DD what a termination will involve and she said she wants to contact BPAS tomorrow when her sisters are at school. I personally think she needs a bit of time to process everything she didn't know she was pregnant until yesterday so I think phoning them today would be a bit too soon.

The information I posted confirms this. And I don't know why you're suggesting I'm "catastrophising" the procedure - I've had one so I know it's very straightforward and very safe. Don't be so patronising.