DD is pregnant at 14

[user224422]

Can’t believe I am writing this my DD is pregnant and she’s only 14. I’m shocked I posted on here for some support as I am a single parent and haven’t told anyone. My head is all over the place 😔

Why would a D&E abortion be traumatic? She'd be under General Anaesthetic.

Poor kid, she must be so frightened.

Get the necessary steps underway now to arrange the termination.

Make sure she has reliable contraception going forward.

Talk to her about the sex she's having - is it consensual? Does she know how to stay safe from pregnancy and STIs? Was this a split condom scenario or an unprotected sex scenario? She's young to be sexually active - is she bowing to pressure or feeling influenced? A calm, compassionate, non-judgmental discussion is needed.

Reassure her that she's safe, there is a solution, and that if she wants children one day there is the time and place for it ahead. She may be relieved or she may feel grief. It might be traumatic. Meet her where she is with love and support, and help her onto a path where, going forward, she's only having the sex she wants to and is doing so safely.

It’s crazy to me for a child to be having sex so young and unprotected as well. Unfortunately she’s pregnant far along, the baby has a heartbeat and a gender for sure. It sad that the baby will die because of kids having kids. Hopefully it would be straight forward with no complications, I have a friend who had a termination around the same time, it went ok but she was suffering mentally after that.

Totally incorrect. The link is for terminations because of foetal abnormality. She will be able to have a surgical abortion under anaesthetic.

No advice but just to say I had my first child at 13 my (now) hubby was 14.

We are still happily together 30+ years later with 3 amazing adult children.

Yes it was difficult at times, I was massively judged, but in no way did it ruin my life!

I still got all my GCSE’s, A Levels, degree & masters.

We worked hard & built an amazing life together.

Whatever she decides to do let her talk it through with you, she will be terrified, in denial, in shock, defiant etc all at once. I knew I’d never be able to go through with adoption & the pressure on me to terminate was huge.

Even though you’re against the clock it has to be 100% her decision.

Good luck x

DD wants a termination. That there is a heartbeat and a gender is immaterial. There would be much more mental health damage inflicted by trying to persuade, or forcing a child to have a baby they don’t want.

It isn’t a baby - it’s cells which are yet viable. How is your comment helpful to the OP and her DD?

Please try and be helpful. That's why the OP came here.

Just because it worked out for you it doesn’t mean it will work for others, dont promote teenage pregnancies.

How is it 'heartbreaking'?

Rute Cardoso holding on to her husband's coffin yesterday was heartbreaking. The situation in the Middle East is heartbreaking. The late (and perfectly legal) termination of an unwanted pregnancy in a teenage girl is not heartbreaking. It is sensible.

This is not the 1930s and it is not the end of the world. We live in a time of pro choice.
BPAS will help your daughter make an informed decision.

Support her, love her and be there.

I disagree, at 19 weeks you can tell the gender it isnt just cells just because its in the stomach.

If there was a laughing emoji I’d have used it.

Im not promoting anything other than it being 100% her DD’s choice?

Yep, it did work out for me because it doesn’t have to be the end of the world!

@Rosscameasdoody

The actual child is OP’s daughter, not the foetus. It’s OP’s daughter that matters here, what’s best for her is all that counts.

Please stop. There is nothing crazy about a female human capable of getting pregnant to get pregnant. We don't know the circumstances.

poor girl you must be so confused and your daughter too
does the father know he should do really but its your daughters choice
some people have suggested places to ring but maybe see your GP. i am not sure but I am assuming if it is termination he would be able to refer your daughter to where she needs to be
sending hugs to you all

The stomach?

Lord preserve us.

I will say it again do not promote teenage pregnancies. Here is the laughing emoji you was looking for 😂😂😂😂😂 im sure you got a free house and endless housing benefit when you popped your kid.

@AlertEagle

whats it having a gender got to do with anything? It’s a foetus and OP’s daughter wants an abortion so that’s what is going to happen. Also, I think you mean sex not gender

It’s a 14 years old child, too young to be a mom. She would be better to focus on studying, living her life with friends and experiencing the world.

I had an abortion at 25 yrs old so I'm definitely not anti abortion.. I wasn't far along with my pregnancy and was asleep for the procedure. There were dozens of young girls being done the same day as me. I don't know their ages but say in their teens/early 20s.

I feel for you OP and your DD.. At 14, my own DD was still going through puberty. My own feeling is that 14 is too young to birth a fully grown baby.

I wish you both well. The father of the baby should be educated about birth control as well as your daughter though.

Wow!

Nope, no benefits, you can’t claim them under 16. Same for having your own house!

If I could be bothered I’d explain it to you properly but feel I’d need crayons for you to fully understand.

What an utterly judgmental muppet!

yes I agree she should have a termination, she’s probably scared so kept it a secret for so long. It’s sad the foetus will have to die because two kids were not being careful.

Its gender is irrelevant. It’s an unwanted pregnancy. I think you need a biology lesson - the fetus isn’t in her stomach!!!

Pushing a pram at 14 is not a flex. I’m glad it worked out for you though.