DD is pregnant at 14

[user224422]

Can’t believe I am writing this my DD is pregnant and she’s only 14. I’m shocked I posted on here for some support as I am a single parent and haven’t told anyone. My head is all over the place 😔

Shes clear on what she wants. She’s only 14 so she has acted like any 14 year old in delaying telling anyone in the hope that it will all just go away. But she is clear on what she wants. Support her by organising it.
Counselling for both of you as well. What a shock for you.

For whom, I wonder

No.

The traumatisation of a 14 year old having to birth a baby and then hand it to someone else would be devastating. Never mind the impact on the baby who will hold the trauma of being separated from their mother for their whole life.

OP, I hope you can get her the support she needs (both medically and emotionally) as quickly as possible.

This makes not sense.
Edited as I misread how far op's DD is.

The size of the foetus is irrelevant.
Op's DD is not a baby machine.

Also, op's DD has already said she wants an abortion.

So a child should be treated as an incubator, and go through adoption trauma all because of a six inch fetus?

Yeah, no. Move along.

It’s 19 weeks though.
I think at this stage it’s a case of weighing up the least traumatic option.

Edit: the poster I was replying to has edited their comment.

Sending best wishes to @user224422 and her daughter. Speed essential now 💐

be proud she has confided in you, no matter your feelings just support her.
Having a baby at her age means you will need to parent a newborn again whilst supporting her to transition into that role and that will be tough for you parenting a teenager and a baby at the same time when you’ll be told you’re not the parent of your grandchild in tough times or having to pick the pieces up when your child isn’t able to deal with a baby.

NUPAS and Marie Stopes, too.

She must be terrified. My heart breaks for her.

You’ve got a tough time ahead but you will get through it. She has the support of her mum and that will ensure she will be ok

Thank you for showing everyone how much you value ideology over reality. Putting a 14yr old through pregnancy, birth and separation, and a newborn through a traumatic separation would be horrible.

This is not helpful at all.

Forcing a literal child to give birth is not humane. She isn’t even old enough to legally consent to having sex.

FYI Abortion is legal up to 23 weeks and 6 days, in the UK.
As with other posters please speak to BPAS or NUPAS as soon as you can.
Good luck OP.
Thinking about you and your DD. x

Thank you for saying this 🙌

There is no non-traumatic option now.

Has she told you who she had sex with + was it consensual?

I cannot imagine how scared she must be to be honest.

get the abortion she wants and needs, lots of TLC and support, then a safety and contraception chat. If she’s got you alongside her she will be fine.

I can imagine what a shock for you both. It's great she's told you.
Has she had a gp appointment?
It is also good she's made the decision what to do next, so now you know your next steps and how to support her.
Do you have any one in real-life who can support you?.
Sending hugs 💐

She doesn't need a GP appointment, she can contact NUPAS, BPAS or Marie Stopes directly.

A loss at 20 weeks is classed as a still birth in the US and Australia. I know what I’m talking about here, please believe me when I say that a ‘termination’ is also going to be a primal wound. I know that I could have never have recovered from it. To me it would have been more traumatic and life changing than the other options.

My beat friend had a baby at 19 after a childhood full of trauma. She was too scared to tell anyone she wanted an abortion after growing up in a Catholic family. She gave her life to raising the child and having had no support, the child, now a woman doesn't speak to her. It could have been far worse, but please OP concentrate on your daughter as she is now. This is already traumatic for both of you, just do what you needto do as a mother.

Best of luck to you and please ignore any one else's opinion, just do what you need to for your daughter. I hope you have someone to talk to if you need it, but you are doing really well.

Surgical abortion is going to be traumatic.

She is 14 FFS. I suggest this thread is not the place for you.

14??? Bloody hell. You must be all over the place. Deep breaths. I agree with getting her an appointment with a clinic to discuss a termination as that's what she wants, just to be sure she's sure & knows what will happen.

I think at 14 it is for the best.

Di you know who the father is? Was the sex consensual?

Poor kid xy

Please leave it. I'm sure you mean well, but perhaps it's better to have a primal wound than ongoing trauma.

There aren't any easy answers.