DD is pregnant at 14

[user224422]

Can’t believe I am writing this my DD is pregnant and she’s only 14. I’m shocked I posted on here for some support as I am a single parent and haven’t told anyone. My head is all over the place 😔

Oh bloody hell. Assume she has a regular boyfriend? Does he know yet? Did you know they were having sex?

Poor daughter, poor you. This happened to two girls at my school. They were both 14. One kept it, one had an abortion. The one who kept the baby (she had a ‘serious boyfriend’), had no life, it’s affected everything ever since. The other one, who had a termination, went to uni got a good job etc etc. Most people didn’t know she got pregnant. Cliched but this is what happened.

That really isn’t necessarily the case. TOP doesn’t equate life long trauma. It really doesn’t. Often It is a necessary and desired outcome . Let’s not portray all TOP as a life long trauma form which women cannot recover. It’s a health intervention that doesn’t necessarily result in trauma. It’s a health intervention that all women should be able to chose without alarmist sentiment and prophesies of doom and trauma

Why be so fucking nosy about that? How is that helpful🙄

I'm adopted too, and have wonderful adoptive parents who have given me a fantastic life. I've been very blessed after being born three months prematurely to my drug addicted birth mum (who sadly passed away a couple of years ago).

While I fully understand that she needed to give me a better life, I still have that deep primal wound that comes to the surface every now and then. It's a feeling of being unable to fully understand the way I am, it is hard to put into words.

what a stressful situation for you OP. Agree on acting very quickly on this incase estimated gestation is incorrect.

19 weeks is quite far along, I’m sure you are now getting advice and help. Is there a possibility that she could be further along than that Op ? You need her to be seen and scanned asap.
I feel for you, what a difficult situation for both of you, I hope she is ok.

It's not very helpful to predict how the OP's DD will feel if she has a termination. What really matters is that she has the support of her mum, feels able to express what she is thinking, and can access counselling if appropriate. I hope you are finding support here, OP, and that you will stay here for as long as you need to.

Good luck! Hopefully she goes ahead with the termination. Ask them to put a coil in at the same time.

What is wrong with you? What an inappropriate comment!

@user224422 I'm so sorry OP, you must be shell-shocked. It's a pity your DD left it so late to tell you and you're going to have to get your skates on to help her, but at least she's clear about what she wants. I was in her situation (at 17) and contacted BPAS who were excellent - really supportive and non-judgemental: https://www.bpas.org/contact-us/
I can honestly say I don't have a single regret about my termination - I know I would not have had the wonderful life I've had if I'd gone through with the pregnancy. Very best of luck to both of you. 🤗

That link describes the procedure for termination for medical reasons. It is jot the procedure that the ops daughter eill go through.
Sheceill be given a general anaesthetic and given a dilation and evacuation procedure.

My heart goes out to you both.
She is making the right choice.
I'm the child of a teenage mother and it's just not worth it. It seems ok while the kid is young - kids don't know any better - but long term it's been awful.
And she is still a kid too.

She’s showing maturity in wanting to terminate.
Perhaps visit your GP? They will be able to give more advice and arrange contraception.
Shit happens, it’s life. Don’t beat yourself or your daughter up. Lessons learned and solutions available.
The support and love you give now will only pave the way for a closer relationship later on.

Pregnant at 14 thats crazy.

Before posting on a thread like this, why not ask yourself "Is this helpful?"

The OP doesn’t need this sort of advice - she’s already in a state @AlertEagle

Wishing you and your DD well, @user224422 .

I haven't RTFL but am reflecting back on the recent stories about the MP who was pregnant at 15. She was groomed and raped by an older man, but didn't realise it at the time - she just took the shame and the blame.

In hindsight she couldn't understand why no-one asked how it happened, the age of the father, was it consensual etc etc

So, after you have got through the next few weeks, those might be some questions to raise.

You DD is lucky to have you.

That’s your sole contribution.What does your post add?
It isn’t crazy. It’s unexpected. It’s unplanned. It’s fixable

Typical anti abortion stance. Only interested in the nine months gestation and couldn’t give a shit what happens to the actual child, or the mother. Such hypocrisy.

And this is helpful how exactly ?

Assuming there was consent, of course.

Probably best not to assume, or speculate at this point.

@user224422

Have you been able to make an appointment for her, OP?

Sending both of you warm wishes.

.

No, i think the term ‘push it’ is much more appropriate to the anti abortion lobby than pro choice. Not least because the only interest is in preventing the abortion. What happens to the child and the mother after seems to be of little consideration.