DD is pregnant at 14

[user224422]

Can’t believe I am writing this my DD is pregnant and she’s only 14. I’m shocked I posted on here for some support as I am a single parent and haven’t told anyone. My head is all over the place 😔

How on earth do you know her mum is supportive, given she’s only posted twice?

This isn’t the thread for you.

Ffs 🙄

If that had been an option for my Birth Mum then it might have been better for her, she suffered for many, many years with the decision she made. (Whilst I also struggled with her decisions)
The apple didn’t fall far from the cart and when I was 17 and I made a different decision to her.

I have no regrets as I had a choice.

edited to say… actually she didn’t make a decision.. she was FORCED to carry me to term on the basis of religion…

Bollocks. People have as much right to offer alternatives to abortion as you have to push it.

Thank you for your honest answer.i guess I also meant, would it have been better for you, I hope not if you know what I mean.

I'm not pushing it. The OPs DD has said its what she wants it her decision and no, no one has a right to try push anything on her. It is a 14 yo child we are talking about here. I am sure OP is more than aware of the options. Pro lifers should not even be opening this thread IMO. Totally inappropriate comments.

Stop projecting. She'll be asleep for the procedure and won't see a thing.

Not everyone finds abortions traumatic. Some women just feel immense relief.

No one’s pushing it, the OPs daughter has asked for one!

It's not sick at all, it is stating a fact!

Yes, at 19 weeks there is no way this isn't going to be traumatic, no matter what option she takes. If she terminates, she will have to give birth to the baby, even though it's much smaller than a full term baby. I can't see how this isn't going to be traumatic no matter what.

She's so young, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this by yourself.Time is of the essence and I hope you both get all the help and guidance you need.

I am a very pragmatic non ideological person and an atheist, my comments don’t come from moral absolutism. It’s not as black and white as that on this issue despite how many would like to think so.

I certainly would not have opened the thread if I had known the details, it’s very triggering for me.

I feel for you all OP. I know it’s a terrible situation, not of your daughter’s making and heartbreaking for all. No easy way I know.

https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/health-information/medical-termination-pregnancy-over-18-weeks-gestation

she is 19 weeks it is a going to be traumatic and not necessarily under general anaesthetic

they need to act fast because after 22 weeks will be even more brutal

whatever happens now is going to affect her life the simple tablet taking abortion is long gone as is the simple D&C those are the far less traumatic ones.

given it is likely to be 20 weeks by the time the OP and her daughter need to be prepared.

Does she know she has other options? Would you consider raising the baby as her sister, or helping her? I know a mum that did this for her young daughter until the mum was old enough to be able to care for her.

This is so tough, I hope she wasn’t SA, and she must be terrified. Abortion can also be traumatic, especially at that late stage. She needs to be fully informed, as even though a termination may be the only choice she feels she has, it’s a huge deal. Sending hugs

If the poor child is under a general then yes, better for her, I guess of course that will be the case. Just will need to prepare for if and when she looks into the reality later in life, or worst scenario goes through it at a similar point in a voluntary pregnancy in adulthood.

Thank you for your response, I get a little defensive on this topic.
i’m happy I’m here and grateful for the life I’ve lived but I’m aware of the impact it had on both of us.

Termination/Adoption/Parenting…. All of them will provide their own challenges.

If your daughter wants a termination then go with her wishes. Ignore the idiots here that aren’t going though it. Of course it will be traumatic for her but it is her decision. The best thing you can do is support her and have an adult conversation about how she got here and how she can move forward includimg birth control and discussions about sex. It isn’t easy but she is sexually active and you need to discuss where she is right now and what will happen going forward.

It’s a raw area for me too, thank you for understanding. I am glad you are happy to be here.

Not everyone finds abortions traumatic. Some women just feel immense relief

So now the child is a woman who will feel relief after getting her abortion?

I think both options will be hard choices. All these previous posters saying "not all women regret their abortions", need to stop. We aren't talking about a woman. We are talking about a kid. Being 19 weeks she's going to need dilation and evacuation (D&E) style abortion which could be traumatic but on then other hand going through a full term pregnancy and live birth could easily be just as traumatic (and more dangerous).

Both sides need to stop painting each thing as a walk in the park.

Disgusting comment. I've lost a few pregnancies because of the way I'm built (get fertile but can't carry). Some of miscarriage in the range you are alluding to. Just nasty. And yes I've had to have medical removals. So please just don't.

And put a 14 year old through that - no way. The quicker she tries to get her life back on track the better.

Oh, do fuck off!

You'd rather a child who's made a mistake be forced to go through a pregnancy and the trauma of giving birth AND risking possibly life changing birth injuries rather than having a simple medical procedure? She's a child!

Would you advise your daughter to do this against her will?

At 14 abortion is the only option so she can get back to school and a future.

I think we have to realise this is not going to be 'a simple medical procedure'. She's 19 weeks. There isn't an easy option anymore.