I was thinking how strange this all is then when you mentioned your neighbours being possibly from Southeast Asia it jogged my memory about a friend I had…
I met her at the gym and she was a beautician and Vietnamese and we became good friends but often found the culture differences between us funny and interesting. She started doing my nails and lashes and in return I’d help her learn English, fill in any paperwork (like car insurance renewals, applying for credit cards etc) and I’d go to her house a few times a week and sometimes babysit her daughter.
I had been in almost every room of her house except a room next to the bathroom with the door always closed, one day I distractedly opened the wrong door and there was a woman with a baby in the room on just a mattress on the floor, she put her finger to her lips but didn’t speak any English.
I obviously told my friend I’d seen her as the lady with the baby was likely to say I had, my friend said “she’s there to stay safe” I assumed she’d fled an abusive relationship.
I saw the lady a few times the following weeks and I held and played with the baby, she never left that room (whilst I was there) and as far as I was aware no one knew she was there. I spoke to her without my friend and asked if she needed help (via google translate) and she seemed horrified I’d asked and had even assumed she might need rescuing.
One day lady with baby had gone and in her place was a young pregnant teen, again she was in the room with a mattress, never left, didn’t speak much English but seemed happy to be there and it was explained as keeping her safe, she stayed there till about a month from when she had the baby then one day was gone.
After this there was a woman with a toddler and then a woman with no kids, this went on for years and I didn’t have a clue what to do. My friend insisted if I ever told anyone I’d put these women at risk, she had her own daughter who went to school and was happy and cared for and an English boyfriend who was often there.
I wanted to ask him about it but I never felt I could, he was a lovely man who was obviously aware of what was going on and supported it.
I know in Vietnamese culture some women don’t go out for a month or more after having a baby, my friend said it’s old fashioned but some women still stick to it. My friend grew up in poverty till she married an older man to come to the UK, she has a heart of gold and was very passionate about women’s rights and as a Buddhist wanted to dedicate her life to helping people, she did a huge amount for charity and in the local community and during Covid she visited all her neighbours offering help and food when she was struggling for money herself.
I never found out why the women were there but I trust they were there for their own safety, they were all Vietnamese. My friend ended up in an abusive marriage with her older English husband and said that’s very common for Vietnamese women so that could be a part explanation.
The first woman with the baby I saw in the house now works in a local nail bar with a child in school so I know she is ok and the authorities know she is here and has a child, hopefully it’s similar with the rest. I know it seems crazy I didn’t delve into it more but I was scared of putting women at risk.
As for gardening at night and the others things OP said her neighbours get up to… I have a lot of friends from different countries (Portuguese, Turkish, Polish, Tunisian, Iranian etc) and there are cultural differences between them all and myself, I find it fascinating but I imagine there is plenty that the neighbours would question 😂.
I have worked nights for years and so has my DP so we are practically nocturnal, he is Persian and we often visit family and friends later as they also lead a later lifestyle. They are also so loud! We joke all the time that there is no volume control on Asian people. I tell DP he doesn’t need to phone his family in Iran and they can probably hear him from here 😆.
My Portuguese friend comes from a culture where you stay inside during the afternoon during the hottest time of day and they often eat late, in fact I usually go round to most of my friends houses and we eat late including the children, most come from a hotter country where life is adapted round the climate and as its cultural it’s carried on in this country.
During Ramadan we eat late including friends who visit with kids and they go home quite late, I could envision people raising their eyebrows about children being taken round to see family and friends late into the evening but it’s part of their culture and religion they want their children to be a part of.
As a pp said who works nights, when you are nocturnal gardening and eating meals at night, and having late visitors becomes normal as you literally live your life back to front from others. My DP repotted a plant at midnight last night and we hang the washing out at 4.30am as it’s getting light, we often eat our evening meal after midnight. It’s so normal for us but my neighbours didn’t see me for over a year after I moved in as I’d finish work when they were in bed asleep then be asleep when they were at work and leave for work when they were preparing to go to bed. My curtains stayed closed the whole of winter and they thought I was very strange till I explained 😂.
I do actually think OP should report some of her concerns though, it is likely some of it is cultural but with children involved it’s always better to be safe than sorry, if it’s innocent no harm done - the family could even be grateful for the support.
A lot of my friends struggled when they first arrived in this country and would have appreciated help or a welfare check, the reason my Vietnamese friend escaped her abusive husband was neighbours reporting the shouting and her daughter crying. My friend didn’t speak much English at the time and was completely isolated, it was a blessing her neighbours did the right thing.
We turn our backs to things in this country out of fear of being nosy or being a grass or snitch, we hear far too often of kids being hurt, abused or even killed with no one intervening and so I’d prefer to be safe then sorry and know I could have prevented a tragedy. I have seen other posts similar to this with the OP being concerned but then being berated for just being a busy body.
There is also the risk of being accused of being racist if you so much as comment on someone being from a different country on this site which makes people nervous. I have seen ridiculous comments like someone mentioning they had a Ukrainian guest and asking for advice on how to support them and someone posting “why did you need to mention they were Ukrainian” and on one post being offended they were referred to as a guest!
I have lived in other countries that were poorer when it came to money but were rich when it came to support and community and having the literal village that we often desire when raising children. What we call being nosy and spying on neighbours I witnessed as people looking out for each other and being concerned. I wish there were more people looking out for each other and asking questions when things don’t seem right, it would make this country a far nicer place.