Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Why are there so many men on this site?

359 replies

19ptrialprice · 01/07/2025 21:32

There seems to be an increasing number of men on this website. These men appear to present themselves as straight cisgender men. This isn’t a trans issue. I don’t understand why a website that was created specifically for mums have a large number of men on it.

I understand why childfree women join as there are a lot of threads that are not about parenting. Childfree women will also use the site to get advice on TTC or miscarriage which are women exclusive, in the sense that women are the ones that give birth and also have to go through miscarriage. Men of course will experience child birth and grief but it’s the women, whose bodies have to experience this. Women have a shared experience of being a woman for example starting your period, growing breasts, TTC, miscarriage and menopause. Something that men’s body will never experience. Of course men are entitled to use this site but why should women have to put up with the men that are making sexist goady comments, which they are a lot of.

Should say this post is influenced by a man who told me to fuck off on this site after I called him out on his sexist behaviour.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Thingyfanding · 01/07/2025 23:42

@urbanbuddha is PigetJohn the handyman/plumber person

Thingyfanding · 01/07/2025 23:43

My boyfriend used mumsnet for advice on schools

urbanbuddha · 01/07/2025 23:44

@Thingyfanding

Yes, but you are massively underselling him with that description.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 01/07/2025 23:46

DinaofCloud9 · 01/07/2025 21:54

The ones that come on with their never ending posts moaning about their wives and wanting sympathy do my head in.

Normal men are fine.

The men in the sex topic are creeps.

Urgh disgusting.

OP posts:
Newnamehiwhodis · 01/07/2025 23:46

They’re lonely. Men can never leave women alone and just let us exist in peace. They’re needy. I wish they’d GO AWAY.
it seems to draw the type of men who think everyone is breathlessly waiting for their opinion, like we can’t exist without their “help.”
or then there are the bored schoolboys who are doing it for excitement, laughs, attention.

it all boils down to: needy.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 01/07/2025 23:47

roseymoira · 01/07/2025 21:55

I don’t think I’ve ever seen them ask for parenting advice. They normally post on Relationships, saying they are having problems in their marriages. If you manage to make it through the thread it’s always that their wife isn’t having enough sex with them. They are hoping for a female pov how to encourage their wives to have sex more

Exactly. Nothing to do with it parenting all about sex.

OP posts:
Original poster
19ptrialprice · 01/07/2025 23:52

ItsCalledAConversation · 01/07/2025 21:55

It’s not unwelcome from me - I’d rather it stayed predominantly female though.

I am, however, a member of a Facebook community for female runners - runners who are getting on a bit, not fast, not glamorous. It’s a very safe space to be vulnerable. That’s until two or three men joined (why the admins let them, I don’t know) and daily post their routes, their PBs and their horrid sweaty grinning faces. It’s put me right off tbh. I don’t hate men but I do value female-only spaces online and for exercise.

I have no issue with men. I have wonderful men in my life but I do have an issue with men who are men posting sexist comments and very disturbing comments on posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
19ptrialprice · 01/07/2025 23:54

soupyspoon · 01/07/2025 22:03

Ive had womensplaining just this very evening about something Im quite an expert in! Its not reserved to men!

Show quote history

What were they explaining?

OP posts:
stayathomer · 01/07/2025 23:56

when my friend’s dh was made redundant they decided he should become a sahd. At the time I was a sahm. When they came over my friend and my dh were talking work and I asked how it was going. He said there was never enough time in the day, that he could get the house to the standard he wanted without the kids not getting enough time, that his mum was expecting him to drive her everywhere, that the people he worked with were saying how lucky he wasn’t working etc etc. We had a long chat and my friend said afterwards it had helped as he said he couldn’t talk to many people about it. I’d guess the dads are here as women are for tips and tricks, for help, advice, and like we are for a break while laughing at the little things that happen. Aldi the other side of the coin on relationship stuff, which I think it’s great men hear.

In my ten plus years on mn I can’t remember any problems I’ve personally had with men, all the bullies/ horrible people have been women as far as I know

As an aside I’m Irish and for the first three years I was on mn I was terrified someone would tell me I wasn’t welcome here!!

StrikeForever · 02/07/2025 00:02

I agree. I think it’s weird that a man would choose to join a site called MN. However, I posted this on AIBU last year and got absolutely hammered for my view - by other women 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:06

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 01/07/2025 22:38

I'm male. I've also been here over a decade. I made an account because over the course of about 3 weeks I googled for info on a plumbing issue, some information on ISAs, and something about a holiday destination (I forget exactly what) and all 3 times I found useful info on Mumsnet.

I don't often start my own threads (although the advice I got here when DD started her first period while DP was out of the country was absolutely invaluable), but I do post on others quite frequently. Generally I don't even mention I'm male, although I will "Man here!" if its relevant. I'm a regular voice on any threads about erectile dysfunction for instance, because its something I have direct experience of that the majority of posters here won't. I also generally won't contribute to threads and topics that I reckon a male voice wouldn't be welcome in (although I've learnt a spectacular amount by being a spectator in the Feminism boards over the years.)

I do get what you mean OP that there seems to be an increase of male posters recently, and I do think thats a shame, because the fact that the majority voice here is female is what makes this site unique. And I also get that thats rather hypocritical. But as long as Mumsnet itself says I'm welcome here, then I'm going to take advantage of what is an absolutely fantastic resource.

So out of the hundreds of pages of information on google you’ve chosen Mumsnet of all places to get your advice? Not specialised websites that deal solely with those specific topics? Interesting.

OP posts:
Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:10

StrikeForever · 02/07/2025 00:02

I agree. I think it’s weird that a man would choose to join a site called MN. However, I posted this on AIBU last year and got absolutely hammered for my view - by other women 🤷‍♀️

I don’t understand why these women hammered you? I suspect they are the pick me types. I’m thick skinned, I can take the hate 🤣 The excuse of well it’s a parenting website doesn’t wash with me. Maybe I’m just not that naive to think a man would have an alternative agenda.

OP posts:
Tetchypants · 02/07/2025 00:16

Samas · 01/07/2025 21:52

Yes, men can be parents too. However, men cannot be mums.

They can be the closest thing a child has to a mum, though. My friend is on here, he was widowed at 38 and is now navigating parenting teenage girls. He finds this site invaluable.

He doesn’t announce he’s a bloke, because the threads he identifies with are about parenting not just mumming, and he knows people will treat him differently.

Honestly, pretty sad.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:17

soupyspoon · 01/07/2025 22:39

So because you've been challenged, the person must be a man (again the worst thing someone can be accused of on here!!)

Quite honestly, a huge amount of posters on here are idiots, me included, so why men get singled out for being the same I dont know.

Show quote history

A lot of these men poster never post on the parenting topics but only posts about their wives not wanting sex. If you’re too obtuse to understand my point I can’t help you.

OP posts:
Promo981 · 02/07/2025 00:19

I've seen posts from men who are lone parents to girls seeking advice and think it is wonderful that they are seeking advice from mums and females about how to navigate some life situations they have never experienced or have experienced as a male, so differently.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:22

Theyreeatingthedogs · 01/07/2025 23:00

To be fair women are also gatecrashing mens spaces.BBC News - 'We put the pressure on to join Men in Sheds' - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg5qd9l3094o?app-referrer=deep-link

Good for them. Them men will know how we feel.

OP posts:
AquaCat93 · 02/07/2025 00:23

I have seen more men posting on the relationship board, usually they are about to get flamed.

Otherwise am probably vastly unaware of whether they are a male or female poster.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:24

JohnnyLuLus · 01/07/2025 23:10

What annoys me about it is that women built this site into what it is. Not just Justine and the team, I mean the users who essentially create the "content" and make it the success. Women have put in the work and men come along and use it, when they have plenty of their own spaces. It's the online equivalent of women carrying the emotional load.

There's a particular poster who comes on to defend men in relationship threads - repeatedly complaining about the use of the term LTB, when actually we know that all too often women don't LTB when they should.

Men have plenty of online spaces. They should use those. If they want a woman's opinion in those spaces, they should bloody well work on making them welcoming and accessible to women..

It reminds me of the dads who don't have any interest in the class WhatsApp group, don't put any effort into the minutiae of non-uniform days, timetables, school trips, teacher collections,missing jumpers etc but then do the whole "What about the dads, why don't we get a night out?" when the mums' WhatsApp group organises a night out. Fuck off. Build it yourself.

Well said

OP posts:
AquaCat93 · 02/07/2025 00:32

Overall I don't see what is suspicious about men using MN - I get that there are wierdos and probably a prevalence of more wierdos in the male population and there's mansplaining and the like, but don't see why it's interesting that someone came, liked the diversity of advice and stayed.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:34

mn5962 · 01/07/2025 23:11

@19ptrialprice Whether you like it or agree with it or not mumsnet is not and never has been for women. It was designed for parents and over the years other topics have appeared to discuss but they are open to all…..just ask Justine the MN founder.

I agree there are many men on here who are pervy to say the least. Just ignore or report and stay away from the sex topic. That said get away from the thought that MN is or was designed solely for women because it wasn’t and isn’t.

I disagree. It’s a PR response about being inclusive otherwise they would have been flamed. If it is designed for parents so fair to say issues that affect women and men why aren’t there any male specify topics on their home page for example erection dysfunction?

Why are there so many men on this site?
OP posts:
notacooldad · 02/07/2025 00:34

It’s not called parentsnet though.
Boots isnt called ' make up and medicines and you can't buy boots there but everyone knows its called Boots.

The name has been around for a couple of decades and the site has evolved.

The single women baffle me.
Don't single woman want relationship advice, or talk about what on the telly?They might get planning a holiday or doing some gardening or they've read a great book they want to discuss in the book section. Perhaps they go camping or skiing and want to share advice or they've taken up weightlifting and need a programme.
Honestly, this is a daft comment.

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:35

TheWisePlumDuck · 01/07/2025 23:14

The number one reason for the recent increase is the sex topic.

Predators go where the prey is and all that. Not exactly hard to find a vulnerable woman here. We post our weaknesses for all to see.

I don't doubt there are a minority that are here for parenting support/wisdom. However just like in real life, I usually assume that good decent men don't trample into women's spaces, whether they are 'allowed' to or not.

Exactly 👍🏼

OP posts:
Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:38

BIWI · 01/07/2025 23:26

Why doesn’t he have his own account? I find that more disturbing, tbh, that he isn’t posting in good faith as a man.

Show quote history

Very weird. They may be one of them couples that share social media accounts. Seems rather controlling to me.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 02/07/2025 00:38

This topic comes around every few weeks!
Seriously, Posters should be encouraged to use a search button to see if their topic has recently been discussed. This one is probably the most frequently discussed and always has the comment 'its called mumsnet, not parentsnet' lol 😆 😂

Original poster
19ptrialprice · 02/07/2025 00:40

Thingyfanding · 01/07/2025 23:43

My boyfriend used mumsnet for advice on schools

Interesting he couldn’t find that advice from the numerous dad based websites.

OP posts: