Why are there so many men on this site?

[19ptrialprice]

There seems to be an increasing number of men on this website. These men appear to present themselves as straight cisgender men. This isn’t a trans issue. I don’t understand why a website that was created specifically for mums have a large number of men on it.

I understand why childfree women join as there are a lot of threads that are not about parenting. Childfree women will also use the site to get advice on TTC or miscarriage which are women exclusive, in the sense that women are the ones that give birth and also have to go through miscarriage. Men of course will experience child birth and grief but it’s the women, whose bodies have to experience this. Women have a shared experience of being a woman for example starting your period, growing breasts, TTC, miscarriage and menopause. Something that men’s body will never experience. Of course men are entitled to use this site but why should women have to put up with the men that are making sexist goady comments, which they are a lot of.

Should say this post is influenced by a man who told me to fuck off on this site after I called him out on his sexist behaviour.

If someone told you to fuck off then report it and they'll be dealt with. Like anyone on here.

If you use inflammatory words in your opening post then people will wonder if you're posting in good faith

You did ask.

Exactly. They wouldn’t. The man in question made up a very non convincing story about him having full custody of his kids hence why he is on here. Yeah, I’m sure that happened. If it’s true more worrying that he’s in charge of kids and thinking it’s acceptable to tell a woman to fuck off for calling him out.

Hate it. If it's clear a man posts I stop reading.

DH uses and replies on my account often. It’s a parenting forum, something we do together.

Before we got together he was raising DSD alone for 5 years and if he’d known this site was available it would have been amazing for him.

I think there’s much more on this site for fathers than there is women without children.

There is Dadsnet, but it's tumbleweed over there. Men don't want to talk to other men. They all think they're great and right all the time anyway, so pointless talking to other men who also think they're great and right. Much rather hop onto MN, flex their muscles and lecture women, who are often filled with socially conditioned insecurities.

Also, men don't generally care about other men (they don't care much about women either - only the ones who serve a purpose). Take Race for Life - established by women, run by women for women. Men started to complain about being excluded, but rather than set up their own race, for men, they pushed their way into this women's event. We have a men's social at our local church on a Saturday morning. It's to help men connect with each other and open up emotionally, the aim being to improve their mental wellbeing. Who facilitates this group? Why women of course - the service humans.

Men tend to dominate in mixed sex groups, so it's important to protect female only spaces so that women's voices are heard. It would be very disappointing if MN came to be dominated by men. I think most come here initially for the sex board and then can't resist imparting their wisdom on other subjects. Even if their knowledge is scant they will harangue highly knowledgeable women on any subject.

The saying "Lord give me the confidence of a mediocre white man" exists for a reason.

I’m guessing you’re deliberately missing the point. You clearly have your own agenda so okay. You do you. But this thread is about men being on this site not about the word cis-gender. Bye.

And yet you have posted on a thread that is not about parenting.

Heh, no agenda, you asked. I answered. Don't ask questions if the answer irritates you.

Annoys me too

To be fair women are also gatecrashing mens spaces.BBC News - 'We put the pressure on to join Men in Sheds' - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg5qd9l3094o?app-referrer=deep-link

It doesn’t irritate me but it does not contribute to the discussion whatsoever as it’s off topic.

What annoys me about it is that women built this site into what it is. Not just Justine and the team, I mean the users who essentially create the "content" and make it the success. Women have put in the work and men come along and use it, when they have plenty of their own spaces. It's the online equivalent of women carrying the emotional load.

There's a particular poster who comes on to defend men in relationship threads - repeatedly complaining about the use of the term LTB, when actually we know that all too often women don't LTB when they should.

Men have plenty of online spaces. They should use those. If they want a woman's opinion in those spaces, they should bloody well work on making them welcoming and accessible to women..

It reminds me of the dads who don't have any interest in the class WhatsApp group, don't put any effort into the minutiae of non-uniform days, timetables, school trips, teacher collections,missing jumpers etc but then do the whole "What about the dads, why don't we get a night out?" when the mums' WhatsApp group organises a night out. Fuck off. Build it yourself.

@19ptrialprice Whether you like it or agree with it or not mumsnet is not and never has been for women. It was designed for parents and over the years other topics have appeared to discuss but they are open to all…..just ask Justine the MN founder.

I agree there are many men on here who are pervy to say the least. Just ignore or report and stay away from the sex topic. That said get away from the thought that MN is or was designed solely for women because it wasn’t and isn’t.

What do you mean it's "not allowed". Of course it's allowed.

The number one reason for the recent increase is the sex topic.

Predators go where the prey is and all that. Not exactly hard to find a vulnerable woman here. We post our weaknesses for all to see.

I don't doubt there are a minority that are here for parenting support/wisdom. However just like in real life, I usually assume that good decent men don't trample into women's spaces, whether they are 'allowed' to or not.

PR response to show they are inclusive. They would be slated otherwise. Why are adverts targeted to mums and women and not men. Hill I’ll die on. No amount of “evidence” from Mumsnet PR department will convince me otherwise.

Surely it’s a site designed to be where mothers’ voices lead but where everyone is welcome to express an opinion.

And yet there are endless threads on here about women being the default parent. Or the sexist threads from the trad wives saying women shouldn’t work and just raise kids.

Yup. Surely if they wanted to be exclusive they wouldn’t have named it that. But of course they named it Mumsnet. Who are the ones that are raising the child whilst on maternity leave and the father has went back to work after two weeks paternity leave.

Why doesn’t he have his own account? I find that more disturbing, tbh, that he isn’t posting in good faith as a man.

In general, I don’t have a problem with men posting here. After all, it is ‘by parents, for parents'

But I do hate the men who only post in the sex topic. They’re never here to consider parenting issues.

And the oh, so, faux posts in relationships about their issues with their wives/partners, which always turns out to be about sex. Which leads to so many women rushing to defend them, which - frankly - turns my stomach. To see so many women rushing to become handmaidens,

Who is PigletJohn?

Mumsnet has always been for everybody but men stayed away because they thought the chats on here are ‘mumsy’, boring and tedious.

Two reasons this is now changing 1. some men are realising fascinating debates are taking place on here 2. more fathers are now actively involved in looking after children

The silent male loneliness epidemic. Surely all these lonely made should just make friends with other lonely men?

You’ve never had a plumbing problem, have you? He’s a legend, that’s who he is.