Why are there so many men on this site?

[19ptrialprice]

There seems to be an increasing number of men on this website. These men appear to present themselves as straight cisgender men. This isn’t a trans issue. I don’t understand why a website that was created specifically for mums have a large number of men on it.

I understand why childfree women join as there are a lot of threads that are not about parenting. Childfree women will also use the site to get advice on TTC or miscarriage which are women exclusive, in the sense that women are the ones that give birth and also have to go through miscarriage. Men of course will experience child birth and grief but it’s the women, whose bodies have to experience this. Women have a shared experience of being a woman for example starting your period, growing breasts, TTC, miscarriage and menopause. Something that men’s body will never experience. Of course men are entitled to use this site but why should women have to put up with the men that are making sexist goady comments, which they are a lot of.

Should say this post is influenced by a man who told me to fuck off on this site after I called him out on his sexist behaviour.

The best example of this was when a man joined the gynae thread to tell a woman who was worried about having a hysteroscopy without a GA how she could just tell them to stop if it hurt so she could avoid the GA. He even went as far as telling her exactly what words to use As though the thought had not occurred to her. The thread was full of women giving their experiences of the procedure, yet The Man felt his advice was needed.

I mean , get in you lane you mansplaining arse.

no I don’t think that, I wouldn’t know If a user was disabled because it wouldn’t matter?

That's so true. Husband minimised my symptoms until yesterday when a male consultant explained to him exactly what I had been going through without complaining. He's now done a 180 degrees.

Hi again,

Thanks for your question. Mumsnet users have frequently told us about their struggles to access vital women’s health services and all too often women's health is trivialised, belittled and underfunded. It's become clear that there’s a particular need for a dedicated space to talk about women's health - especially around issues like birth injuries, continence, and postnatal recovery, which have historically been overlooked or stigmatised.

Campaigns like our Better Postnatal Care campaign and our work with organisations like Wellbeing of Women reflect that ongoing need. This is why it's important to have a dedicated topic for discussing women's health on a parenting site - so that these discussions can happen, in a way that they previously haven't.

That said, we do have a General Health topic, which is open to all health-related discussions, and we're always happy to hear suggestions for new topics. If there’s interest in a Men’s Health topic, please do start a thread in Site Stuff, and we’ll monitor the feedback as we do with any new topic proposal.

but the vast majority seem to be ignorant, uninformed, obtuse and attention seekers who what women to perform emotional labour for them whilst massaging their deflated egos. We can add rude and sexist to this* *

as is the minority of women who turn themselves inside out empathising over the faux naivety, when they would give a woman posting similar BS very short shrift indeed.
'Pick Me's

I've learned so much from mumsnet over the years. It's given me amazing perspectives from the very practical, to horrendous examples of the consequences of infidelity. I honestly think it's made me a better husband and father. It's given me an understanding of women, and their lives that I didn't previously have, and a varied view of family lives and what it means to be fair and cooperative. I cringe hugely when someone announces "man here" as though that somehow sets their opinion above all others. I also regularly piss myself laughing at some of the crazy, dry, humour. If it ever became a strictly female only space, I would respect that and leave. I'd miss it though.

But how do you know it's a man posting? As in, unless they have an obvious user name, many don't. Or say they are a man, many don't. I think this can only possibly be a slightly skewed perspective?

How do you know that men don't post about parenting @19ptrialprice ? Unless they tell us they're men (and if they do, they get stick for that, too) we don't know their sex.

If there's an increase in obnoxious male posters, then make that clear in your OP. But complaining about men in general being here, is unfair when HQ have made it clear that they are welcome.

Your response to the man on this thread who posted perfectly pleasantly about finding this place via Google results, was frankly shitty. I often find that a Mumsnet thread is among the top three or five Google results I get when I'm looking for help, and I don't think you've any right to tell a male that they're not allowed to click on it.

This whole thread is based on confirmation bias. You notice men when they're being creepy or arrogant. You don't notice (or probably aren't even aware of) the men who post for help, opinions, or information.

I'm always amazed there isn't a male equivalent of an online talking forum - you have hobby sites, Reddit, but just you know a site about manhood. Just call it that, manhood - the site for men where it's all good in the hood 👍

I have no idea what this comment “can only possibly be a slightly skewed perspective” - even means?!

That aside apart from the fact that so many can’t seem to help themselves and overtly announce:

“man here” or

“as a man let me give you my perspective” or the very worst

“i hope you’ll forgive me - a mere man - intruding, but i think perhaps i might be able to offer some insight” followed by paragraphs of reductive, sexist, patronising bullshit.

I did explicitly state that I can’t recognise all male posters but there is a certain style that is painfully obvious.

Dad’s net wouldn’t be shit though if they all went on it. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy 😏

If it ever became a strictly female only space, I would respect that and leave. I'd miss it though.

If it ever became a strictly female space (impossible to police online) I’d leave too. As I said upthread it’s called Mumsnet because women’s views and concerns are foregrounded. I like that it’s inclusive and hearing input from men. I don’t always agree with them (same with women) but I don’t feel threatened or silenced in any way by their views. I think it benefits men too.

What about the never ending posts from women moaning about their husbands/partners? The stag weekends/weeks/won’t get married/ watches too much sport/doesn't shower often enough…..on and on and on

Maybe there could be a Man Cave section for the mens.

@FancyNewt @justasking111 I reported that mansplainer to MNHQ but they said he wasn't breaking any guidelines, which I guess is technically true. But the breathtaking arrogance of a man instructing a women who was nervous and anxious about an upcoming gynae procedure was so shocking I couldn't let it go. That was a perfect exemplar of what men do on this site and we are supposed to put up with it and say thank you for your important contributions.

Some are here to Mansplain to the laydeees.😂
Some are here to perv.
Some because they really hate women.
Some come to harvest posts for other sites.
Quite a few come to get women who don't know them to "validate" their tales of a terrible DP. So they know what words to use against her next time they have an argument. It's the whole "my wife doesn't understand me" shit, but on the internet.🤮

A minority of men using this site enjoy it and join in the spirit. They don't make a thing about being a man.🤷‍♀️

How very like a man.

"We want into your spaces so either accept it or fuck off" 🙄

Im finding MN back up the menz increasingly. This place isn't like it used to be.

Some men are single parents so come looking for advice, fair enough, but why not invent a dadsnet? Other men on here are generally just creeps and have no respect for women's places.

No, how about they fuck off to a male website and leave women's websites alone.

There is one on here but hardly gets used.

How many men are there on here? No one knows.

Some men (and not the nice ones) say exactly the same about women who want to get into professions which happen to be dominated by males but which are fully open to everybody with the desire, aptitiude and qualifications.

Can I presume that you support them in their assertions?

The response from HW “ Mumsnet users have frequently told us about their struggles to access vital women’s health services” so they are talking about women. I gather you have no knowledge of PR or advertising. I suggest you read a book by Edward Bernays, called Propaganda. He was the nephew of Sigmund Freud. Famously monikered the Father of PR. He basically manipulated millions of women into taking up smoking. Fascinating read.

What company would want to appear that they were discriminating against a person’s sex? MN is a private company so of course they don’t want to lose a profit.