Why are there so many men on this site?

[19ptrialprice]

There seems to be an increasing number of men on this website. These men appear to present themselves as straight cisgender men. This isn’t a trans issue. I don’t understand why a website that was created specifically for mums have a large number of men on it.

I understand why childfree women join as there are a lot of threads that are not about parenting. Childfree women will also use the site to get advice on TTC or miscarriage which are women exclusive, in the sense that women are the ones that give birth and also have to go through miscarriage. Men of course will experience child birth and grief but it’s the women, whose bodies have to experience this. Women have a shared experience of being a woman for example starting your period, growing breasts, TTC, miscarriage and menopause. Something that men’s body will never experience. Of course men are entitled to use this site but why should women have to put up with the men that are making sexist goady comments, which they are a lot of.

Should say this post is influenced by a man who told me to fuck off on this site after I called him out on his sexist behaviour.

I'm a woman, and I dont want children. I came here when I was googling about Russell Brand and the the allegations where just starting.

I am a mother, but I mainly use the site for things other than parenting advice.

Funnily enough I was talking to DH about this the other day in the context of the trans girl “wanting” to join Rainbows thread. DH says it’s because as a non-blokey man he has always felt a bit jealous of female communities as they are nicer and too many men can quickly turn things into “a sausage fest”.

Maybe a man starting a discussion forum aimed at beta males would help? (half-joking)

I didn't specifically say that you were a newbie.

It was my general response based on the fact that we have this same thread very frequently.

Normally (but not always, granted), people starting the exact same thread that has been rehashed over and over again tend to be those who were not present until recently, and assume that none of the seasoned MN users must have thought to discuss it before; and don't see the need to have the briefest look to see if that is indeed true.

And yet there is no men’s health section, why is that?

Exactly. There’s a reason why woman don’t go on a man only site.

What men-only sites are there?

No demand? Perhaps the only person who has asked for one is you.

Incidentally, what's with the people saying (rather aggresively) that they 'know exactly who you are' to any poster whom they suspect (or probably in their own words, "Oh, trust me, I always know!") of being male on a forum that is very clearly (as confirmed by the owners time and time again) aimed at both sexes?

Are they just trying to out-aggressive the men?

How is it actually any kind of 'gotcha' anyway to identify somebody's sex in a place where they are welcomed by the owners - and why would you even do so? Weird.

For what it's worth, I've been harassed by both male and female posters (as far as I can gather). The only one who really scared me with her aggressive cyberstalking and negging appeared to be a woman - but again, how can anybody know for sure in every case?

Same! Avoid threads where it is obvious in the title. I am not interested in men’s opinions on here - nothing against men in RL or other social media eg FB, but not relevant on MN.

You said “if a newbie” and you were indirectly referring to me. We can all see that. There are numerous posts about the same topic, not everyone present will have seen the original post or might have not have interested in it. Quite frankly no cares if someone is or not, a very strange thing to be offended about.

If the site was inclusive, like it claims to be then there would be on @330ml

If you don't like it go somewhere else.

I am a Dad & Grandfather, I joined back in 2011 to read female opinions & points of view on many subjects that Dadsnet did not cover or have female opinions on. I found it very interesting & often entertaining interacting with some of the very funny regular names, that unfortunately I never see posting nowadays, hopefully they & their families are keeping well, I know a few have sadly died battling Cancer.

If the site was inclusive, like it claims to be then there would be on

So you keep saying.

What do you hope to gain by repeating it ad nauseam?

Once enough men have forced all the women out of places they considered safe it’ll only be the incels left.

Which is the obvious answer. Maybe the OP can go and start their own message board like they suggested up thread.

Men are welcome on here, you can either ignore it, embrace it or lump it. But I'm thinking we'll get the same thread in a month or so asking why men are on here. Like clockwork.

*Do I want to share my space all the time with men?
Neither do I however, Mumsnet has never claimed to be exclusively for mums as far as I am aware. Its just a name and just a general information site that has lots of different interest boards.

There’s a reason why woman don’t go on a man only site.
Which sites are men only?
Genuine question.

It’s called mumsnet for mums. Not parentnet for parents.
No its called Mumsnet.

The tagine is "The Mumsnet tagline is "Talk to Mumsnetters - the place to share, chat, and find support."

Left where?

OP just incase you forgot.

Don't be so dramatic.

Yes!

there are a minority of decent men on this site

there are a minority that I can’t identify as men on this site.

but the vast majority seem to be ignorant, uninformed, obtuse and attention seekers who what women to perform emotional labour for them whilst massaging their deflated egos.

they’re so transparently stupid it’s embarrassing, as is the minority of women who turn themselves inside out empathising over the faux naivety, when they would give a woman posting similar BS very short shrift indeed.

Heaven protect us from those incels.

A term that is becoming so overused that its almost pointless.

It was indeed a general comment on these kind of repeated threads. The people who start them usually tend to be newbies, and they blur into one; but I accept your word that you are not.

I'm not offended in any way; you can post whatever you like (subject to MNHQ). To be honest, I wish I had just sighed and ignored it, as these threads almost always go the same way:

ALL of the deeply unpleasant men on here are exactly the same as every single male poster (even though nobody is ever remotely suggesting the same of every single female poster - of which plenty are truly horrid);

Even though MN explicitly and repeatedly welcomes all users who respect the rules and the community on to their site, every man who posts is clearly some kind of perv, troll or malevolent force, even the ones who only ever ask about estate agent experiences, dog food or TV programmes;

They are being horribly deceitful (thus of course pervy) by not declaring that they are male, even though it is totally irrelevant to the topic; however, they are also dominating, arrogant mansplainers if they DO tell you that they are male;

Some female posters say that they wish MN were female-only - which is great - but nobody ever seems to do anything to found a female-only discussion forum, rather than just wishing to change somebody else's established mixed site instead.

Some (surprisingly aggressive) women start scoping out anybody who disagrees with them and tell them that they must be a man - whether they actually are or not - and somehow believe that this validates whatever point they were trying to make.

Of course, you can ignore any poster or thread for any reason whatsoever; and do make sure that you report every single poster who breaks the rules, oversteps any reasonable bounds and spoils what is otherwise a wonderful forum.

This! And I agree... clue is in the name!
One message I'd had input in was a reply defending paedos (sickening!). Obviously written by a man!

So are all the women on this mixed-but-mainly-female site also desperate for women's attention because they can't get any in meatspace?

Including the disabled users who often find online engagement and communication much more accessible than in-person fora?