He’s hit me and I don’t know what to do

[ThinkINeedHelp]

I’m crying and I probably won’t make much sense but please try to help me see straight.
Had an awful evening. I know it started as my fault. I was cross as trying to house train two puppies but it’s been a bad day with them today. I was a bit annoyed and swore. I didn’t swear at anyone, it was a case of oh ffs, this is getting ridiculous.

He was angry with me and we argued. It’s eventually ended up with him grabbing my wrists, shoving me against the bedroom wall and then hitting me in the face. My nose hurts, so does my shoulder.

I’m now going to be homeless. I’ve no family, no friends anymore, don’t work and I live in his house. I’m so utterly pathetic.i can’t drive as I’ve had two glasses of wine but come tomorrow I’ll have to leave.
I’ve allowed myself to end up in this position , I’m in my late 50’s and I can’t believe I’ve been so bloody stupid.

Happy Birthday OP!
have a great time tonight!
Well done for putting that knobber in his place!

You deserve all the cake for desert!

🎂 Happy birthday and have a lovely evening with your amazing step brother 🥳

Well done to you!

Happy birthday OP. I hope you’ve had a lovely day despite the not so good start .
My eyes filled with tears reading about your lovely new earrings and stick of rock . How thoughtful and lovely. I’m so happy for you .
My birthday is next Tuesday and it’s my first since my ex made me homeless . I havnt celebrated my birthday in over 10 years , last year was my 40th and I got 2 cards . One from my parents and one from my youngest . Ex didn’t get me a card nor wished me a happy birthday . My sister is taking me out for something to eat , I’m so excited too .
I hope you have a wonderful day , weekend and meal xx

I’ve reread your 3rd paragraph several times I can’t believe you had the bravery to call him out like that, you are awesome. So pleased you had a lovely birthday. Your SB sounds amazing.

🎂 Happy Birthday! What an inspiration you are !

Another one adding to the Birthday wishes 🎂🎂🎂🎂

Just want to say I’ve read your posts and I’m so happy for you ! Your step brother sounds like a wonderful person and you’ve definitely landed on your feet so keep going and enjoy this new journey, and happy birthday 🎈!

Excellent @ThinkINeedHelp but crap that He called you.

You mentioned that you told him you'd called the police 🚨.
I was going to wait till after your birthday to say this but..
I know you said you haven't contacted the police but PLEASE DO, if only to establish a documented trail of evidence (I know there's a better phrase for it). And have a great evening

Happy Birthday to you. I am in awe at how far you have changed your life in 12 days. You are fab and so is your stepbrother!

You are around my age and an amazing woman.
So delighted to read how you prioritised your safety and look where you are now.

I do think you should consider telling his daughter how he physically assaulted you repeatedly, verbally abused you, and caused you to take your chance a flee the house when he went into the shower, with only two bags.
Just a simple text saying the above.

He is a disgrace. His daughter knowing will be a fitting punishment for him.

She will be used by him, just like you were.
I think telling her you fled the house because of another assault and endless verbal abuse, might give her pause when she hears him whining on "poor me etc."

She will appreciate knowing that his abuse of you is why you left.

It might free her from becoming his skivvy.
Let that pig sort himself out.
How many women will want a pig like him?

Give his daughter the chance to make an informed decision.

Just something to think about.
Happy birthday and I sincerely home your future is a really happy peaceful one.
The support of your brother is a great gift.
Sounds like he is loving the company.

@ThinkINeedHelp you absolutely rock! Well done for telling him straight and calling him out.
If only for soft intel, please do let the police know, women's aid can help with support to speak to the domestic abuse team, because then if another woman requests a Claire's law check, there's a flag about him. I very much doubt you're his first victim.

Wishing you the happiest of Birthdays Op, sounds like you're in such a good place right now!
The world is your oyster and your stepbrother sounds like an absolute diamond!

I really admire how you find the words in the moment. It's so easy to freeze on the phone. You have so clearly told him why you left, that you are not coming back and got him thinking it is now a police matter.

@ThinkINeedHelp what did he have to say to that?

Well done OP.

He can't drag you back, he knows that, you know that, you told him just enough to hopefully (fingers crossed) just make him give up.
And he hasn't learnt his lesson because he "told you to go home" it's blatant empty words. If he had he would say "sorry it's came to this I wish you well" but it sounds like he didn't it was still all about you doing what he wants.

He was hoping you were broken and needed housing in return for whatever he wanted to throw at you. The "I have a new home" was a genius line, that's all he thought he had over you, and you've taken that away.

Enjoy the BBQ in new earrings.

Happy Birthday weekend OP!

Onwards and Upwards.

Let us know how the rest of the weekend goes.

Had a really lovely evening yesterday. The meal was delicious. When we got back we decided to open a bottle of wine and sit in the garden, we talked about the garden plan and about my ex. It was gone midnight before I went to bed, I didn’t wake up until after 9, had a bit of a thick head.

I can’t claim the credit for the I have a new home comment, that was something that sb had said when the ex had text to ask when I was going home? Sb told me to reply that I was in my new home, I didn’t do it at the time.

Went to B&Q plus a garden centre, came back with sb car absolutely rammed with stuff, I ended up having stuff on my knees as well.
Sb has painted the fence, I’ve been digging up some grass, marking out a couple of new flower beds and I’ve planted up three pots.

Looking forward to the bbq, taxi is picking us up at 6.

Loads to do in the garden tomorrow, I’ll probably carry of for the next couple of days as I’m not working until Wednesday. Hopefully it won’t be too hot

Wonderful update OP..... I just grin from ear to ear every time you post now.... you are not the same person you were 2 weeks ago... THIS IS FANTASTIC !!!!!

@ThinkINeedHelp meanwhile ex is walking about in unwashed clothes and looking like he hasnt eaten a square meal in a fortnight!! he deserves everything you have done in return! well done to you. x

I'm wondering if the ex would have had to have his daughter remind him that it was OPs birthday in order for him to phone up with the waterworks

@ThinkINeedHelp
SB may have given you the line, and permission, but you hit it into the back of the net at the perfect moment!

Happy birthday for yesterday, OP! I've just read your latest updates and I'm so delighted for you and so proud of you.

I'm delighted to hear about your job and your stepbrother's kindness.

I agree that if you feel able to, flagging ex's assaults and abuse with the police can only be a good thing. And I too think letting his daughter know exactly what a piece of shit he was to you would be a fitting punishment for him, plus she's less likely to be manipulated into doing things for him or falling for his bullshit.

But mainly, bloody well done you!!!! Enjoy every second of your shiny new life. If you can turn that situation around in just a few weeks, there's nothing you can't do 💪🏻🍾🎂🏆🏅🎁💐 x

Hi Op. Just checking in to see how you are this week xx

Morning everyone.
The weekend has been lovely. The bbq was great, I knew a couple of sb friends as they’d been his friends right from school. The others and partners all seemed very nice. Unfortunately I ended up with a glass of wine down my cleavage and front of my dress and I’d only been there half an hour. I was introduced to one of his friends, he’s got hands like shovels and he tried to shake my hand, know idea why, and he managed to knock my wine all over me.

That aside, it was a lovely evening. Sb mentioned that we are doing the garden and it turns out Mr Shovel has a skip hire company so he insisted on bringing us a skip, think it was by way of an apology as he refused to take any money,it arrived at 7.30 this morning, was still in my pyjamas.

The garden is coming along nicely, still loads to do and more plants required.

All pretty quiet from the ex, new phone number means he can’t call. I have had a social media request from his daughter, I’ve always kept my social media stuff private. I’ve ignored the request. As for saying anything to her, I’d rather not get involved. She knows I left while he was in the shower and she is also aware that I left with just two bags of stuff. As for me saying anymore about the reason, no.
He can lie and I won’t be there to defend myself so I can’t see any point.

You're right OP... keep a dignified silence. When I was in a situation once where someone was lying profusely about me and I was constantly stressed about it and explaining myself, someone sat me down and made me repeat over and over... "They don't matter. Anyone who matters knows the truth". It took a little while, but I did eventually learn that that's absolutely true. And have applied it in other situations. You march forth with this lovely new life. They don't matter. They'll say or think what the want anyway..... Just let them!!! Who cares !!!!!

Sounds like you have already told her.
Leaving while he was in the shower with two bags tells its own story.

Well done.