He’s hit me and I don’t know what to do

[ThinkINeedHelp]

I’m crying and I probably won’t make much sense but please try to help me see straight.
Had an awful evening. I know it started as my fault. I was cross as trying to house train two puppies but it’s been a bad day with them today. I was a bit annoyed and swore. I didn’t swear at anyone, it was a case of oh ffs, this is getting ridiculous.

He was angry with me and we argued. It’s eventually ended up with him grabbing my wrists, shoving me against the bedroom wall and then hitting me in the face. My nose hurts, so does my shoulder.

I’m now going to be homeless. I’ve no family, no friends anymore, don’t work and I live in his house. I’m so utterly pathetic.i can’t drive as I’ve had two glasses of wine but come tomorrow I’ll have to leave.
I’ve allowed myself to end up in this position , I’m in my late 50’s and I can’t believe I’ve been so bloody stupid.

Do you feel strong enough to call the police, OP? It sounds horrendous. Where is he now?

Are you safe enough to call the police?
There will be better advice coming soon, but I’m sending strength.
Try and get somewhere safe.

https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/our-refuges/

You can call them 24 hours a day.

Deep breath, try not to provoke him overnight - I know you shouldn’t have to but you need to keep safe - then leave in the morning.

It's not your fault. Can you get somewhere safe tonight?

You need to call it in lovely. It's not acceptable behaviour. He cannot be allowed to get away with it. You've not 'allowed anything'. This is not your fault.

See if you can call here and ask for advice safely. He is violent and your relationship is ending which means he is at his most dangerous to you

Hand hold - whether it's ring the police tonight or get away tomorrow, by this time tomorrow things will be much much better

Another one here for support. Keep yourself safe. If you feel strong enough calling the police is a sensible thing to do.
If not, hold tight until the morning and get out of there.
I noticed you mentioned no friends anymore. I doubt it. Your friends will be right where you left them If he's been isolating you from them. Believe me x

He’s in bed. I’m in a spare room. I honestly don’t think I can call them.
I screamed really loudly when he did it, it’s warm and the windows were open so he backed off.
He’s hit me before a few times, once gave a a terrible black eye. When he’s like he’s been tonight, he just tells me to shut up but I just can’t when he’s been so bad.
This evening he’s called me
A silly looking cow
Stupid bitch
Thick as pig shit
Fucking useless
A cunt.
All of this from a 68 year old man who ran a successful business for years and can be as charming as they come.

Report all these incidents to the police tomorrow. You at least need to have something on record

Please don’t let him talk you into staying.

Call the police definitely. Best thing I did was press charges against my abuser.

Thank you all so much for being so lovely

I’m 58 next week. My friends have disappeared over the last twenty years I’ve been with him.
He hasn’t liked any of them, didn’t like my dad, or step brothers. Wasn’t keen on my step mum either.
How the hell do I start again from this? No job no home.

Oh you poor thing. If you were my friend I’d hope you’d call me so I could get you out of there. Do you have a friend you can call? You might feel safer ringing the police from somewhere else.

He’s always held this house over me.
Oh if it’s so bad then you know where the door is. He’s been right that I didn’t have the guts to leave.
I literally don’t have one person in real life.

It doesn’t matter how charming he is. It’s not normal. You know that x

Can you at least register what happened online with the police? Then it's a contemporaneous report, and you can say you can't talk, that's why your reporting online. Then speak tomorrow when you are safe to do so.

Contact your brother's reach out to friends, tell them you have been in an abusive controlling relationship for years.....you have. All abusers can be charming.
Ring the number above .
Sending hugs.

That’s the thing he says about me. He’s always telling me I’m not right in the head. @ThisAmpleDenimCrab He’ll make odd jokes, and then tell me I’m wrong for not understanding.

Contact Women’s Aid

Call 999 and press 55 they will know you can't speak and will come to help. Xxx

Google your council’s Emergency Duty Team number and phone them right now. They can help you with somewhere to stay right away - you are priority need as you are fleeing DV.

You could also kick him out with an occupation order, doesn’t matter who owns it. This route can be hard and complex though.

https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/guide-to-domestic-violence-housing-and-homelessness.pdf

Please think about calling the police. Think about calling the DA helpline once you are safe and get to a refuge. They can help you rebuild your life x

Thanks everyone. Everything is quiet. I’m struggling to read properly, tears on my reading glasses. I’m going to look at the links that have been posted and I’m going to try and get some sleep. I’m so bloody exhausted. I’ve realised over the last few months that things won’t ever change.