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My husband died today

256 replies

BlossomIsSoPretty · 07/06/2025 06:57

I'm a paraplegic. My husband helps me to bed and then he puts my wheelchair on charge, locks up the house, gets us both glasses of water etc. I'm usually asleep by the time he gets to bed (I take medication that makes me sleep). At 1am I woke up and husband wasn't next to me. I presumed he had gone to the toilet so I waited a while but he didn't return. I couldn't get out of bed to find him because my chair is in another room. I called for him but no answer. I had my phone next to me so I rang his but realised it was on his bed side table.

To cut a long story short, I had to call the police for assistance as I couldn't think what else to do. They came and found DH on the sofa in the lounge. He had died. This was 3.30am. He was cold so died a few hours ago.

As I've no family, a lovely police lady is here with me.
DH is still here. Paramedics have lay him on the sofa. Undertakers will be here soon. I don't even know what to do. He was 67. He has 3 daughters and 6 grandchildren. 1 daughter is on holiday in Spain but will get first flight home, 1 had a baby 3 weeks ago and is still in hospital due to complications and the 3rd lives 4 hours away and doesn't drive but is now on the train but won't get here for a while.

I'm rambling. If I wasn't paralysed I could have saved him. I couldn't get to him. I'm sorry darling.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 07/06/2025 07:00

Glad you have someone with you. I know it is hard but even if you could have got to him the chances are you wouldn’t have been able to save him. Glad his daughters are on their way. Look after yourself…I am so sorry for your loss

Bestnottalkaboutit · 07/06/2025 07:00

Oh my.

I am so very sorry. An internet stranger is holding you in their thoughts and heart.

FloraBotticelli · 07/06/2025 07:00

I’m so sorry Flowers What an awful shock. You’re not to blame in any way.

SuperGinger · 07/06/2025 07:00

I am so sorry for your loss, and wish you all the best with the practicalities of everything. 💐

MrsPerfect12 · 07/06/2025 07:00

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

OnyourbarksGSG · 07/06/2025 07:01

Oh lovely, I’m so sorry to hear this. You must be devastated. Please try not to blame yourself, that’s a pointless exercise. I hope your family and friends rally around you ♥️

EleanorReally · 07/06/2025 07:01

i am so sorry Flowers

Flipslop · 07/06/2025 07:01

Oh OP 💔 what an awful awful shock for you. Take all the support you can get, hopefully someone on here can point you in the direction of what services can help with practicalities but also maybe some emotional support. I’m so so sorry this has happened to you xx

Charlottejbt · 07/06/2025 07:03

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Landlubber2019 · 07/06/2025 07:03

I am sorry, what a shock for you and I am glad you are not alone. Please don't bear responsibility, it wasnt your fault x

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 07/06/2025 07:03

I'm so sorry @BlossomIsSoPretty , how utterly devastating for you all. Please don't blame yourself - how could you have known? He may have suddenly felt unwell and sat/collapsed down onto the sofa and nobody would have heard a thing, whether they took medication to sleep or not.

Do you have other family or good friends around to support you at the moment?

Bestnottalkaboutit · 07/06/2025 07:06

So glad you are not alone, and family are on their way to you.

I have experienced the sudden, unexpected death of a parent at a young age; your world is not your own for several weeks, it is a very very hard time to get your head around something so shocking, unexpected and final. Live minute by minute, and you will get through. There are times you feel you won’t, but you will.

Courage. You will be in my thoughts. I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

NotaCoolMum · 07/06/2025 07:06

Im so so sorry for your unimaginable loss ❤️‍🩹

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 07/06/2025 07:07

Oh no! What an awful shock. You must feel so many things right now. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. I’m thinking it must have been quick or you would have heard him call. Sounds like he loved you very much and was a caring man. I’m so sorry. It must feel unreal right now. You’re going to be ok. Xx

Sunsetchaser01 · 07/06/2025 07:08

I’m so very sorry for your huge loss, your husband sounded like a very kind caring man. The shock must be huge. I am glad the policewoman is with you for support. I will be thinking of you today .

morbidd · 07/06/2025 07:11

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please talk to us whenever you need.

Everydayimwingingit · 07/06/2025 07:13

I'm so sorry for your loss x

PaulKnickerless · 07/06/2025 07:13

I am so sorry for your loss. I really feel for you. 💐

Summertimealready · 07/06/2025 07:13

Oh I'm so sorry OP.

You must be in total shock.

I'm sure the police will make sure you get support to help you through you your immediate needs.

Sending you all best wishes.

Weepixie · 07/06/2025 07:14

I’m very sorry you’ve lost your darling husband and I hope as time goes by you are able to be kind to yourself ❤️

BlossomIsSoPretty · 07/06/2025 07:14

I don't have any family of my own. It's too early to phone friends. I have carers who come to me at 8am but I have just rang them to cancel my calls for today. They help with getting me out of bed and personal care but the police got me out of bed so I don't need anybody. Police lady is wonderful. She keeps asking if I want help getting dressed. That's not her job but she wants to help. I don't know what I want. I want my husband back.

OP posts:
Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 07/06/2025 07:15

I'm sorry for your loss.
Perhaps ask for this to be put in bereavement when you're ready and get people to talk to who've experienced what your enduring.

Fitasafiddle1 · 07/06/2025 07:16

Do you have someone to look after you op? It sounds like your dh did everything for you. He knew you loved him. Now, you need to focus on getting through day by day. One small step at a time.

whereisit1 · 07/06/2025 07:17

I'm so sorry, how terrible. There's nothing you could have done, please don't blame yourself. Wishing you all the best.

sandgrown · 07/06/2025 07:21

So sorry for your loss. Please don’t blame yourself . Thinking of you x