Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

My husband died today

256 replies

BlossomIsSoPretty · 07/06/2025 06:57

I'm a paraplegic. My husband helps me to bed and then he puts my wheelchair on charge, locks up the house, gets us both glasses of water etc. I'm usually asleep by the time he gets to bed (I take medication that makes me sleep). At 1am I woke up and husband wasn't next to me. I presumed he had gone to the toilet so I waited a while but he didn't return. I couldn't get out of bed to find him because my chair is in another room. I called for him but no answer. I had my phone next to me so I rang his but realised it was on his bed side table.

To cut a long story short, I had to call the police for assistance as I couldn't think what else to do. They came and found DH on the sofa in the lounge. He had died. This was 3.30am. He was cold so died a few hours ago.

As I've no family, a lovely police lady is here with me.
DH is still here. Paramedics have lay him on the sofa. Undertakers will be here soon. I don't even know what to do. He was 67. He has 3 daughters and 6 grandchildren. 1 daughter is on holiday in Spain but will get first flight home, 1 had a baby 3 weeks ago and is still in hospital due to complications and the 3rd lives 4 hours away and doesn't drive but is now on the train but won't get here for a while.

I'm rambling. If I wasn't paralysed I could have saved him. I couldn't get to him. I'm sorry darling.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/06/2025 09:02

So sorry for your loss OP.

AlleycatMarie · 07/06/2025 09:03

I am so very sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock. Please know you wouldn’t have been able to save him anyway, it would have all happened too quickly.
Will be thinking of you x

FlibbertyGibbitt · 07/06/2025 09:04

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐 how awful for you 💔💔💔

Sometimesbetter · 07/06/2025 09:05

I am so sorry for your loss💐. You should in no way feel like this is your fault, I am worried you do from your post. I am glad his children are coming. I hope your care is arranged too.

Tangerinenets · 07/06/2025 09:05

I’m so sorry for your loss xx

ChessorBuckaroo · 07/06/2025 09:07

So sorry for your loss OP. Glad you will have other family members coming round soon to comfort you.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 07/06/2025 09:09

I’m so sorry. This is so very sad x

ERest · 07/06/2025 09:12

I am so sorry this has happened, and while it will be a journey, I hope you find comfort and peace soon.

Missj25 · 07/06/2025 09:14

BlossomIsSoPretty · 07/06/2025 06:57

I'm a paraplegic. My husband helps me to bed and then he puts my wheelchair on charge, locks up the house, gets us both glasses of water etc. I'm usually asleep by the time he gets to bed (I take medication that makes me sleep). At 1am I woke up and husband wasn't next to me. I presumed he had gone to the toilet so I waited a while but he didn't return. I couldn't get out of bed to find him because my chair is in another room. I called for him but no answer. I had my phone next to me so I rang his but realised it was on his bed side table.

To cut a long story short, I had to call the police for assistance as I couldn't think what else to do. They came and found DH on the sofa in the lounge. He had died. This was 3.30am. He was cold so died a few hours ago.

As I've no family, a lovely police lady is here with me.
DH is still here. Paramedics have lay him on the sofa. Undertakers will be here soon. I don't even know what to do. He was 67. He has 3 daughters and 6 grandchildren. 1 daughter is on holiday in Spain but will get first flight home, 1 had a baby 3 weeks ago and is still in hospital due to complications and the 3rd lives 4 hours away and doesn't drive but is now on the train but won't get here for a while.

I'm rambling. If I wasn't paralysed I could have saved him. I couldn't get to him. I'm sorry darling.

Hey OP ..
I am so very saddened to read this 😔 … Sorry for your loss …
I’m glad you will have family with you soon , you must feel so shocked..
I will light a candle for you & your husband when I get in from work .. x x

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 07/06/2025 09:15

I am so, so sorry, OP, how absolutely dreadful, I wish I could give you a long hug.
Please don't blame yourself, I wish there was more I could say to take away the pain and the shock you will be feeling, I hope you are surrounded by love, I am sure you will be once your family arrive. My sincere condolences to you all.

wonderpetsrus · 07/06/2025 09:16

I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a truly good man.

Isobel201 · 07/06/2025 09:21

BlossomIsSoPretty · 07/06/2025 07:14

I don't have any family of my own. It's too early to phone friends. I have carers who come to me at 8am but I have just rang them to cancel my calls for today. They help with getting me out of bed and personal care but the police got me out of bed so I don't need anybody. Police lady is wonderful. She keeps asking if I want help getting dressed. That's not her job but she wants to help. I don't know what I want. I want my husband back.

What are your plans for the evenings though? Do you get help then? Condolences to you at this sad time 😔

IOnlyWantSexMoneyPowerAndRevenge · 07/06/2025 09:23

I am so sorry.

Don't blame yourself. This is not your fault. Even if you had been able bodied, there probably wouldn't have been much you could have done.

People will want to help, please let them.

ruethewhirl · 07/06/2025 09:23

Oh OP. Massive condolences, I feel so sad for you. What a terrible shock this must have been, but please don't blame yourself. Glad you have family coming to support. Will be thinking of you today. 💐

Imupforthat · 07/06/2025 09:24

Oh my love. My dad died in very similar circumstances last month. He’d just got mam who is disabled up and settled, then collapsed behind her. She couldn’t move to help and doesn’t have much speech. Thankfully her phone was in reach and she was able to text my sister who called the emergency services who then had to break in.

I’m sorry this happened to you. The shock, the trauma and the what ifs are brutal. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you love. Xxx

JellyRollBlues · 07/06/2025 09:25

I am so very sorry for your loss, and as a pp said this stranger is thinking of you today. Xx

Cavello · 07/06/2025 09:26

I'm so sorry for your loss.💐

DildoSaggins · 07/06/2025 09:30

I am so very sorry for your huge loss. What a massive shock for you. I can't even begin to imagine how painful this must feel. 🌹

I am glad you have family and friends for support.

You are in my thoughts. Sending hugs x

spicemaiden · 07/06/2025 09:32

What an awful terrible tragic shock. I’m so so sorry, OP.

Purplebunnie · 07/06/2025 09:36

I'm so very very sorry xx

achangeofnameisasgoodasarest · 07/06/2025 09:36

I am so, so sorry. xx

CiaoMeow · 07/06/2025 09:36

I'm so sorry. x

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/06/2025 09:42

Very sorry for your loss.

Don’t blame yourself, my Dad died in his sleep in hospital after an operation. He had a heart attack and there was nothing that could be done even with all the staff and equipment. There is nothing you could have done to change this deeply sad outcome.

Be kind to yourself, your world has been turned up upside down.

AgnesX · 07/06/2025 09:42

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please don't blame yourself. The same happened to my friend and she isn't disabled. 💐

jessycake · 07/06/2025 09:44

What an awful shock for you , so sorry for your loss 💔

Swipe left for the next trending thread